Rebel Hearts
The moan comes again, higher pitched this time with a plaintive whimper at the end that makes me worry this girl is in serious pain.
“Are you okay?” I hiss into the darkness. “Can I get you anything? Tylenol or something?”
“It’s just Sheila,” an unfamiliar voice answers. “She’ll moan all night, and not remember what she was dreaming about in the morning. I think Percy has some extra earplugs in her bag. I can try to find them for you if you want.”
“No, that’s okay,” I whisper. “I’ve got headphones if I need them.”
“Okay. Good night.”
“Good night,” I say, and do my best to relax into the mattress, but it feels like I’m sleeping on a marble slab. I hadn’t noticed how hard the bed was when I lay down—I was so desperate to close my eyes I could have passed out leaning against a wall—but now I’ve had enough rest to notice how uncomfortable I am.
Since I threw away my phone and haven’t had time to buy a watch, I have no idea what time it is, but I feel refreshed and strangely keyed up. Last night, I’d been freaked out by the taste of that kid’s shirt in my mouth and the sight of Danny unleashing his violent side in a way I haven’t seen in forever, but now the memory of how we took care of the threat to our safety makes me feel proud and…hopeful. Danny and I are a good team. Life threw a lot of shit at us yesterday, but we dealt with it and made the best of every bad situation.
I know we have miles to go and many bridges to cross before I can call this escape a success, but right now, I feel confident that we’ll get there. Together.
I try to sleep for a little longer, but when Sheila the moaner starts up again, I don’t reach for my headphones. Instead, I grab my purse and my tennis shoes and slip quietly out of the room into the dimly lit hallway. For a moment, I think about peeking into the men’s dorm to see if Danny is awake, but decide against it. He needs his sleep, and I can kill a couple of hours alone at the coffee shop downstairs. It will probably be good for me, give me time to think through the rest of the plan again with a clearer head.
I tug on my shoes and run my fingers through my hair, but I don’t head into the bathroom to make sure I’m presentable before I head downstairs. Running a coffee shop next to a youth hostel, the waitresses must be used to rumpled kids rolling in at all hours. And I went to sleep in my black track pants and a white long-sleeved tee shirt, so I look more like I’m headed out for a run than rolling out of bed.
For a second, I contemplate a run—nothing helps me organize my thoughts like pounding pavement—but I dismiss the idea almost immediately. This neighborhood is rough, and I don’t want to risk running into trouble alone. Like it or not, the world isn’t safe for a woman by herself, or even with someone, if that someone is an asshole like my stepbrother.
Alec’s face floats through my mind as I pad down the stairs, through the common room where the clock on the wall proclaims the time to be four forty-five a.m., and out the front door of the hostel. But by the time I push inside the twenty-four hour coffee shop next door, I’m not thinking of anything but how good coffee sounds, and whether or not I’ll order breakfast alone or wait for Danny to come down later.
With every passing moment, I’m getting better at letting go of the past. At this rate, by the time Danny and I reach our last scheduled stop, I will be that new Sammy I’ve been dreaming about, the kind of carefree girl who can convince her boyfriend to stay in New Zealand without making him wonder if she’s completely lost her mind.
I’m smiling as I follow the waitress in the plaid pants and bright yellow sweater to my booth. When I see the man seated at the next booth, my smile becomes a laugh. Seeing him here, looking adorably rumpled with his cheeks covered in golden stubble and his hair hanging in slightly tangled waves around his shoulders, feels like a sign of good things to come.
“Hello, stranger,” I say, leaning a hip against Danny’s booth. “Is this seat taken?”
He looks up with a grin. “It is now. Sit down, woman. I’ve got enough food coming for five people.”
“Good, I’m starved.” I slide into the booth and wave away the menu the waitress tries to give me. “That’s okay. I’ll just take coffee and steal half of whatever he’s having.”