Thousands (Dollar 4)

“I love you, Tasmin.” She kissed my cheek, her dark hair mingling with mine for a second. “Stay in touch…if you want to. But don’t stay in England if it’s not where you want to be. Travel, explore, find where your soul is happiest.”

“But what about visits—”

She tapped my nose, stepping away. “Phone calls and Skype. I’m in prison, but they allow liberties for loved ones and family. Up until now, I had no one to put on my register. I’ll fix that today.”

She blew me a kiss as the guard waited for her to present her wrists to slap the cuffs back on. “I’m so proud of you, Minnie Mouse. So proud.”

I pressed my fist against my heart to prevent it from cracking under the pressure of such a gift. I couldn’t stop the trickle of tears as she was led away.

Only, these tears weren’t caustic and burning.

These tears were fresh and mending.

I was still exhausted.

I was still drained and crippled and frazzled from the day.

But for the first time, I unbuckled a piece of my past and deposited the terrible weight. Discarding one tiny piece of luggage—throwing away a satchel or a duffel filled with screams and silence—and finally had the courage to stroll away without it.

* * * * *

I’d expected to find Elder waiting outside the room, but instead, I found a fresh-faced officer who led me silently back the way I’d come.

I couldn’t argue about being escorted from the prison on my own, but I couldn’t stomach the thought of Elder leaving without me.

Nervousness pooled in my belly. Anxious heat hissed over my skin.

Where is he?

What had happened to warrant him leaving me alone in jail?

Even though fear pressed and tiredness fogged my mind, I held my head high and followed my guide. Passing through security, I signed out and pushed open the doors to return to freedom. The irony that I’d been a captive along with my mother wasn’t something I found humorous. I had my freedom now but how long would it be until she got hers?

My heart swelled with affection rarely felt toward her.

We’d both entered this calamity and survived with different habits and become someone entirely new.

In a way, I was glad. Perhaps this new mother-daughter existence would have a much closer bond than the previous version of ourselves. For once, I was looking forward to talking to her, answering her prying questions, and remembering how to be a member of a family.

Family…

Elder.

He was my family. He was the one I loved above all others—including myself.

Yet…he’d vanished.

Squinting in the newly appeared sunshine making a last hurrah before dusk fell, I spotted a black clad figure standing beside the sedan that travelled with the Phantom.

My heart leapt then plummeted as I recognised him.

Not Elder.

Selix.

Moving toward him, I struggled to contain the worried flutterings in my belly. “Where’s Elder?”

Selix cocked his head as he opened the back door for me. “He told me to inform you something urgent came up, and he had to attend to it.” His eyes flickered with the lie. “He’ll meet you in a couple of hours and escort you to Hawksridge Hall where the ball is taking place.”

Part of me wanted to stomp my foot and demand to be told the truth. To figure out why Elder had run and left his friend to feed me fibs. Yet the other part of me understood why.

I could understand how watching my mother and me rekindle our strained relationship could be taxing to anyone. What I’d said in there wasn’t nice or sugar-coated. My tears hadn’t been controlled or pretty.

But he knew me.

He knew where I’d come from. He’d been there. He’d waded through the blood and patched up my broken bones.

If he could do all that—stand beside me unflinching until today—then what had set him off? What made him run when we’d faced so much worse together?

Perhaps he regretted doing what he did for me. Maybe he second-guessed his willingness to get involved and needed some time on his own to revaluate his commitment now he knew more.

Or maybe…he wasn’t thinking about me at all? Maybe he’d sunk into his own private agony—his pain at never having an open-armed reunion with his family. My mother had withheld her love but had killed for me. His mother had lavished her affection and then banished him.

I was so lucky.

He was still alone.

My heart twitched and tore at the thought.

I’d been so selfish. Of course, he would be distraught at seeing two people who had never been close overcome their differences and unify.

I’m an idiot.

I rubbed my chest, doing my best to calm the lovesick muscle as I nodded at Selix. “Tell him to take all the time he needs.” I placed a leg into the car. “If you speak to him between now and tonight, can you please tell him I’m eternally grateful for everything he’s done for me. That he’s my family just like I hope I’m his, but if he’s reached his limit and needs space, then…” I looked away, fortifying myself for such traumatising words. “Tell him I understand, and he’s under no obligation.”