Restored

The space he put between us is so wide I’m not sure I do. He said the same thing about me last night. I’m the girl stuck on a guy. I’ve become that girl. I keep telling myself to move past this, but I don’t.

“He’s the one who told me to come check on you.” Roxy pushes the greasy burger towards me. “Eat.” I know I should, but I don’t know if my stomach is twisting from the tequila or from the memories of the night before. “I came and left the water this morning.”

Well, that settles that. I’m a little disappointed it wasn’t Bronx. Why hadn’t he left the water? At least he called Roxy to check on me. I ran from his truck as fast as I could. I wanted him to chase me, but again it was silly to have thoughts of him wanting to chase me. It’s clear I’m never going to be out of this loop of wanting him. Something has to change and I know that something is me. I need to leave. It doesn’t have to be forever, but for now. At least until I can get myself to move on from him and start a new chapter for myself.

“That was sweet of him,” I admit.

He cared enough to send someone to check on me, likely for my dad more than anything, which is what Bronx has been doing all along. I need to stop being a brat. That’s the reason he’s still doing it. I can’t make the man fall in love with me and I should respect that he’s trying to do something good by my dad. They were close and I need to grow up and let this go. Time isn’t working, but maybe some more space would. Bronx shouldn’t have to worry over me because I’m not his to worry about.

“Mitch said he flipped.” Roxy eyebrows rise all the way up. “Like really flipped when he heard you were on a date.”

I knew I couldn’t go home after I left the barbecue and I think my rebellion got the best of me when I picked the hole in the wall bar.

“I was lucky he came looking for me.” I admit that too.

I was stupid and reckless and went about things the wrong way. If I want to go out and have a good time, I need to make sure I’m safe and not let some random guy buy me shots. Still, it felt nice to have a man give me attention. I know how pathetic that sounds in my head.

“Because he’s in love with you,” Roxy says smugly.

“Let it go,” I tell her for the millionth time.

“He is.” She throws her French fry down. “He tells people they can’t date you, gets all pissy when he thinks you have a date, and then punches a guy over you.”

My mouth falls open. How has that not come back to me yet? He punched that man buying me the shots? The guy had it coming when I recall his comments. Then I recall mine in the car. I told Bronx I was going to sleep with that guy. It was a lie, but I was trying to needle him and see if he’d get mad about me sleeping with someone. I thought he was jealous for a moment but I think that was my stupid drunk brain imagining things.

“He called Mitch to bail him out of jail, but before he even told him he got arrested, he was making sure Mitch had me checking on you. I mean come on. The man is in love with you.” Everything she says is white noise after I hear “arrested.”

I stand up from my chair, almost knocking it over. “Arrested?”

“Well, you can’t just punch people.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal Bronx got arrested. Guilt hits me hard and I close my eyes. I got him arrested. All he was trying to do was look after me. I’m an adult. I know he feels he needs to take care of me because of my dad, but not like this.

“Where is he?” I ask. I need to tell him I’m sorry. Then I need to get the hell out of here. I’m not only messing with my life, I’m messing with his too. Bronx is a minor celebrity. I can’t imagine this will be good for his reputation. I’m pretty sure he even has an agent or something.

“Probably back from the car show. Mitch got him out early this morning.” That’s right, it’s Saturday. There’s always a car show on Saturday and Bronx wouldn’t have missed it even if he’d been in jail all night. The man is a workaholic.

I turn and go to the bathroom. I brush my hair and teeth and get myself together.