Hot Mess

The tape would always be a turning point in my life. Before The Tape. After The Tape.

I guess, now, my big choice was deciding what After The Tape looked like.

I opened my eyes and squealed.

Ari was standing right in front of me with a huge grin on her face, hugging a book to her chest. “Hi.”

“Oh, my God, Ari, you scared the life out of me.” I flattened my hand against my chest. “Are you some kind of ninja?”

She nodded excitedly. “We went to the library. Look! I got a new book!” She shoved a book at me, but I didn’t even have time to read it before she swept it away again. “And we got stuff to make calzones later. Do you want to come and make calzones with us?”

“Have you asked your dad if that’s okay?”

Again, she nodded, but this one was like those little dogs people put on their car dashboards. “Uh-huh. He said it was fine. I put extra cheese in the cart. Is that Aunt Elsie?”

I looked in the direction she was pointing. “Yep, looks like it. With Maude and Agnes.”

“Ooh. What are they doing?” She craned her neck to see.

I moved so the post holding up the top of the deck wasn’t obstructing my whole view anymore. All three set up their camp chairs like they’d used the night I’d had the displeasure of stumbling across them, naked, but they also had telescopes this time. They definitely looked like they were settling in for the long haul.

“Does your dad know about this?”

Ari shrugged. “I don’t know. They’re out there in the day, so probably.”

“Huh. A bit like raccoons.”

“Do they only come out at night?”

“For the most part.”

“Okay, like raccoons. What are they doing?”

They set up a table in front of the chairs, a bit like the kind of set-up you’d see at a bake sale, and then Agnes—easily identifiable by her bright hair—unrolled what appeared from here to be a large poster. I wasn’t close enough to make out the bold letters on it, but there was most definitely a badly drawn picture of a UFO on it.

Ari tilted her head to the side. “That doesn’t look good.”

“I know. That UFO is awful.”

“Really, really bad. They should have asked me to draw it. I’m very good at drawing.”

“I’m sure you are.”

We both jolted at the sound of a door slamming to our right. Theo stormed out of the house and onto the sand where he almost lost his footing, but he kept hold of it long enough to reach where we were and yell, “What the bloody hell are you doing?”

“Uh-oh,” Ari whispered. “He’s mad.”

No kidding.

“Come on.” I jumped up and guided her down after him.

“You said we could use the beach!” Agnes said. “Well, we’re using it.”

“But what are you doing? Why do you have telescopes and a table?” Theo threw his arms out. “Why are you so weird?”

“We’re not weird,” Maude said. “We’re awake. We see the truth.”

“Fine, you’re awake. But why is there a sign that says, “find out the truth about Creek Keys Aliens” on the table?”

“Because we’re inviting people to find out the truth,” Agnes replied. “Honestly, Elsie, how did your bloodline create someone so painfully stupid?”

Ari’s eyes widened. “Uh-oh.”

Seconded.

Totally seconded.

“Nobody on the beach cares about your aliens, Agnes. Nobody here can see your sign.”

“No, but they can.” Elsie pointed toward the group of cars that was forming on the dirt road. “We put flyers up around town.”

“I saw those!” Ari exclaimed. “Purple, with the alien head on.”

Theo did a double take. “How did you see those, and I didn’t?”

“I don’t have to drive the car. I just look out the window.”

He pinched his nose. “You can’t just invite people onto the beach. This is private property. People stay in my houses because they know there’s a private stretch of beach. You cannot have this many people on it.”

“You allowed us to use the beach, and this is what we’re using it for. Don’t worry, we’re putting up cones so they can’t go on the beach.” Maude held up a bright yellow cone that said, ‘Stop! Private Property!’

“Oh, well, I’m sure that’ll stop them,” Theo snapped, then pointed at Elsie. “This is your last time. Don’t ask again. Put out those bloody cones and tell those people that if they step on the other side, they’ll be shot.”

“By who? You can’t shoot.”

“I can shoot,” I offered. Not very well, and I’d only done it twice, but I could shoot. Technically.

Theo held out his hand. “There. Elle will shoot them. Make it happen.” He grabbed Ari’s shoulders and steered her away, back toward the house.

I followed after them, almost falling on the soft sand.

“Elle, can you really shoot?” Ari whispered.

“I can. I’m a terrible shot, but don’t tell them that,” I whispered back with a wink. “I’ll do a warning shot, like you do for bears.”