Full Surrender

“Then thank you, Danny.” She turned toward him suddenly, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for fighting for me. For other foreign travelers overseas. I’m so grateful for the job you do after seeing what it’s like over there.”

His grip tightened on her shoulder, keeping her pressed to his chest.

“You’re welcome.” He closed his eyes, inhaling the clean scent of her mingled with the night air. “It was the best thing for me.” He would have gone off the deep end otherwise, but he didn’t tell her that. Not after what she’d gone through with her mom.

But it was true. The service had saved his ass and given him a sense of purpose when he’d wanted to go Rambo on Stephanie’s captors.

“Can I ask one more question before I leave you to play your guitar in peace?” She peered up at him, the flannel robe she wore gaping a little at the lapels so he could glimpse the thin cotton T-shirt she wore beneath.

Was it still layered over a second? Or had she stripped one off as she’d gotten ready for bed? The thought heated his blood in spite of the topic of conversation—one he’d avoided discussing with anyone for years. But with Stephanie asking the questions, he couldn’t feel defensive. He only wanted her to be safe. Happy.

“You can ask anything.” He meant it. For her, he’d tear down defenses he’d spent five years building.

“When you wrote to me after my book came out...” She seemed to weigh her words, laying a hand on his chest, right over his heart. “What did your letter say?”

Crap. Sure she could ask him anything. That didn’t mean he’d be able to answer.

“It was a long time ago.” He didn’t mention that he could probably recite the thing verbatim since he’d spent more time composing it than he had on original music for the old band. “But I was basically checking to see how you were doing. Ask if you wanted to...get together.”

All of which was true.

He braced for her reaction. He’d put more of himself on the line with her today than he ever had before.

She shivered against him and he lifted her onto his lap, settling her across his thighs.

“I was so mixed up then, it’s probably just as well I didn’t see you,” she confided, her blue eyes more visible now that she was turned toward the scant light coming from the house.

He didn’t mention that her reluctance to see him made it easier for him to spend months on end at sea. No other woman had come close to Stephanie, and a couple of years ago, he’d put some effort into trying to find someone.

No one fit in his arms like this. No one rocked an air guitar like she did. When they’d parted ways before she left for Iraq, he’d always imagined he’d pick up the phone and call her after her six-month stint to explore the attraction. Neither of them had seen the need to make some big commitment before she went abroad, but they’d been young and had never imagined the way her trip would change both of their lives.

He couldn’t tell her that it had damn near killed him that she’d never acknowledged his efforts to get in touch with her.

“So it wouldn’t have been a good idea to see me then, but now it’s okay?” He smoothed a few strands of her hair that had separated from the knot at the back of her head. The silky locks glided over his skin, another reminder of how delicate she was. How soft and tender.

“Back then, I couldn’t handle any reminders of that time in my life. I didn’t see Christina for a long time, either.” Her husky voice rasped in the cool air, the admission easing some of the ache he’d felt at her rejection of that old letter he’d sent her. “Being with you would have just triggered a whole mess of emotions I wasn’t prepared to deal with.”

His heart slugged his chest, slow and steady. He watched her mouth move as she spoke. Stephanie might not be ready to let him into her life, but she’d come here because she wanted to be with him. Maybe that physical connection would have to be enough until he could convince her they deserved more than that.

“And now?” He could feel the whiskey burn in his chest. Or at least he told himself that was what accounted for the fire he felt inside.

“Now, I have too many hang-ups to let my guard down and be with anyone else. I went into pet photography because the animals give unconditional acceptance. I do fine with them, but with most people...not so much.” She traced the seam of the collar on his

T-shirt, unaware of how much she affected him. “Since I never had any problems with you, however, I thought it would be a good idea to see if I could still—” her fingers walked down his shirt, lightly skimming his chest “—find release. You know. Still lose myself completely in the moment without freaking out.”