No Tomorrow

“Hell yeah, I can. I bet you’ll play it even better than me.”

I watch quietly as he shows her how to position the harp against her shoulder, how to place her hands on the strings and pluck them properly. It’s an easy song, and she picks it up quickly and plays it surprisingly well. Seeing Blue and Lyric together is like a dream. It’s clear she likes him and feels comfortable with him. She’s not pulling away when he guides her fingers to the right strings, she’s not looking to me for reassurance. I’ve never seen Blue interact with a child before, and to be honest, I worried he’d be awkward, quiet, and moody, but he’s doing better than I could have hoped.

After the mini harp lesson, Blue plays a few songs on his guitar at Lyric’s request, and she’s totally enamored with him by the time he’s done. A few people walking through the park stop to listen to him, but I don’t think they recognize him as the lead singer of a popular rock band.

“I want to play just like you someday,” Lyric wishes out loud. “Only on the harp with the strings up and down and not across like the guitar.”

“I think you’ll be an amazing harp player,” Blue says. “You just have to practice a lot. Like every single day if you can. And soon? It’ll become a part of you.”

“Since Blue was nice enough to bring you the harp, I found a teacher for you. You can start taking lessons in about two weeks.”

“This is like Christmas!” she exclaims. “A dad and a harp and lessons. I can’t wait to tell Uncle Josh!”

Blue’s smile falters and I cringe inside. Josh might still be a sore spot, but he’s part of our lives and Blue’s going to have to accept that whether he likes it or not.

Josh and I never did go on a date. Maybe we both realized it never would have worked between us.

Or maybe it was because Blue and I have spent almost every night on the phone together, slowly falling in love all over again.

Whatever the reason, it seems that all the pieces are finally falling into the places they’re supposed to be in.

After putting the instruments in my car, we take a walk through the park and stop to let Lyric play on the swings. Blue puts his arm around me and kisses the top of my head as we watch her pump her legs up and down, soaring high toward the sky and smiling at us.

“She’s awesome,” he says. “Do you think she likes me?”

I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him. “I think she’s crazy about you already, just like I am.”

“I feel like the luckiest man alive right now. It’s like fuckin’ torture not being able to kiss you, though.”

“I know. But tomorrow night we’ll have some time alone together.”

He pulls me closer, his hand tight with desire on my hip. “I can’t wait. It’s been a long-ass three months.”

It has. We haven’t seen each other since that night in the parking lot, but we’ve shared a lot of late-night phone conversations that ranged from deep to serious to sweet to sexy. I’ve been lucky enough to wake up to a few sensual and romantic emails that have been wicked forms of teasing foreplay, which I’m sure was his plan—to make me crazy for him.

We have dinner at a quiet local restaurant, then I drive Blue back to the Marriott hotel just a few blocks from the park.

“Did you have fun?” Blue asks, turning in the passenger seat to talk to Lyric in the back.

“I did. Will I see you tomorrow still?”

“Yup. I’m coming over to your house in the morning.”

“Can I show you my room?”

He grins. “I’d love to see your room. You can show me where you’re going to keep your new harp.”

“What should I call you?” she asks.

Blue looks to me for guidance and I give him a subtle nod. I want him to be able to make his own decisions with her.

“That’s up to you. You can call me Dad…or you can call me Blue.” He reaches across the seat and holds on to my hand on my thigh as I turn in my seat to see them both better.

Lyric is deep in thought, her small mouth quirked to the side. “I think I want to call you Blue,” she finally announces. “It’s my favorite color.”

“Mine too. I’ll see you two beautiful ladies tomorrow.” He leans across the car and gives me a quick kiss that leaves me wanting more. “I’ll call you later?”

I nod, wishing he didn’t have to stay in the hotel and could come home with us but I’m determined to set a good example for our daughter even if my body is not exactly on board with that plan.