No Tomorrow
“Maybe he should be on some meds for anxiety? I used to take Xanax when I was younger when my boss was a total bitch to me and stressing me out all day. It helped.”
He looks skeptical. “I don’t think he should take anything like that. He has addictive tendencies.”
“Oh.” I’m grateful his friend knows so much about him. Things I have no way of knowing. “I didn’t think of that. I’m glad he’s got you to look out for him. It means a lot.”
“We look out for each other. He’s not just my roomie and bandmate, he’s family.” He grabs a stack of bowls and places them in one of the cabinets. “That makes you family now, too, since it’s pretty obvious he’s keeping you around if you let him.”
That’s music to my ears. “I’m definitely sticking around no matter what.”
Blue comes back into the room at that exact moment. “You two talking about my fucked-up obsessions?”
“No,” I say with a smile. I touch his shoulder and crane my head up to kiss his cheek. “We’re talking about how amazing you are.” I hold up two matching black stoneware mugs. “Look. They match.”
Coffee, bagels, and donuts have always been Blue’s and my usual breakfast together. Not just because it’s cheap, easy to get, and yummy. But also because we haven’t spent many mornings together. And when we did, there were very few times we had a kitchen available to us.
Suffice to say, I didn’t know Blue liked to cook, or that he’s any good at it. But he is.
Sorting of dishes and glasses aside, he’s a master in the kitchen. I watch him with a mix of pride and amusement from the table where Reece and I sit as Blue cracks eggs perfectly with one hand, whips up pancake batter from scratch, and fries sausage and ham. He puts a plate piled high in front of me that could easily rival what I’d get at a popular pancake house—complete with whipped butter and sliced strawberries.
I blink at it, wondering how on earth I can possibly eat all this.
“I had no idea you could cook.”
“This is what happens when you’re high all night, have nothing to do, and get the munchies,” Reece says.
Blue puts a plate of food in front of Reece and laughs. “That’s sad but true. I cooked, and Reece and whoever else was crashing at our place would eat everything I made. I’d watch those cooking shows on TV for hours.” He sits next to me and winks at me. “You’re finally seeing all my hidden talents.”
Reece nods and swallows. “I’d rather not hear your hidden talents again tonight, man. I could hear you guys all the way from my wing.”
My face heats with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry….”
Blue laughs. “Don’t be sorry, he’s just jealous. And payback’s a bitch. How many times have I had to listen to your chicks yowling like cats all night?” He points his fork at Reece, who leans back in his chair and laughs.
“Yowling?” I repeat, cutting into my second pancake, which is surprisingly delicious and fluffy, flavored with a hint of vanilla. “Please tell me I don’t yowl.” I’ll die of embarrassment if I’m considered a yowler in the bedroom.
“You are definitely not a yowler, babe.”
When I first arrived, I thought hanging out with two rock stars would be uncomfortable and noisy—like staying with two teenagers. I envisioned Reece having various girlfriends in and out of the house and his bedroom. I expected the rest of the band and their friends and fans to be partying by the pool. I guess I watched too many music videos and let my imagination go wild, because Blue and Reece act just like two regular guys.
After breakfast we video chat with Lyric, and my mother stands in the background behind Lyric, trying to get a low-key glimpse of Blue. Lyric tells us she’s been practicing her harp every day, and that my father told her he’s never heard anything so beautiful in his life.
That gives me hope. Maybe my father will learn to accept Blue and me as a couple in time.
Later, Blue takes me for a drive to show me his favorite local attractions. We cruise with the windows open, rock music blasting, our hair blowing in the wind. He holds my hand and he kisses me into a frenzy at almost every red light. I feel like we’re teenagers, enjoying young innocent love together for the first time, rather than two thirty-something-year-olds who’ve shared almost a decade of dysfunction and heartache with each other.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I think we’re finally, finally, getting our new beginning.
After dinner we go for a walk along the water and sit on the rocks. We kiss with the sun setting and the sound of the water lapping the shore behind us.