Feral Sins (The Phoenix Pack 1)

“Don’t you have something to do in your office?”

Trey winced. He deserved that, he knew he did. “I’m not moving from this spot until you tell me what’s wrong, baby,” he told her gently.

“Good,” she said as she hopped down from the chair. “That means you’ll be a long way away from me because I’m about to leave the room.” She picked up the chair and carried it through the tunnel toward the kitchen, deliberately ignoring Trey who was trailing behind her. Tao wasn’t far behind him. She returned the chair to the dining table and put the duster back in the cupboard before going to the sink to wash her hands. Noticing there were a few mugs and dishes on the counter, she stacked them into the sink and filled it with hot soapy water.

“What is it, baby? Tell me what’s wrong.”

That was now the fourth time he had called her ‘baby’. Cheeky bastard. If he thought he could block out her existence but then expect her to still confide in him he was seriously mistaken. Taryn would have told him that, but she didn’t want to argue with him, she just wanted him to go back to his hidey hole and leave her to grieve her mother in peace.

Taryn knew that her method of grieving wasn’t normal, that shutting off from the world around you while your body went on autopilot and you disappeared in your thoughts and memories was not good. It was the same state she had slipped into when her mom and Joey were in the accident. Although she had eventually dug her way out of it, she always tended to retreat whenever it was the anniversary of their death or either of their birthdays. It was just how she coped. The only way she could cope without screaming.

But having Trey around her – someone who frustrated and annoyed the hell out of her and had her wolf all messed up – was threatening the stability of her seemingly indifferent state. All that frustration and annoyance that she had been shoving aside was at risk of bursting out of her. If that happened, she would break. She couldn’t afford to do that.

“Come on, leave those and come sit with me.”

Ignoring him in the hope that he would go away, Taryn continued scrubbing the dishes.

“Taryn, you can’t tell me you’re not upset about something.”

Realising he was closer now, she warned in a low voice, “Back off, Trey.”

“Back off?”

“Yes.”

“You want me to back off?” It was one thing when Trey assumed she just didn’t want to talk about whatever it was that was bugging her, but it was another thing altogether for her to want to freeze him out.

“Yes, I want you to leave me alone. It shouldn’t be too hard. You do it easily enough any other time.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re mad at me for not spending time with you?”

A short humorless laugh escaped her. “Yes because the world revolves around you.”

“Then what is it?”

“Like I said, just back off.”

“I won’t back off. Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Deep breaths, she told herself. And those deep breaths actually worked. The tension didn’t leave her body, but it eased a little. Until hands wrapped around her middle as a large body pressed against her back and, making it even worse, he whispered into her ear ‘What’s wrong, baby?’

There was that word again! Something inside her snapped. Abruptly she spun, splashing water everywhere. Shocked, Trey jumped back out of the way. “Didn’t I tell you to back off? I’m pretty sure that’s what I said.”

He held his hands up in a calming gesture. “Taryn -”

“Just stay away from me. That’s all I’m asking you to do. It’s something you do every single f**king day so why on this one day that I really need a little alone time am I suddenly of interest to you?!”

“I just want to know what’s wrong.”

“Well that’s tough shit, psycho boy, because I don’t want to talk to you!” Seeing that people were starting to gather was only making her worse. She suddenly felt like a cornered animal, like everyone was taking up her breathing space. Growling, she wiped her hands on the hand towel and then stalked toward the door. The crowd quickly parted, apparently not daring to intervene.

“Where’re you going?”

“Away from you!”

Trey jogged down the tunnel after her. “Oh no, you don’t get to shut me out like this. You’re my mate.”

She pivoted on the spot. “No, I’m not.”

“What did you just say?” he asked softly but in a very dangerous tone.

“We don’t count as mates if you only act like it when it suits you. But, hey, don’t get me wrong – if putting on act for other people is as far as it goes for you, then that’s fine. But don’t you dare throw that ‘you’re my mate’ shit at me when I won’t do what you want!”

He knew she was right, but the denial was automatic. “You are my mate, Taryn.”

“Is it fun in La La Land? It must be, because you go there a lot.” Out of patience, she spun and began stalking away.

“For God’s sake, Taryn, will you stop walking away from me.” Trey honestly wasn’t sure what happened…He’d reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder and then next thing he knew he was flat on his back on the ground and Taryn was snarling down at him. Damn the woman knew some good moves.

“Back. Off,” she growled. She looked up at the others who were slowly edging toward them, their expressions unsure. “All of you back off! I want to be alone!” Then she was striding out the main door, down the mountain, across the small open field and into the forest.

Many times she had gone on a leisurely walk or a run through here with Tao, but never had she gone as far as she intended to go today. Plenty of times she had heard the sound of the river in the distance, had known it was there and known that one day she would really need to go there for some alone time.

The River Kids – that was what her mom and Joey’s mom had called them. Some kids liked beaches, some kids liked swing parks, and she and Joey had liked rivers. No, they’d loved rivers. Loved the sounds, loved the surrounding wildlife, loved paddling in the shallow water and balancing on old tree branches that crossed the expanse of the river. There was something calming about them, she thought. Right now, she needed to calm the hell down.

On eventually reaching the river she found a bolder to perch herself on and took a deep, cleansing, calming breath. Again and again she filled her lungs with the fresh crispy forest air, letting it relax her. The familiar smells of wet earth and pine made her wolf ease a little within her. It was amazing how a place could relax you even as a barrage of sad memories hit you, mused Taryn.

A familiar guttural ‘tock’ sound snagged her attention and made her look to the tree beside her. “Hey LJ,” she said around the frog in her throat. Why the bird followed her around sometimes she had no idea, but that had been another thing that she and Joey used to marvel at together – the way birds were so at ease with her, almost attracted to her.

