Not Yet

Mom and Dad make us pose for a million pictures before we finally leave and drive to dinner. The ride is eerily quiet and Lindsay does her best to make small talk that doesn’t get far.

“Are you not answering your phone anymore?” Drake asks when we finally pull into the parking lot of the restaurant.

“She was busy getting ready. Look at her.” Lindsey shocks the hell out of me when she smacks Drake right in the back of the head from the backseat. “You didn’t even tell her she looked pretty.”

Drake’s face turns to shock to match my own. I’m not sure if it’s because Lindsey smacked him in the back of the head or because it dawns on him that he hasn’t said it. He hasn’t really said anything, though, to be fair.

“Let’s eat,” I say to change the subject as Drake pulls up to the valet.

He walks around to my side and opens the door. He leans in close. “I always think you look beautiful, Ali.”

I can hear the regret in his voice and I don’t know if it’s for not saying something about how I look tonight or for agreeing to this dance. I nod. What do I say to that?

When we sit down at our table, silence falls over the four of us. I feel like everyone else knows something I don’t and it’s bothering me.

We order our food and Lindsey tries her best to get the conversation going again. I notice that Liam can’t stop touching her now. My, how the tables have turned. I also notice Drake keeps openly staring at me but not saying anything.

“What?” I snap when I’ve finally had enough.

It’s not like I can ask anything else with other people here. What Drake and I did was wrong, but I wanted it so badly too. More than anything I want him to want it and to fight for it. He woke something inside of me that I don’t think I can get back under control. On some basic level I know he can handle my body and give it and me what I need.

His hand reaches for the back of his neck and he squeezes. He does that when he’s thinking hard on something.

“We should skip the dance.” He tries to play it nonchalant as he says it.

“You can’t skip it, you’re the king,” Lindsey reminds him. I look down at my lap and play with the napkin.

What I really want is a black hole to open up and suck me in. He’s changed his mind and doesn’t want to go with me.

“I need to use the restroom.” I go to stand up but Drake beats me to it and pulls out my chair. I give a quick thanks before grabbing my purse and heading for the ladies’ room. I’m not sure what my plan is when I get there because it’s not like I can ditch Drake. I not only live with him but he drove all of us.

I’m going to have to suck it up. I’m not going to get something new with Drake. I don’t know what this was, but my heart aches at the loss of something I didn’t know I wanted so desperately.

I think I’m in love with my stepbrother and he can’t seem to get far enough away from me. He isn’t touching me like he was yesterday and he still hasn’t told me why he left like he did. When he said we should keep it a secret for now I agreed, but now it feels shameful, like I’m being hidden away. I hate that he wants to hide me, but a small part of me prays he’s only doing it to protect me. That’s the Drake I remember and I hope it’s the Drake he still is.

Chapter Fourteen

Drake

I feel like a complete piece of shit but I’m trying my best not to ruin this for Ali. She looks utterly breathtaking and all I want to do is pull her into my arms. But I can’t and it’s absolutely killing me.

“Maybe you should go talk to her,” I say to Lindsey. She nods and goes after her.

I want to be the one to rush into the bathroom, but all Ali needs now is me ruining things for her.

“You have to tell her,” Liam says.

“Fuck, this is a mess.”

Last night I went to Kira’s house and the place was packed. Everyone from our grade and several below was there and it was out of control. It was like something out of a movie and the second I got there I knew it was a bad idea. But I had to find Court and tell her to keep her mouth shut.

When I walked out back Court was next to the hot tub in what had to just be a couple of strings tied together, because it didn’t cover enough to be called a bathing suit. I kept my eyes on hers as I grabbed a towel and shoved it at her. I told her we needed to talk and she took that as an invitation to get me alone.