No Tomorrow

“You wanted things I couldn’t give you. You deserved things I had no way to give.”

“Did I want to live together in my nice apartment? Yes. Of course I did. I wanted you out of the shed and in a nice, warm bed. I wanted you to have a bathroom and a closet of clean clothes. I wanted you to have a kitchen full of things to eat and drink. I wanted us to be able to sit on the couch and watch movies. I’m not going to lie; of course I wanted all of those things—that life—for both of us. Together.”

He nods, and now it’s his turn to fixate on our hands.

“But if given the choice,” I continue. “I would much rather have you in my life, than to lose you. None of those things were worth losing you over. Not to me.”

“You felt that way then, Piper. But in time you would’ve changed your mind.”

I honestly don’t think I ever would have changed my mind.

“Neither one of us knows that. Maybe I would have, maybe I wouldn’t. Maybe you would have changed in time, Blue. Did you ever think of that? Look at you now. When you walked out my door you were a homeless street musician with a couple bucks in your pocket and a lost dog. You had nothing. Now five years later you’re in one of the most popular bands in the country. A lot has changed, and you obviously did something to make that happen, and I don’t understand why we couldn’t have stayed together while all this was going on. I never would have held you back, I—”

His head snaps up. “Is that what you thought I was?”

I furrow my eyebrows together. “What?”

“A homeless, penniless musician with a stray dog?”

I shrug uncomfortably. “I guess so. Yes. But it didn’t matter to me. I loved you for who you were, and how you made me feel.”

“I never would have dragged you along on the ride to get here, Piper. You had a great job, a nice place to live, you were settling down. You had a direction.”

“So?”

“And I didn’t. I was a fucking tumbleweed, a twisted-up mess of dirt and weeds bouncing around in the wind.”

“That’s a pretty harsh analogy.”

“It’s the truth. I couldn’t be still, Piper. I know it sucks and I know it makes me a huge fucking douchebag. But at least I loved you and Acorn enough to know you were both much better off without me. And I guess it made me feel good, knowing you two were together. I knew you’d take care of him.”

“I did. I still am. He’s the best dog in the world.” Acorn has taken care of me, too. He stayed with me on the bathroom floor when I suffered with morning sickness. He snuggled up on the bed with me when I cried myself to sleep every night. And he’s been the perfect guardian and furry best friend to Lyric.

“He’s okay?” he asks with a lilt of hesitation in his voice.

“He’s great. Still dragging his penguin around.”

Relief rides out of him on a long breath. “I’m glad. And you?”

“I’m good. Still at the same company, still living in the same town. Still have Archie. Still reading a book a week.”

My heart blips when he winks at me. “And obviously listening to much better music.”

Now. Now is the time to tell him about our daughter.

I pull my hand from his and take a quick sip of water. The glass is thick and heavy, damp with moisture, and it almost slips from my trembling hand. He takes it from me and places it back down on the cork coaster.

“Blue, I have to tell—”

“You ready to order? The kitchen is closing soon.”

God. Flo is back, with her pad and pen in hand, with the worst timing ever in the history of time.

“How ’bout two cheeseburgers with fries?” Blue suggests, looking at me exactly the way Lyric does when she’s excited about something. “Like we used to?”

I smile up at the waitress. “Two cheeseburgers and fries would be perfect.”

“You got it.” She scribbles on her notepad before scooping up our menus and walking away.

“I miss it here,” he says wistfully. “New England.”

“Where do you live now?”

“Still here and there and everywhere, only different now. Mostly in buses and planes and hotels. When we’re not traveling, I share a condo with Reece in Seattle.”

I’m relieved to hear he’s in an actual residence and not living in a garage or in a cave of bats, but I was hoping he lived closer and not so far away.

“I’m so proud of you, Blue. Seeing you tonight on that stage, in front of all those people, was incredible. I always knew you were talented, but you’ve completely blown me away. It’s just… wild.”