Rich Rancher's Redemption
Jillian smiled.
“Ah. This pleases you.” Lucy nodded sagely. “Completely understandable because he’s probably the one who caused whatever it is that happened. Since I haven’t talked to you in forever, I brought doughnuts to bribe you into telling me what’s going on. So spill.”
Jillian slumped onto the chair opposite her friend. She could pretend otherwise, but why bother? For two days now, her heart had ached and she’d been walking in a fog of misery, so why not share it with the one woman she knew would understand? “It’s a mess, Lucy. All of it.”
She reached across the table and patted Jillian’s hand. “Have a doughnut. Sugar is a cure-all. And then tell me.”
Taking a sip of coffee, Jillian had a bite of doughnut and felt the sugar rush. Maybe Lucy had a point. “It’s my fault.”
“I doubt it.”
Smiling sadly, Jillian said, “Oh, it is. I told him I love him and that’s when everything went to hell.”
Lucy sighed and took a sip of coffee. “It’s so disappointing to find out my brother is a moron.” Waving one hand in a “come on” motion, she prodded, “Tell me.”
So Jillian did. She told her friend the whole story and in talking about it, she felt as if a blister on her soul had popped and she could take a breath easier than she had all week. Finally, she said, “He told me he can’t be with me and Mac because he owes too much to you and Brody.”
“What?” Clearly stunned, Lucy asked, “What the hell does that mean?”
“He blames himself for your husband’s death.”
“Of course he does,” Lucy muttered, shaking her head. “You know, when our father died, Jesse was sixteen. As the oldest, he immediately appointed himself the ‘man of the house’ and started in on trying to manage all of us. Mom finally put a stop to that, but she couldn’t make him see that the family and the ranch weren’t solely his responsibility.” She crumbled a piece of doughnut until it was crumbs and sprinkles, then stared at the mess.
Eventually, she lifted her gaze to Jillian’s. “When Dane died, I was the one racked with guilt. If I hadn’t gone along with his idea to be a part of the ranch, he’d still be alive. If I’d moved with him to Houston, he wouldn’t have died. I drove myself crazy for a while until Mom stepped in and made me see that it was just an accident. If we’d lived somewhere else, maybe it would have been a car wreck that took Dane. We’ll never know.”
“Jesse believes he could have stopped it.”
“That’s because Jesse still believes he’s the Grand Poo-bah of the Universe.” Scowling, Lucy added, “I’ve told him and told him that Dane’s death wasn’t his fault, but he won’t accept it. And still, I never thought he’d take this so far.”
Now Jillian had guilt gnawing at her. “Lucy, I didn’t mean to make you feel badly about this. It’s not your fault.”
“Oh,” her friend said quickly, “no worries. I know exactly whose fault this mess is. Jesse is throwing himself on a pyre that only he can see. Idiot.”
Jillian laughed a little and felt better than she had in days. She should have called Lucy sooner. Should have trusted her friend to help her through this.
“You really do love him, don’t you?” Lucy’s question sounded wistful.
“I do. It would be so much easier if I didn’t.”
“Who wants easy?” Lucy shook her head. “Mom used to tell me that nothing great comes easy. So I’ll take hard if I can have great at the end of it.”
Jillian thought about it for a second. “I guess I would, too.”
“Good,” Lucy said with a chuckle. “Because I guarantee that life with Jesse will be hard. The man has a head like concrete.”
“Lucy… Jesse was very clear. He’s not interested.” And Jillian wasn’t going to wait and hope that things would change only to have her heart broken again. How many times could she recover from that kind of pain?
“Of course he’s interested. Otherwise he wouldn’t be such a bear right now. So don’t give up,” Lucy said, picking up her doughnut for a bite. “He’s not the easiest man on the planet, but I think you love him enough not to care about that.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Oh, Jill, love is the only thing that does matter.”
* * *
Jesse swung the hammer so hard that when it made contact with the post, the entire fence shuddered. Taking a breath, he released it slowly, trying to control the frustration that had been simmering inside him for more than a week. But it was no use.