Dollars (Dollar 2)

Cracks and fissures ripped like an earthquake.

I hated how unstable he made me.

How I didn’t know what was up and down and around. I clung to him even as I tried to run. And when his fingers slid from my body, and he clutched my frame to hoist me higher over his thighs, I lost it.

I stopped thinking.

I turned catatonic with numbness while at the same time became a firework about to ignite. Two massive extremes. One massive event.

“I need you so fucking much.” His legs worked as he positioned me over his cock. His trousers were open and nothing else. Clothing hindered both of us—a prison for our bodies while I was imprisoned by fear in my mind.

Fisting himself, he angled upright and slowly lowered me down.

I couldn’t fight.

I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t breathe.

All I could do was fall forward into his embrace as my body—so well trained from years of abuse—welcomed his thick length effortlessly. There was no obstruction. No denial. The wetness only made his entry smooth rather than agonising.

My teeth clamped on his shoulder, biting as hard as I could as the tip of him nudged the tip of me and whatever lock I’d kept fastened exploded.

With a feral growl, he smashed me into pieces, tore down my defensives, and left Pimlico gaping and bleeding while Tasmin stood over her in newfound power.

The battlefield of my mind quieted as Elder thrust into me victoriously.

He grunted with primal satisfaction then thrust again, filling me so, so deep. “Christ, Pim.”

I’d never been so stretched; never been so utterly devoured.

And then the tears began.

Deep, endless black tears.

Tears turned to sobs, sobs turned to body shakes, and finally, I got through to Elder in his sex haze.

He instantly stiffened, holding me away from him to look at my face. His cock twitched inside me as disgusted hatred coated his features. “Ah, fuck.” Crushing me to him in a hug, he kissed the top of my head as if I was a little girl who’d had a nightmare. “Christ, what have I done?”

The contradiction of such comfort was negated every time his body jerked inside mine.

“Shit, Pim, I’m sorry. I…I—shit.”

Gritting his teeth, he pulled me away from him, his legs gathering to push me off.

I couldn’t bear to be tossed away after he’d stolen everything. I needed something to clutch while I became completely undone. Throwing myself forward, I gulped and suffocated in tears, drowning in every emotion I’d stopped myself from feeling for so long.

I needed his arms; otherwise, I’d die. I needed him to hold me now he’d decimated the podium I’d stood on and left me in rubble.

I had no one else.

Not even myself.

His arms lashed tight. His lips landed on my scalp again, and he rocked me like an infant. He didn’t try to pull out, and the thickness of him coupled with the heaviness of his heartbeat surrounded me until my tears became waterfalls of grief.

I never thought sex would be my undoing.

Sex had been my nemesis for so long, but I’d blocked it out.

I couldn’t block him out.

I couldn’t stop the knowledge that while he’d taken me against my will, my body had invited it.

Time lost all meaning as he rocked and murmured and gave me a place to come undone all while he hugged me both inside and out.

My hips hurt spread over his. My pussy clenched against his invasion. My eyes blurred the world even as he remained hard and completely impaled inside me.

I ceased to be Alrik’s.

And became Elder’s instead.

WHAT THE FUCK was I thinking?

How had I let myself snap so totally? I hadn’t given in to my irresponsible compulsiveness for years, and now, I’d done the worst thing I could ever do.

Pim clung to me, bawling as if I could save her from the awful thing I’d just done. I hated that she still permitted me to be her saviour while I was no better than the men I’d stolen her from.

“It’s okay.” I stroked her hair, gritting my teeth every time her body shuddered and the delicious fucking way it felt around my cock. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

I couldn’t do this anymore. My self-control was at its frayed and bitter end. I’d have to sell her or just take her back and give her freedom.

I can’t do this.

So what she knew who I was and had enough evidence to have police come knocking on my door? I had to do the right thing for once, and the right thing was letting her go.

“Pim…it’s okay.”

The knowledge I’d grant her freedom calmed me a little. If I could piece her back together now, she would never have to see me again after tonight.

Taking a steady breath, I whispered, “Sit up, so I can eh…” What? Pull out. Remove myself from you. Stop raping you.