No Tomorrow
“What’s good here?” he asks.
“Hmm… They make a wicked good burger. And the chili cheese fries are amazing.”
His face lights up. “Fuck yeah. We’re getting those.”
“And they have Cherry Cokes with real cherry syrup.”
“Let’s get that, too.”
After the waitress takes our order, he reaches across the table and holds my hand in his. “I’m glad we did this. I’m sorry it’s not to a nicer place. Someday, I’ll take you to a five-star restaurant, baby.”
“Don’t be silly. This is perfect. We’ll never get Cherry Coke and chili cheese fries in a fancy restaurant.”
He flashes his boyish grin. “You’re probably right. I have a few more gigs lined up this month. The guy who usually plays guitar in that band is getting married and going on a two-week honeymoon, so I’ll be filling in for him.”
I nod as the waitress puts our drinks in front of us, and I immediately reach for mine, being the sugar addict I am. “That’s great.”
“At least I’ll have some extra cash for once. They talked me into singing at a few of the upcoming gigs. I know how much that turns you on, so you could come. If you want to.”
“Are you kidding? I’d love to. Acorn should be okay in the car for a few hours while I’m inside. I could check on him a few times.”
This is actually the third time we’ve left Acorn in my car. Twice so we could go inside a store and another time when I practically dragged Blue to urgent care when he had a terrible cough. Acorn was well behaved and didn’t try to dig his way out of the car or bark his head off.
“I like when you come listen to me.”
“I’d love to be there every time you play. You know I can’t get enough of you,” I tease.
“Trust me, babe. I know.”
The waitress returns and places our food on the table, and when she’s gone, I take a deep breath to prepare myself for what I’m about to ask Blue.
“Christmas is next week, and every year, I use that week for my vacation time since I never take a real vacation.”
“You should go somewhere. Like Disney or Aruba. I’m sure Ditra would love to go with you.”
I spear a fry with my fork and shake my head in frustration that the conversation has already gone in the wrong direction.
“I really don’t want to travel right now, especially over the holiday. But I wanted to ask you if maybe you want to come over for Christmas Eve?” I keep talking so he can’t say no yet, even though his face has taken on the liking of a deer caught in the headlights. “It’s just going to be my family… my parents, my younger sister, my older sister and her fiancé, and probably my grandparents. It’s casual. My mom makes homemade soup and chili and a bunch of desserts, and we open a few presents.”
He shifts in his chair and clicks his tongue piercing. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I keep the smile plastered on my face. “It’ll be nice. You can’t spend Christmas all alone.”
“I always do. I don’t mind. I have Acorn.”
“I know… but I’d really like it if you came. I want you to meet my family, and I want them to meet you.”
Taking a bite out of his burger, he shakes his head. “It’s not a good idea,” he repeats. “What the fuck would I tell them when they ask me what I do? That’s what parents do. You want your parents to know how I live? Have you told them?”
“Well… no. Not yet. I thought if they got to know you first, I could eventually tell them. By then they’d already like you, so it probably won’t bother them as much.” I don’t entirely believe that, to be honest, but we have to start somewhere.
“No.”
“We can just avoid the questions for now and give vague answers. Or I can tell them just not to ask you stuff… I can tell them you’re a very private person. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No,” he says again.
“Stop saying no.”
“No.”
“Blue… please. It would really mean a lot to me if you came. I want you be a real part of my life.”
His jaw clenches, and he lets out a sigh of clear irritation. “Do I look like I want to be a part of someone’s life, Piper?” he asks in a low voice. “I don’t even want to be part of my own fucking life right now. If I wanted to sit around with family and rock around the Christmas tree and open presents, don’t you think I’d go back home? I can’t do it. Not with them or with you.”
Leaning back against the stiff fake-leather chair, I stare down at my plate, afraid if I look at him, I’ll burst into tears right here in the middle of the diner. I never expected him to jump up and down with excitement, but I definitely wasn’t expecting his reaction to be so cold and mean.