Boyfriend for the Summer

I have no idea what makes that part of the body hot on men, but it is. Holy shit.

I’m the person that he looks at when he steps into the circle of light, and that small smile makes my stomach do a flip. His blue eyes are almost turquoise in the fire’s light. Like the color of the water the day he took me under the dock that summer. Oh my god, I’m in so much trouble.

Where’s the chocolate? Chocolate is good for panicking, right?

Eric settles back down in his seat, and everyone gets quiet. “What should I play?”

“Smoke on the water,” one of the adults says, and everybody laughs.

One of the kids suggests a song that I know has been one the radio recently, and Eric goes quiet. “Yeah,” he finally says, though his voice is rough. “I can play that.”

Clearing his throat, he starts to strum the guitar. I’m having déjà vu in this moment. Especially when he looks at me and starts to sing. His voice is haunting, like it was made for this song’s lyrics which are about love and finding where you belong.

On the radio it’s still a ballad, but it has a soothing, peaceful tone. This is bittersweet and mournful in the best way. It doesn’t change the mood of the people surrounding the campfire, but it sharpens it. We’re all hanging on Eric’s every note, because he’s a goddamn brilliant musician.

If any of those people in New York he’s working with in New York can’t see that, they’re not very good at their jobs.

The song ends, and everyone cheers. No one is going to be making any snide comments about Eric’s guitar playing tomorrow. No way in hell. Immediately there’s more song suggestions thrown out from every side, and he laughs. “Okay give me a minute. Somebody starts writing down a list. If I know it, we’ll play it.”

He takes a swig out of the water bottle sitting by his feet and grins as the teens scramble for a piece of paper to give him. “Seph, you got a piece of paper?”

I understand why he’s asking. When we were last here, I never was without paper or that little notebook. I filled it to the brim with thoughts about came and thoughts about him. But no more. So I shake my head.

Eric looks confused and troubled for a second before an actual person yells that they’ve got it and chaos ensues as everyone is yelling song titles. It takes a few minutes, but they get it together. At this rate, we’ll be here all night singing.

And honestly, as long as I get to watch him, I wouldn’t care.

16

Eric

Six Years Ago

I’m not freaking out. Nope. Not at all.

At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself in order to get my nerves to calm down. I’ll never be able to actually play the guitar if I’m so jumpy that my hands are spazzing out.

But I’m so afraid that I’m going to mess up while I’m playing for Seph. It’s crazy, because I don’t have stage fright. Playing in front of people has never bothered me. But this is Seph. And not only that, it’s the song that I wrote for her.

This is what I want to do with my life. I love making music because it makes people happy and smile. And I’ve worked really hard on it. But playing for Seph feels a little like melting in the sun. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but I told her I would.

I’m already sitting on our rock by the waterfall. And I don’t give a shit if this path ever opens again and everyone comes and hangs out and spends time here. This will always be our rock. Here. Together.

Seph comes out of the trees and she’s already smiling. Practically bouncing on her feet. My stomach drops through my feet. I’ll never doubt anyone again when they say that they’re nervous to go on stage. I swear that I never understood it before now.

“Hi,” she says.

I clear my throat. “Hey.”

My guitar is in my lap and I don’t move to touch her or kiss her because if I do that, I might lose my nerve entirely. Or get so lost in her that I just will forget what we’re supposed to be doing here.

“I’m excited,” she says, and I manage to smile.

I clear my throat again. “It’s just the beginning. It’s not perfect or anything. So if I—”

“You don’t have to make excuses, Eric. I want to hear you play. I’m not here as a favor.”

The tension in my chest releases a little bit, but I’m still nervous. I hesitate for a little longer, and Seph gives me a look. It’s teasing and playful but it’s also telling me to get on with it so she can listen.