No Tomorrow

“What do you mean?”

“Us. We could try again, right?”

“Yes. We could.” I swallow hard over the lump of cautious excitement in my throat. “I mean, I want to. Really. Things are a lot different now though…”

I place the first breadcrumb down and hope he follows it.

“I know. But we could do it. I could stay with you when we’re off tour. And we could still see each other when I’m touring. We could fly to each other.”

I went from dating a guy who lived in a shed to a guy who now tours and flies around the world. It’s hard to grasp he’s the same guy. I wonder if I would fit into his new, exciting life, or if I’d feel totally out of my element with him.

But when I move the layers of his new lifestyle to the side, Blue is the same. He’s still quiet, honest, and passionate. He still makes me feel like I’m the only woman on the planet that exists in his eyes. He walked away from a room full of paying fans to be alone with me—just like he walked away from the listeners in the park to come sit with me years ago.

In his own way, he’s incredibly romantic.

He’s still my Blue.

Having money, a band, fans, and a busy schedule hasn’t changed who he is or the things I love about him. I don’t see any sign of a man who has turned into a player or who hops from woman to woman. It might take a while, but I could accept his career and everything that comes with it as long as it doesn’t change him.

“That’s true,” I finally say. “We could find ways to make it work. Lots of people do it.” My mind tries to wrangle how I’d work that out between my job, a four-year-old, and two pets. Blue isn’t the only one who’s living a different life now. My life is completely different, too, and he knows absolutely nothing about any of it. Just as I would need to accept his new life, he would also have to be willing to accept mine.

And most of all, he would have to accept our daughter. Unconditionally.

“My drummer’s got a long-term chick. They work it out.”

We reach for each other’s hands at the same time and entwine our fingers together. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Piper. I was blown away when I saw you tonight. It’s like fate brought you back to me. I even dreamt about you a few nights ago. And now you’re here and it’s like we were never apart. I think I can do it right this time. I’m flat out with the band and writing new songs and all that other shit, but I’ll make time. I can be better now.”

“There was nothing wrong with you before,” I interject.

“No, there was and I know it. I was tumbleweeding all over the fuckin’ place. I had all kinds of shit in my head and I could never get the words or the notes right and everything else just spiraled and it was just too much and that’s why I got headaches and felt sick. But it would be better now and we could be together. I’m leaving tomorrow night for the next show, but you could come with me.” The frantic speed of his words and his overly excited tone is sweet yet equally alarming. “I’ll make sure we have a room with a big tub and lots of soap and towels and we’ll have a big bed like this one. And you can come to the show every night and watch me like you used to in the pub, remember? I used to love that, looking out at the crowd and seeing your big beautiful eyes watching me. We could have cheeseburgers every night and we can fall asleep together in a real bed, just like you wanted.” His arm tightens around me, as if he’s pulling me into this scenario with him. “We could be together again, me, you, and Acorn.”

When he finally pauses to take a breath, I jump in.

“I wish I could do all that but I have to work, Blue. I can’t just take time off without any notice. I want to. More than anything. But I’d have to put in vacation requests with HR. I have over a month of vacation time but I can’t just take off whenever. We can still make plans, though. You’ll have to let me know your schedule and we’ll see what we can make work and talk about everything else.”

“Oh. I forgot about all that.” His tongue piercing clicks his teeth. “It’s okay. As soon as we can, we’ll get together. And I can call you. Every day. I have a phone now.”

I nod enthusiastically, trying to figure out how I can bring up Lyric in this conversation without ruining the moment. “Definitely. We’ll take it day by day. No pressure.”