Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy 1)

"Your healing powers are incredible. No one has any idea just how powerful."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come now, Vasilisa. I know about the raven - Natalie saw you do it. She'd been following you. And I know how you healed Rose."

She realized the pointlessness of denying it. "That...was different. Rose wasn't that hurt. But you...I can't do anything about Sandovsky's Syndrome."

"Not that hurt?" he laughed. "I'm not talking about her ankle - which was still impressive. I'm talking about the car accident. Because you're right, you know. Rose didn't get 'that hurt.' She died."

He let the words sink in.

"That's...no. She lived," Lissa finally managed.

"No. Well, yes, she did. But I read all the reports. There was no way she should have survived - especially with so many injuries. You healed her. You brought her back." He sighed, half wistful and half weary. "I'd suspected you could do this for so long, and I tried so hard to repeat it...to see how much you could control..."

Lissa caught on and gasped. "The animals. It was you."

"With Natalie's help."

"Why would you do that? How could you?"

"Because I had to know. I have only a few more weeks to live, Vasilisa. If you can truly bring back the dead, then you can cure Sandovsky's. I had to know before I took you away that you could heal at will and not just in moments of panic."

"Why take me at all?" A spark of anger flared up in her. "You're my near-uncle. If you wanted me to do this - if you really think I can..." Her voice and feelings showed me she didn't really entirely believe she could heal him. "Then why kidnap me? Why didn't you just ask?"

"Because it's not a onetime affair. It took a long time to figure out what you are, but I managed to acquire some of the old histories...scrolls kept out of Moroi museums. When I read about how wielding spirit works - "

"Wielding what?"

"Spirit. It's what you've specialized in."

"I haven't specialized in anything! You're crazy."

"Where else do you think these powers of yours have come from? Spirit is another element, one few people have any more."

Lissa's mind was still reeling from the kidnapping and the possible truth that she'd brought me back from the dead. "That doesn't make any sense. Even if it wasn't common, I still would have heard of another element! Or of someone having it."

"No one knows about spirit anymore. It's been forgotten. When people do specialize in it, nobody realizes it. They think the person simply hasn't specialized at all."

"Look, if you're just trying to make me feel - " She abruptly cut herself off. She was angry and afraid, but behind those emotions, her higher reasoning had been processing what he'd said about spirit users and specializing. It now caught up with her. "Oh my God. Vladimir and Ms. Karp."

He gave her a knowing look. "You've known about this all along."

"No! I swear. It's just something Rose was looking into...She said they were like me..." Lissa was starting to change from a little scared to all scared. The news was too shocking.

"They are like you. The books even say Vladimir was 'full of spirit.' " Victor seemed to find that funny. Seeing that smile made me want to slap him.

"I thought..." Lissa still wanted him to be wrong. The idea of not specializing was safer than specializing in some freakish element. "I thought that meant, like, the Holy Spirit."

"So does everyone else, but no. It's something else entirely. An element that's within all of us. A master element that can give you indirect control over the others." Apparently my theory about her specializing in all the elements wasn't so far off.

She worked hard to get a grip on this news and her own self-control. "That doesn't answer my question. It doesn't matter if I have this spirit thing or whatever. You didn't have to kidnap me."

"Spirit, as you've seen, can heal physical injuries. Unfortunately, it's only good on acute injuries. Onetime things. Rose's ankle. The accident wounds. For something chronic - say, a genetic disease like Sandovsky's - continual healings are required. Otherwise it will keep coming back. That's what would happen to me. I need you, Vasilisa. I need you to help me fight this and keep it away. So I can live."

"That still doesn't explain why you took me," she argued. "I would have helped you if you'd asked."

"They never would have let you do it. The school. The council. Once they got over the shock of finding a spirit user, they'd get hung up on ethics. After all, how does one choose who gets to be healed? They'd say it wasn't fair. That it was like playing God. Or else they'd worry about the toll it'd take on you."

She flinched, knowing exactly what toll he referred to.

Seeing her expression, he nodded. "Yes. I won't lie to you. It will be hard. It will exhaust you - mentally and physically. But I must do it. I am sorry. You'll be provided with feeders and other entertainments for your services."

She leapt from the chair. Ben immediately stepped forward and pushed her back into it. "And then what? Are you going to just make me a prisoner here? Your own private nurse?"

He made that annoying open-palmed gesture again. "I'm sorry. I have no choice."

White-hot anger blasted away the fear inside of her. She spoke in a low voice. "Yes. You don't have the choice, because this is me we're talking about."

"It's better for you this way. You know how the others turned out. How Vladimir spent the last of his days stark, raving mad. How Sonya Karp had to be taken away. The trauma you've experienced since the accident comes from more than just your family's loss. It's from using spirit. The accident woke the spirit in you; your fear over seeing Rose dead made it burst out, allowing you to heal her. It forged your bond. And once it's out, you can't put it back. It's a powerful element - but it's also dangerous. Earth users get their power from the earth, air users from the air. But spirit? Where do you think that comes from?"

She glared.

"It comes from you, from your own essence. To heal another, you must give part of yourself. The more you do that, the more it will destroy you over time. You must be noticing that already. I've seen how much certain things upset you, how fragile you are."

"I'm not fragile," snapped Lissa. "And I'm not going to go crazy. I'm going to stop using spirit before things get worse."

He smiled. "Stop using it? You might as well stop breathing. Spirit has its own agenda...You'll always have the urge to help and heal. It's part of you. You resisted the animals, but you didn't think twice about helping Rose. You can't even help compulsion - which spirit also gives you special strength in. And that's how it will always be. You can't avoid spirit. Better to stay here, in isolation, away from further sources of stress. You'd either have become increasingly unstable at the Academy, or they would have put you on some pill that would have made you feel better but stunted your power."