No Tomorrow

The feather still hangs from his ear, but he’s explained it came from a good bird.

It’s obvious he’s not only put some weight on, but also muscle. The width of his arms and shoulders appears to be almost double what they were and I’m already fantasizing about what he must look like now with his shirt off. I’m surprised with how healthy and vibrant he looks—like one of those people who goes to the gym, gets eight hours of sleep every night, takes vitamins and drink lots of water. He no longer looks like a rock star who spent the majority of his life wasted and battling inner demons. He looks amazing and sexy and… calm. Nervous, yes, but also radiating an inner calmness.

A shy smile crosses his lips from where he’s still rooted by the door, and it sends my pulse into a frenzy. Stuck between smiling back and crumbling to tears, I freeze under his gaze. I’ve missed him so much. For months I’ve loved and hated him and everything in between. That night, he instilled such a deep fear in me. He stripped me of my trust and left me abandoned with a filleted heart. I truly felt as if he was gone and I’ve been communicating with his ghost for all these months.

But he’s here in the flesh and he’s so incredibly vivid and real. His scent has already permeated the room, enveloping me, coaxing memories out of their hiding places. The warmth of his body is ebbing toward mine, luring me.

“Hi.” My voice is a shy whisper when I’m brave enough to finally meet his eyes. The last time we saw each other was just before he left for California. Before it all went to hell. It’s been six long life-changing months since we’ve touched or kissed. The sporadic letters, texts, and phone calls we shared during that time left many gray areas that we’ve been avoiding like sink holes. That is, up until a few days ago when he sent me a text asking me to meet him here for a weekend alone to make things right as he put it.

“Hey.” He slowly steps closer to me, his smoldering eyes still locked onto mine. My heart flutters like a hummingbird as he backs me up against the wall, grabs my face in his hands, and lays a kiss on me that makes my legs buckle and steals my breath. He sweeps his tongue over my lips and into my mouth, seeking mine to dance with his. With a faint whimper, I reach up and wind my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. Forgiving him. Shaking slightly, he moves his hands to my waist and lifts me up like a doll, using his body to pin me against the wall as he kisses me with deeper desperation. I wrap my legs around him and pour all the emotion and passion that’s been bottled up inside me for months into our kiss.

This wasn’t what I was expecting, but it’s without a doubt exactly what I want and need.

Him.

Us.

This.

He pulls back and we stare at each other breathlessly.

“I love you…” He strokes my cheek. “I miss you…” He moves his thumb across my lips. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No…never.” I pull his lips back to mine and he plunges his tongue into my mouth, devouring me, sucking the air from my lungs. I grip his wide shoulders and tighten my thighs around him as he moves his lips to my neck, his teeth biting into my flesh, his tongue following. Hurting then soothing. Rough fingertips dig into my waist; he grinds his hips into mine, igniting the desire between us.

So many questions; so many things I want to say perch at the tip of my tongue…but maybe the questions have already been answered, and nothing really needs to be said at all right now.

He unbuttons my shirt with one hand while he kisses me, and I follow his lead by pulling his T-shirt up and over his head. My eyes widen at the sight of his muscular shoulders and biceps, the glimpse of hard abs.

I trail my fingers over his tattooed chest, drawn to the solidity and hardness, the new aura of strength he exudes. Once again, I’m a moth to his flame.

He pulls down my bra and sucks my bare breast into his mouth as he unbuttons my jeans, pulls down the zipper and slides his hand beneath my panties. When his fingers glide over my clit and reach my wet lips he groans deep in his throat and flicks the warm slippery metal of his tongue piercing over my nipple. I arch my back against the wall, thrusting my body up into his mouth and hand, clutching his hair.

Reaching between us, he undoes his jeans, shoves them down, then tugs my jeans and panties down just enough to bare me to him.