Becoming Calder

I smiled at him and tilted my head, looking back at the Coke machine. "Soda," I said. "Do you want to try one?"

Calder put his hands in his pockets. "I've had Coca-Cola before," he said. "Ranger station."

"Ah." I studied him. "Let's get one."

He shook his head. "No, no, we shouldn't waste our money on this."

I laughed softly. "Calder, it's only a dollar. Let's splurge. Just this once." I winked at him. He looked so torn.

"I don't really need it," he said.

I reached in his front pocket and grabbed a handful of change, raising one brow at him. "We'll share it. By the way, I haven't had a chance to tell you how much I like you in jeans."

Calder grinned at me as I walked back to the Coke machine and deposited four quarters. The soda can dropped noisily and I bent down and retrieved it, handing it to Calder. He took it and studied it like it was a delicate piece of expensive jewelry. I grinned at him. "I take it you like Coke?"

"Coke? Is that what it's called?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's like the shortened name. It's what most people call it."

He nodded, frowning down at the can. "I feel like there are so many things to learn, so many things to catch up on. I feel like I just moved to another planet."

I let out a breathy laugh. "You kinda did." I was quiet for a second, thinking. "I know how you feel. I know I experienced more up at the main lodge, but I still have a lot to figure out, too." I held out my hand. "We'll figure it out together, okay?"

Calder smiled gently at me. "Yeah." He grasped my hand, brought it up to his lips, kissed it, and then feathered his lips over it softly. Butterflies fluttered between my ribs.

"We better get back with that ice," he whispered.

I nodded. "Okay."

We turned the corner into the small alcove with another sign for ice. There were a few small containers sitting next to it and Calder picked one up and started filling it with ice. I looked behind us and saw the small machine on the wall, holding Tylenol, Advil, feminine protection products, and, I moved closer, reading the last product, Trojan Condoms. I didn't know what those were and so I squinted at the small package. "Ultra thin contraception," I read.

Calder came up behind me. "Oh, lucky. Tylenol."

I laughed softly and then dropped the coins into the machine and retrieved the two small, square packages of pain relief, putting it into my skirt pocket.

I noticed a supply closet. "Let's see if there's something in there to use for bandages for Xander."

Calder opened the door and we looked over the shelves of toilet paper and towels.

"A first aid kit," I said, excitedly, bending down and retrieving it from the lowest shelf. "Perfect. There will be bandages in here."

"Good," Calder said. "Let's go."

As we were walking out, two girls about our age were walking in and I watched as both their eyes lingered on Calder.

I resisted the urge to stick my foot out and trip them both. Instead, I stuck my empty hand in Calder's back pocket and looked back at them and smiled prettily when I saw they were watching his backside as we walked away.

Calder chuckled softly.

I looked down at my ripped skirt, and my dirty feet, barely contained in the broken sandals and sighed. I ran my hand through my tangled hair. "Those girls probably think you rescued me out of some gutter, like some of the women who come to Acadia."

Calder leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I like my women fresh from the gutter."

I rolled my eyes and knocked softly on our hotel room door. A few seconds later, Xander swung it open, standing in only a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hot water comes right out of the faucet," he said excitedly.

I laughed and so did Calder, shutting the door behind him.

"Here," I said, handing Xander one package of Tylenol. "Take this and Calder will get you bandaged up. I'm going to go take a shower."

I headed off to the bathroom as Xander moved toward the bed. I cringed when I saw how bad his back still looked. We're far away from there, I thought. We're safe.

In the bathroom, I stripped out of my clothes, balled them up, and put them in the trash. There was a robe on the back of the door. I'd have to use that until Calder and Xander could get out and buy me something to wear. My clothes were filthy tatters. I dropped my sandals in the garbage, too, and cringed down at my feet. I washed my underwear and bra in the sink with soap and hot water and then hung them to dry.

I turned the shower to as hot as I could stand it and then stepped under the spray, sighing as the warmth cascaded over me. I washed my hair twice and conditioned it, and then sat down on the floor of the tub and used a washcloth and a bar of soap to clean my feet. Once they were clean, the blisters were easier to see, but they still looked a hundred times better.

