The Love of My Bully

Pru stepped back as her mother reached out as if to touch her. She didn’t know what to do. She had every intention of leaving. Why was she making this so difficult now?

“I’ve got to go,” Pru said.

“I know what you’re thinking of doing. I can’t say I blame you for wanting to run.”

“I didn’t say anything about running.”

“You don’t need to. You’re home when it’s a school day. After the way we treated you, I would have run myself as well.” Her mother cried. “I’m sorry. I have to be strong.”

“Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Yeah, I should. Your father is going to be pissed. I’ll only get half pay but I couldn’t go to work. Not after everything that’s happened.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is. You were able to go to work every other day. What makes today so different?” Pru asked.

“You think this has been easy for me?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve hated this so much.” She stopped and Pru watched her grit her teeth. “You’re my little girl. When I had you, I promised myself I would do everything in my power to protect you, and look what happened.”

“Mom, I don’t want to talk about this. I had sex. I didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone’s treating me as if I’ve done some big country disaster. I haven’t. I fell in love.” She swiped at the tears again. She hated crying but knowing she and Drake weren’t going to be together again hurt. Her mother wouldn’t understand.

She was all alone. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Sweetheart,” her mother said. “I know you feel all alone but I can promise you you’re not. I know you’ve finally had sex and with that boy. It’s not your fault he was the wrong guy.”

“No, he wasn’t. I loved him. I know you and Dad want me to be with Sean, but he’s just a friend. Well, he was a friend. He’s nothing now.”

“You fell in love with Drake, and now you’re home crying. You can’t love him. His parents are too powerful. They have already set out a map for his life and it’s never going to include you.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you even giving it a chance? Why do you even feel any hope?” her mother asked.

“Because I love him. I love him even after everything we’ve been through. I thought it would be enough, but it’s not. Like everything, it’s fucked!” She growled out the last word. “Will you get out of my bedroom?”

“I love your father. Always have. He’s the love of my life and always will be. There have been so many times we’ve been such a huge disappointment to each other.” Her mother sniffled. “We never expected it to be like this for us. We had so many plans.”

“Mom, what do you want?”

“I get that you want to leave. I know the feeling. You think I haven’t thought about packing up my life, moving away, and getting as far away from everyone and everything as I could? I have. So many times I’ve wanted to do it. It would be easy to do. Just throw everything in a case and not look back.”

“Why haven’t you?” Pru didn’t want to care about what her mother did or didn’t do. She only cared about getting out of town as soon as possible.

“Because … I’m not a coward.”

“You’re saying I’m a coward?”

“I’m saying a coward runs away. They don’t stick around to fight. They run at the first sign of trouble.”

“So I’m a coward then. I don’t want to be having this conversation.”

“I have to admit, it’s not exactly the kind of conversation I hoped to have either. I never imagined I’d have to consider my daughter wanting to run away from me, but then, I didn’t see us working from paycheck to paycheck. I know you want to run. I know right now you don’t see any other way for yourself, or for anyone, and I respect that, but sweetheart, running is not the answer. It will never be the answer. All you will do is live with a bunch of regrets. I don’t want you to live with that.”

“You think you know me?”

“I do know you, honey. I know you a great deal and you’re not a quitter. If you run now, you’ll look back in years to come and know you should have stayed.” Her mother stood up. “You think running away means you win. It doesn’t. They win. This guy, he wins because he doesn’t have to see you for the rest of the school year. Winning is showing up. Not letting them see you’re in pain.”

“Even though I am?”

“Let it drive you to succeed. Don’t let them win. Be the one who decides when you leave or not.” Her mother stepped toward her but Pru moved away. “One day, I hope you can trust me again. I do love you, sweetheart, no matter what you decide.”