No Tomorrow
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yeah. When I wanted a baby, it was all ‘Ooh I’m not ready yet’.”
“Well in his defense, that was years ago, Josh. Things change. People change.”
“I guess you’re right.” He nods his chin toward the flowers. “Where’d the flowers come from?”
“Blue sent them.”
His eyes widen. “Really? What’s up with all that?”
“Nothing is up.”
“So how is he?”
“He seems really good. He called me for the first time right before you and Lyric got here.”
He crosses his arms. “Flowers and phone calls. Seems like apologies and groveling?”
I shoot him a warning glare. “Josh, we have to start somewhere.”
“Or you could not start anywhere and just let it be over.”
Ignoring him, I gently touch one of the flower petals and fall into one of the kitchen chairs.
“Piper… I’m worried about you. And Lyric.”
“We’re fine.” I do not want to have this conversation again. Or ever.
He moves across the room and sits across the table from me, making it clear we are very much going to have this conversation.
“The guy put a ring on your finger and then attempted suicide, Piper. How could you possibly be fine?”
“Because he’s getting help. He was sick and taking the wrong medication. He wasn’t thinking straight. And I’ve been in therapy, too. I feel a lot better now.”
“You shouldn’t need therapy to be in a relationship.”
“Don’t be an asshole, Josh. I was depressed, confused, and really pissed off about what he did.”
“As you should be.”
“No, you’re wrong. I really shouldn’t be. That’s like me being mad at you for being bi, and for you being confused about what or who you want. If you weren’t, maybe we would have lasted. Maybe we’d be married with our own kids right now and be happy.”
“That’s really fucking low.”
“Is it? Or is it the same thing? People can’t change who they are inside, or how they feel, or how they’re wired, Josh. That doesn’t mean they should be dumped and forgotten.”
He shakes his head at me. “It’s not exactly the same.”
“To me it is. I’m not going to split hairs with you. I accept you for who you are, no matter what. Just like I accept him for who he is.”
“But you and I are friends. You want to marry this guy. What if he does this crazy shit again? Or acts all…fucky for the rest of this life?”
I cringe at his choice of words.
“I don’t think he’ll do it again. And if he does? Or if he acts fucky as you so nicely put it? Then we’ll deal with it together, like couples are supposed to.”
He blows out an irritated breath. “You don’t deserve that. Don’t you want a good relationship for once? Ditra and I talked about this a few weeks ago. For years we’ve watched you ride this rollercoaster with him. I’m not even saying you and I should try, Piper. I understand our ship sailed a long time ago. I’m saying you need an entirely new start with someone who can give you a hundred percent of themselves and not put you through an emotional grinder.”
Did I miss the memo that the rest of the population was perfect? Maybe there’re some couples out there who have never had a fight, never had any issues, and it’s been smooth sailing for them, but it seems like most couples go through varying degrees of messy at some point, no matter how much they love each other.
“Honestly, Josh…I don’t really think that exists with anyone. Nobody’s perfect. Everyone has baggage. You know that just as well as I do. And why do I deserve better? There’s nothing about me that deserves the Lamborghini of men. I’m just a boring average chick who only wants to be happy.”
“I just don’t know why you want to be with somebody so…high risk.”
“Because I love him. People don’t have to be perfect to be loved. They can be broken and sick and messed up and ugly. Everyone deserves love. And he makes me happy. When we’re together and things are good, I can’t imagine ever being happier than he makes me. I’m sorry if you don’t understand it, or if you’ve never experienced it, but I don’t have to justify our relationship to you, or anyone.”
He leans back in his chair and locks his eyes onto mine. “You’re sure? You’re really sure you want to stick this out with him?”
“Yes,” I answer without any hesitation. “I’m positive. And I want you to stop being so negative about it. Everyone has to throw in their two cents, and I’m sick of it, Josh. Ditra, my parents, people at work—everyone keeps telling me that Blue might lose his mind, or I’m the crazy one for wanting to be with someone with a mental illness. The only person who’s supportive of me and Blue is Reece. I’d really like people in my life to be supportive and I shouldn’t have to keep asking them to. If things work out, and I believe they will, he’s going to be my husband. And he’s Lyric’s father. I don’t want him treated like some sort of criminal by my friends and family.”