I guess he’s right. There are different degrees of being together.
“I wish Lyric was here too. How’s she doing?”
“She’s great. Staying with my parents. She brought her harp with her so she can practice every day.”
“She played for me over the phone the other night. She’s playing music by ear. Did you know that?”
“Yeah. Her teacher is really impressed.”
“Our kid is kickass.” He lights up a cigarette and leads me across the parking garage to a souped-up, black muscle car with wide back tires and a spoiler in the hood. He unlocks the door and throws my suitcase in the back, then holds the passenger-side door open for me.
“This is your car?”
“Well, I ain’t stealin’ it. Hell yeah, it’s mine. 1969 Mustang, babe. The hottest car on the fucking planet.”
Damn. Blue traded in walking for a car as hot as he is.
“Do you like it?” he asks when we’re both inside. I nod as he puts the key in the ignition and the engine roars to life.
“It’s beautiful.”
He runs his hand over the steering wheel. “It’s the first car I’ve ever owned. I’ve wanted this exact car since I was twelve years old.”
“And now you have it,” I reply, smiling with pride.
“You wanna drive?”
I quickly shake my head. “God, no. I’ve never driven anything this nice or fast before.”
“You’re not gonna crash it. I trust you.”
“I don’t know how to drive a stick.”
“I’ll teach you.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah.”
I have visions of seizing up his transmission before I even make it out of the parking lot. “Maybe another time,” I say. “I’d rather you drive.”
“Okay. You’re off the hook for now. Are you hungry? Do you want to grab a bite to eat?”
“I’m not really hungry yet. I ate something on the plane.” Something meaning two ice cream sundaes.
“You mind going to my place? You can call Lyric, let her know you’re here.”
“That’d be great.”
After some debate, I decided I’d stay at his place rather than at a hotel because I want to spend as much time as possible with him while I can. Now that I’m here, I feel a mix of excitement and nerves. We’ve never spent more than two nights in a row together, and now I’m going to be staying with him for a week. As much as I feel like I know him, it’s like dating someone new. Our relationship has never progressed to the intimacy of sharing space and it could very well reveal things we might not like about each other.
“You okay?” he asks, turning the car onto the busy highway.
I glance over at him. “Yeah.”
He lowers his sunglasses back over his eyes. “This is why I wanted you to come here. I’m not the guy in the shed or the voice on the other end of the phone anymore.”
“I know. But you’re still you. Right?”
“There’s a lot of versions of me, Piper. Take your pick.”
“Okay,” I say skeptically.
He moves his hand from the leather shifter knob to my leg. “Hey. I’ve been fucked up for a long time. High, drunk, sober, poor, rich. You name it, I’ve fuckin’ been it.”
“I know. And I loved all those versions of you, but I like you the most when you’re not all messed up.”
“Don’t worry, babe. I’m not falling off the wagon.”
I hope not.
“Good.”
“So I guess….” He moves the car into the fast lane. “Now we gotta figure out if you like me like this.”
“Like this?”
“Yeah. With cars and money and autographs and traveling and stress and interviews and all that shit.”
“That’s not you, Blue. That’s just what you do and what you have. You’re still the same guy who makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.”
“There are other girls out there?” he teases.
“Nope. None.”
“You’re the only one in my world, babe, and I’m gonna try like hell to make you want to stay in it.”
Does he have any idea what it feels like—to be told I’m the only one? Nope. I think he’s utterly clueless to the fact he gives me butterflies, makes me dizzy and breathless, makes my panties get wet. Without even trying.
“I don’t want you to try. Just be you. That’s all.”
“That’s what I’m trying to say, Piper. I’ve been up and down so many times, for so long, I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know I don’t want to fuck this all up.”
Why, oh why, is vulnerability so attractive?
“We’ll be okay,” I say softly. “It’s new for both of us, right? We just take it one day at a time and see what comes natural. No trying, no stressing.”
Nodding, he pulls his cigarettes out of his pocket and lights one up.
I see the shaking of his hand, the rise and fall of his chest as he takes deep breaths.