Hey Joe. I know that I shouldn’t always come to you whenever I need to talk to someone, that I should actually try confiding in people who are alive…but they’d be able to tell me to shut up. And in truth, you’re all I have.

As much as I really like these people here – with the exception of a few, including the evil and very senile version of Yoda – I still don’t feel like I can really talk to them. Not even to say ‘hey I miss my mom’. Actually, no, it’s not that I don’t feel like I can talk to them, it’s that I don’t want to start opening up to them and getting too comfortable here. Snort. Not that there’s really much chance of me getting comfortable with psycho boy around.

You know, I used to look at mated couples and I’d think how amazing it must be, that once you mated you’d never feel alone ever again because that person would become a part of you. I mean, I know that my mating with Trey doesn’t count in an emotional sense, but I still didn’t expect this feeling of being…trapped. I’m bound to someone who won’t even touch me socially, who deliberately avoids me – unless I want to be left alone, apparently I’m interesting to him then – and who has my wolf enthralled. And how is it that he’s able to get my wolf so enthralled with him anyway? That shouldn’t be possible. She’s such a traitor sometimes.

It’s freaking shit, the lot of it. I should be able to turn around to the person I’m mated to, even if it’s only temporary, and say ‘you know what, it’s my mom’s birthday today and I miss her’, but I don’t even feel like I can talk to him like that. See, you really are all I have.

A noise in the distance pulled her from her conversation with Joey. So she hadn’t been left alone after all, and they apparently thought she wouldn’t realize this. Oh the bastards.

So this was what Taryn had been feeling like, mused Trey as he sat at the kitchen table tapping his fingers on the surface. It hadn’t occurred to him that by establishing a distance between them it could actually be a bad thing, that it could actually hurt her. But the way Taryn had froze him out, walked away from him, pulled away from his touch…it hurt.

She was his mate. No, not of the soul or heart, but she was still his mate and she had ordered him away from her. She had rejected his comfort. Generally he wasn’t a guy who offered comfort, but this was his mate. And she didn’t want him. A part of him knew that it shouldn’t hurt this much, but he didn’t want to think on that or he would have to address the question of why it hurt like this.

What bothered him more than any of that was that she was clearly nursing some sort of emotional ache. One strong enough to make her withdraw from everyone and everything around her. His strong Taryn was close to breaking and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. That sense of helplessness was eating at both him and his wolf, increasing his need to find her and soothe her.

Suddenly Tao appeared, panting. “Trey, we got a problem.”

Instantly he was on his feet. “What?”

“Taryn. I can’t find her.”

“What do you mean you can’t find her?”

“I did what you said – I stayed a good distance away but was close enough to hear if there was a problem. Maybe she heard me and got pissed off that someone had followed her, I don’t know, but I can’t find her.”

“Shit.” So a large party of them searched. Searched every single inch of the forest, checked every tree, even the river. But there was no sign of her. It was obvious she had stopped at the river for a while, but then she seemed to have done a runner while covering her tracks. And damn if she wasn’t good at covering her tracks.

With each minute Trey became more concerned and his wolf grew more restless, understanding that his mate was hurting and missing. For a split second, Trey had wondered if she’d done something stupid while so emotional, but the thought left his head instantly. Taryn would never take the coward’s way out of anything.

“Okay,” said Dante as they came to a halt outside the forest. “Let’s put ourselves in Taryn’s shoes. She wanted to be alone. Nothing more than that, right?”

“Yes, so she came out here,” said Trick.

“But we wouldn’t let her be. And I doubt that while she was in that foul mood she was too pleased about her simple wish being ignored like that.”

“Definitely not,” agreed Marcus, “but she didn’t come and verbally kick our asses and that doesn’t sound like her.”

“It’s worth pointing out that she wasn’t at all herself,” said Dominic with a shrug.

“But she will have been utterly pissed and insulted by the idea that we thought we could still follow her and think she wouldn’t know,” said Tao.

“Do you think maybe she’s been teaching us a little lesson about how not stupid she is?” asked Ryan.

It fell into place suddenly. Trey smiled. “Something like that. She’s been leading us on a merry chase. I know where she is.”

Everyone’s expressions begged ‘Where?’

“She’s back inside the caves. I’ll put money on it. She’ll have known that if she made it look as though she was missing, we’d come out searching for her.”

“Leaving the caves empty apart from a few,” said Ryan.

“And giving her what she wanted,” finished Trey, “the simple chance to be alone.” It was a brilliant plan, he had to admit it. She had totally played them, and played them well.

“Shit,” cursed Trick. “I can’t believe we’ve been out here for hours and she’s been in the house all along. You’re sure?”

“It sounds like something she’d do,” said Marcus.

It turned out that it was exactly what she’d done, although at first Trey had wondered if he’d been wrong as she hadn’t been in the kitchen or living area or in their bedroom. If he hadn’t picked up her scent in the second floor tunnels, he might have ended up back on that merry chase.

Following her scent, he soon found himself outside one of the guest bedrooms – not that they ever had guests. There were no sounds coming from inside, but he was certain that she was in there. Slowly and quietly he turned the doorknob and opened the door. His chest tightened at the sight before him. Taryn was curled up on the bed, asleep, with dried tears on her red cheeks. She was cuddling something, he noticed a few seconds later.

As he carefully closed the door and crept closer he realized that it was a shoebox. One that she had had for a while if the bad state of the cardboard was anything to go by. Curious, he sat beside her and gently took the faded-white box from between her now limp arms. As he removed the lid, his chest tightened again. Inside were nothing more than inconsequential little things like a net-bag of marbles, a large shiny stone, a plastic engagement-type ring, a miniature plush bear, and some homemade Christmas cards and birthday cards and other bits and pieces. But these little things meant everything to Taryn because they had obviously either belonged to her true mate or been given to her by him.