As I sat there on the floor of the shower tub, a wave of emotion suddenly overtook me. I pictured Hailey and the four little boys I had grown to love. I'd never see them again. As happy as I was to be out of Acadia, a feeling of melancholy swept through me when I realized everything I knew and was familiar with was no longer a part of my life.

When the shower curtain was suddenly pulled aside, I squealed out and startled, scooting backward and hitting my tailbone on the side of the tub.

"Whoa, sorry, sorry," Calder said, stepping into the shower with me. I put one hand on my chest and wiped my tears with the other one. He reached down and pulled me up to him.

"Hey, Morning Glory," he said softly, pulling me into his chest. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, a new batch of tears rolling down my cheeks. "I don't even know," I squeaked. "I just realized I'd never see Hailey again . . . never see our spring . . . We fell in love there." I gazed up at him sadly.

Calder smiled gently, wiping my tears with his thumb. "We'll fall in love a thousand times again," he whispered, "in all kinds of new places."

I managed a small smile and sniffled.

"Okay?" he asked, brushing his lips over mine.

I nodded. "Okay," I whispered back.

Calder studied my face for a few seconds. "I'm going to take care of you, Morning Glory."

"I know," I whispered. And that was the thing I loved most about Calder. He didn't just protect me in physical ways. He protected all of me: my heart, my feelings, and my moods. I loved him to the depth of my soul. "I'm going to take care of you, too."

He grinned. "I know."

He kissed me gently and when our heads moved under the spray, he broke free and laughed, and put his hand out to feel the water. This was his first shower.

I turned us around so he was the one directly under the showerhead and he sputtered and grinned. His joy was contagious.

"Xander?" I asked, feeling strange he would know we were in the shower together.

"He fell asleep again before I was even done bandaging him. I think the Tylenol started working and the relief put him right out. I guess being carried on someone's back for twenty miles expends a lot of energy."

I laughed softly and nodded, picking up the bottle of shampoo and pouring some in my hand. I reached up to rub it in his hair and he bent forward so I could reach.

I lathered his hair and ran the pads of my fingers over his scalp, working the shampoo through. He moaned softly, closing his eyes. I smiled, running my fingers behind his ears and around the back of his neck. "Lean back," I said quietly.

Once all the shampoo was rinsed out of his hair, I took the bar of soap and said, "Turn around."

Calder turned under the spray and I lathered up my hands and ran them over the beautiful muscles of his smooth back, massaging his shoulders with the slippery soap. He hung his head and braced one hand on the tiles in front of him and sighed. He was wet, and hard and big. I ran my hands down his muscled backside and cleaned the backs of his legs. When I got to his feet, he turned around and I reached for the washcloth and did the same thing for him I had done for myself, washing the hours and hours of road grime off him, taking care not to hurt the wounded parts of his feet.

I worked my way back up the front of his legs, kissing the healed, but scarred skin covered by dark hair. I slowly massaged his muscular thighs and moved my eyes upward slowly. Just above my hands, he was hard and rigid, and when I leaned my head back and looked up into his face, his eyes were half-lidded and full of lust. I swallowed, standing slowly.

"Sorry," he said softly, "I can't help that. Your hands feel so good."

I lathered my hands up once more and slid them over his chest, his muscles tensing beneath my touch. I ran my hands down his arms and then brought each hand up, cleaning between his fingers slowly. His chest rose and fell as his breathing increased. My heartbeat accelerated as well.

I looked into his eyes. Taking one finger, I brought it to my lips and feathered them over it before opening and sucking it gently into my mouth. He sucked in a loud breath and pushed his finger in slowly. I sucked at it again, laving my tongue around it and closing my eyes. Calder moaned deep in his chest.

