Breaking Perfect

“Sounds great.” He was only trying to fill time with words so he could watch her to get a bead on her emotions.

She tossed the chopped egg into a bowl and faced him. Four minutes left.

“Mason, I’ll be fine. I’m already cleaned up from breakfast. It’ll take me no time to clean up from making your lunch. While Sean is getting his stuff done I’ll take care of the floors and then all I need to do is feed him lunch, check the rooms, make his bed, fix the DVDs, and run to the store.”

She continued to mix the eggs then divide the salad into halves. Three scoops from each half on two sandwiches making six total. Mason saw her do this, and would know she was compensating, but there was nothing else she could do at this point.

“What are you going to the store for? It’s Tuesday.”

“We don’t have the right laundry detergent.”

“What’s wrong with our detergent?”

“Nothing, but Sean uses a different one. I think it’s All but it might be Gain. I’m not sure. I’ll have to smell them to be sure.”

“You could ask him.”

“Then he’ll feel like an inconvenience. No. I’ll figure it out on my own. My point is I’ll be fine.” She placed the last of his lunch into the bag and neatly folded the top. “Here you go.”

Mason smiled at her but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll call you on my break.”

She walked him to the door and waited as he gathered his things. He kissed her goodbye and she waited as he pulled out of the drive. When his car disappeared she shut the door and went to clean up the kitchen, warring with the shards of disquiet that threatened to upend her efforts to take back control.

* * * *

Liberty wiped the counters, horizontal patterns for afternoon unlike the vertical design she used in the evenings and the circular pattern she employed in the morning. After preparing the small garden salad for lunch for her and Sean she carried the scraps to the garbage disposal and dropped them down the center of the hole. She hit the switch and turned the faucet on hot. One, two, three. One, two, three. A sense of completion was triggered by the second count of three. She was getting it together.

Shutting the faucet off, she ignoring the compulsion to touch the scalding flow of water, when her houseguest emerged from the other room. The foyer had been mopped and had plenty of time to dry without traffic to mark its pristine appearance.

“Hey,” Sean said as he came to sit on his stool at the counter. He seemed a bit uncomfortable and unsure, which Liberty knew was her fault. She was fighting her demons hard this morning and she refused to let them win. She was in control. She could handle herself. She just needed to focus her energy on being productive and not on the obstacles that got in her way.

“Hi. Did you finish everything you needed to get done?” She placed his glass three inches and forty-five degrees to the upper right corner of his napkin and moved to sit down on the stool next to him.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks for giving me some time.”

“I suppose you had to call out of work.”

“Well, I have a lot of personal time that’s built up over the years, so I told them after my father’s funeral I would be out for awhile. They have a new temp filling in for me.”

“This is probably something I should’ve already asked, but…what is it you do, Sean?”

“I’m a physical therapist at a clinic down in Dallas.”

“Dallas, not somewhere in Arizona?”

“No, definitely not Arizona. I haven’t lived there since college. That’s where my dad was, so I suppose it’s home, but… I didn’t need to be there.”

“You didn’t get along with your father.” It wasn’t a question. Mason told her as much.

“No. My dad was a military man who never could see past his militant ways.”

“And your mom?”

“She died when I was sixteen.”

“I’m sorry. Do you have any siblings?”

“No, it’s just me.”

“Me too. I never even knew my real father. My mother and I don’t speak.”

Sean looked at her as he chewed a bit of his salad. His full lips closed over the fork and his sharp hazel eyes analyzed her. Something had changed.

Sean had seen her begin to fall apart and hadn’t remarked on it or treated her in any significantly different manner. Not like some people. Maybe he understood. Maybe he had his own demons. She wasn’t uncomfortable as she normally would have been under someone’s scrutiny and she didn’t understand why. For some reason she was comfortable around Sean.

She assumed he would ask more about her family, but he didn’t. She was relieved. Maybe he got it, like Mason. She appreciated his sensitivity.