Rock 'n' Roll Baby

“You still could get hit on the head. Nick’s only coordinated when he’s on the drummer’s seat.”

“I mean, fair, but I didn’t. Why’d you name her Bailey?” That had never been a name we talked about.

“It’s a pretty name and no one around me had used it before.” Her lashes fall over her eyes in an attempt to veil her feelings. That we’d never talked about the name is precisely why she’d picked it.

A different sort of ache blossoms in my chest. I clear my throat. I wasn’t there. I didn’t have a vote and I’m not going to make my girl feel bad for any choices she made while I was playing my guitar in LA. Even if it was Brian’s mom’s name, I’d accept it. “It’s perfect.”

I cup Bailey’s tiny head in my palm and the heat of her small body chases away all the chill. “I was in the wrong, Cherry. I should’ve turned around and walked away when we got dropped off there. Then I saw pictures of you and Brian. I thought it was bullshit at first and told everyone it was but it was fucking with me pretty bad. I missed you so damn bad and hated that other people got to be with you. I don’t get home sick. I get Cherry sick. I was a mess and I guess Nick thought this was the way to cheer me up.”

“Why? We were family and Nick wanted to help you cheat?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. Nick and Benjy had seen pictures of you with Brian and thought you wanted to move on. I wanted to call you but then I realized that if I did, you’d feel obligated to stay with me. I didn’t want to hold you back. Every time I asked you to come to LA, you said no so I figured you hated it. And the road isn’t great. It’s a new city every night. My sleep schedule is fucked up. I’m miserable because I don’t have you or that goddamned teddy bear. Look—” I take one of her hands. “I never touched another woman but you. I’ve never wanted another woman but you. I was prepared to be a monk for the rest of my life because there’s no point in sex or fucking or any of that if it’s not with you. You’re right that I didn’t fight for you, but you’re wrong to think I didn’t want to. I fought for you every day by staying away because I thought that was what you wanted when every nerve in my body wanted me to get on a plane and drag you away, chain you to my side, keep you with me. But that was the most selfish thing I could do and I was already being selfish pursuing the music. But no more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m giving it up. The music, LA, concerts. It’s done. I’m here to stay with you, raise our baby, and support you. I’m going to get a job at the factory and we’ll have a good life.” I press her hand to my mouth. “All you’ve got to do is say yes.”

Chapter Thirty

Cherry

“No.” I shake my head. He’s come too far to give it all up now. We’ve been through so much. It would make it all for nothing. There is no way that I could live with that. This misunderstanding between us has already robbed us of enough time. I won’t allow it to rob us of anything else.

“Cherry. I’m not really asking. If you’re here I’m here.” Bailey stops sucking and I know she’s fallen back asleep. I stand, taking her to the bassinet. Linc watches me the whole time.

“I called.” I swallow, trying to fight the tears, needing to get all of it off my chest. I know that everything he said is true. I should have known better. Linc isn’t a liar. I could see the boys dragging him into that club because they wanted to have a good time and take his mind off things.

Linc has never even looked at another woman the way he looks at me. They always try to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice. I think that’s why him being at a strip club surprised me so much. Tangle that up with his text which came at the same time that I was viewing the Insta-story and it was the perfect mix for a disaster. It was what had sent me over the edge. Maybe the hormones had something to do with it too and got the best of me.

“You called?” His eyebrows furrow together.

“Yes, when I went into labor. I panicked so I called you. I knew I had to tell you about the baby. That me keeping it a secret from you wasn’t right. That even though I was hurting, I wanted you to know that you were going to be a dad. That we had made something special from our love.”