Suddenly, he brought his finger out of my mouth with a pop and took my face in his hands, bringing his mouth to mine. He plunged his tongue in and I met it with mine, swirling and tasting, bringing my arms up and around his neck. I pressed my wet body to his and moaned out softly at the feel of my ni**les rubbing against his chest. Around us the steam swirled and the water rained against the tile, blocking out all other sounds except for our mingled breath and soft moans.

Calder kissed down my neck as he pressed that hot, hard part of him into my belly, moving it in slow circles. I leaned my head back and sighed. The tingly feeling grew between my legs and my heart started beating a slow, steady rhythm in my core. "I want you inside me," I whispered. This was our reward for what we'd just endured. We deserved this, needed it.

Calder's mouth came back to mine as he walked me a couple steps back until I was pressed against the wall of the shower. I put one leg up on the small corner edge of the tub and Calder bent his legs and guided himself to my opening. We laughed softly when it took him several tries to get things lined up properly. But finally, he pushed into me and we both sighed in bliss. Calder moved slowly and deliberately. I took my arms from around him and used my palms behind me to keep steady and to stop my skin from slapping against the tile.

"You're so damned tight, so hot," Calder panted out against my neck, thrusting steadily into me. For me, this time felt much better than the first time and I relaxed into him, moaning softly as I gripped him deep inside me.

Calder took his thumb and reached down, circling it slowly on my sensitive bundle of nerves that made me press forward into him and breathe out harshly. My ni**les pebbled and I leaned my head back against the tile, trying to focus on the many varied sensations and feelings.

When I felt his warm, wet mouth cover one nipple, I gasped, hot pleasure shooting from my breast to between my legs, right where Calder's thumb circled faster and faster. "That's . . . oh, please, don't stop, it's so good," I panted. I felt rather than heard Calder's own moan as he switched ni**les and drew it deep into his mouth, sucking gently.

I had no idea where he ended and I began, only that we moved together, seeming to have melted into one unit. The heat of the shower—of him—had gotten to my head, surely. I was half out of my mind with emotion, exhaustion, love, and awe-inducing pleasure.

That overwhelming tingly feeling increased, and more intense, hot pinpoints of light grew and burst, white pleasure shimmering around me as I clenched and shuddered, and then cried out softly in his arms. Wave after wave of glorious pleasure overcame me. Calder's thrusts grew short and shallow, and I watched him as his eyes closed and his lips parted, and he looked almost pained. Nothing in this world could possibly be more beautiful. My own body clenched again as an aftershock swept through me at the sight of his pleasure.

Right then, if he had asked me to walk another twenty miles, barefoot this time, I would have.

Suddenly, he grunted, a sound somewhere between bliss and pain. He pulled out of me quickly, pressing into my stomach, and falling into me, moaning against my neck. I felt his hot, sticky fluid dripping down my skin.

He pulled back, panting harshly, and put his forehead to mine and we both just breathed that way for a minute. I'd never felt closer to Calder. Being able to make love without being found out only added to the pleasure.

"I'll never, ever forget my first shower," Calder whispered.

I laughed softly. "As far as showers go, that was a pretty good one for me, too."

Calder laughed. We cleaned ourselves quickly and then turned the water off, stepped out, and dried each other tenderly.

Calder used the towel to blot my hair dry until it was just slightly damp. I put on the robe on the back of the door and Calder tied a towel around his waist.

We didn't have toothbrushes, but used a small bottle of mouthwash provided by the hotel. Calder watched me as I swished it in my mouth and then spit it down the drain and then followed my lead. We'd have to get a few necessities tomorrow.

We turned off the light and stepped into the room where the air conditioning was on high, creating a steady hum blocking out any noise. Xander was lying on his stomach on the bed near the window, snoring softly.

It was morning, but the heavy drapes were pulled tight and blocked out almost all light.

Calder and I climbed under the blankets and turned toward each other in the dim room. Calder pushed my hair out of my face. "I love you, Morning Glory," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Butterscotch," I said back, my heavy eyelids closing of their own will. Calder's warmth surrounded me. I was finally sleeping in a bed with him. Joy filled my heart. Minutes later, I was fast asleep.