Hot Mess
“She’s a whirlwind,” I said, watching as she left.
“She’s something all right,” Theo said, pulling a chair out for me. “Sit.”
“Well, aren’t you the perfect gentleman?”
“Shh. Don’t tell everyone. It’ll ruin my reputation.”
“What reputation?”
“The one where I’m a rough-around-the-edges gentleman.”
Laughing, I picked up my menu. “Oh, please. If anyone thinks you’re that, I’ll eat my socks.”
“Get ready to grill your socks, Elle.” He raised his eyebrows in a challenge right as Charity came back. “Charity, settle something for us. Am I a perfect gentleman or a rough-around-the-edges one?”
She looked at him, then at me, and frowned. “Child, the only thing rough around the edges about you is that beard of yours that needs a trim.”
Theo pinched the bridge of his nose.
“As for a gentleman, well I don’t know about that either,” she said with a wink tossed in my direction. “Now stop askin’ me stupid questions with stupid answers and tell me what y’all want to drink. I’m rushed off my feet.”
“I’ll have a strawberry margarita, please,” I said.
“Yeah, baby. Theo? I assume, if you’re on a date, that it’s a Coors Light.”
“It’s not a date,” we both said at the same time.
“Mmhmm,” Charity replied, writing on her notebook. “I think y’all doth protest too much.” She left with a flourish.
“Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard that quote said like that,” Theo muttered. “Not that I’m surprised about who said it.”
I fought back a smile. “She’s a human hurricane. Does she ever listen when you tell her something?”
“Well, that depends.”
“On?”
“On whether or not she wants to hear what you’re telling her,” he finished dryly. “She wants to believe this is a date, and unless you want to get into a fight, I’d give it up.”
“You sound like you have experience with it.”
“The woman has been trying to marry me off for the last four years. At least.”
“Have any of those attempts been successful?”
“Not even remotely so.” He wiggled his left hand at me to show me the bare finger. “I couldn’t be more single. I don’t have the time to date, especially not in the summer when Ari is at home.”
“Ain’t no excuses for the winter.” Charity swept back in like a breeze and set both our drinks down in front of us. “You’re just a stubborn old mule who doesn’t know a good woman when he sees one.”
“We are not doing this,” Theo said firmly.
I picked up my glass and hid my smile behind it.
“Maybe you’ll marry this one. She’s nice. I like her.”
“Charity.”
“I’m just sayin’, child, you’re not gettin’ any younger.”
“I’m not even thirty. Besides, there are men out there who are eighty who are having babies. Also, I have one.”
Charity snorted. “Ain’t nobody but golddiggers wanna sleep with an eighty-year-old man, honey.”
She made a good point.
“Unless you’re eighty yourself, but you’re probably gonna put your back out. Lord knows I did that last week planting my tomatoes.”
Another excellent point.
“Are you going to take our order? I thought you were rushed off your feet,” Theo said.
“Ain’t ever too busy to put you in your place, child. Now, whaddaya want?”
I snorted as I choked down a laugh. “I might never leave Creek Keys.”
Charity winked at me. “I bet you won’t.”
Theo shot her a look before he placed his order of the All-American burger, minus the pickles, and I did the same.
With the pickles.
Charity left us to it, sweeping away with her usual lively sashay.
“Bloody hell,” Theo muttered, fighting a laugh. “I told you. She tried setting me up with her niece last winter.”
“What? No!” I leaned forward, grinning.
“She did. She had her entire family come and stay for Christmas, and her niece had just had a bad break up. My parents were here and my mum watched Ari for a few hours. We had the most disastrous date I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Really?”
“Yep. She was not ready to date but didn’t want to tell Charity no. She basically cried for half the date, then got drunk and texted him.”
“Holy crap,” I breathed. “That’s literally Rachel in Friends before she dates Ross.”
“Never watched it,” he replied. “But that was that. I banned her from setting me up with anyone else after that because it was a nightmare.”
“I have to admit that I’d do the same thing.”
He tilted his beer bottle toward me. “Thank you. Tell her that. She thinks I’m crazy.”
“I’m not telling her anything. She scares me a little bit, to be honest.”
“No kidding. She’s like a—”
“Like a what?” Charity said, sweeping past us with a sassy smile.
“Nothing,” Theo said quickly, grimacing when he looked at me.
I hid my smile behind my glass again and looked out of the window. More than anything, I needed to break this conversation, because if I didn’t, I was afraid I would like Theo more than I should.
CHAPTER NINE – ELLE
Blaire leaned across the table, whipping her black braids over her shoulder. “You don’t have to date him. Just bang him!”