Puck (Broken Hill Boys 1)

Puck shakes his head, pressing his lips into a tight line as his hand drops from the back of my neck. He trails his fingers down my arm until they’re lacing through mine and making my heart race faster than ever before. “I don’t know what that was,” he tells me honestly. “I saw you come in here and I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. I had to kiss you.”

My brows pull down in confusion as I watch this incredible man before me. “I don’t understand,” I tell him. “What do you mean you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore? Why are you holding back?”

His eyes close for the briefest second and as he opens them once again, regret shines in their depths. He presses his lips to my forehead before pulling me in and holding me tight against his chest. “I don’t do relationships, Courtney, and I don’t have to be a genius to know that you don’t let guys fuck you in a bathroom and then leave. If I…if we were to do this, there’s no doubt that I’ll hurt you and despite how badly I want to take you to bed, I can’t do that to you.”

I pull back, looking up at his face, making sure I’m understanding this correctly. “What are you saying? That this isn’t going to happen? Because if it’s just a little fun, then I’m fine with that.”

“No, you’re not, Courtney. You might think you’re up for a quick fuck just to scratch that itch and get it over and done with, but you’re not, and I’m not willing to hurt you like that. I don’t know how the fuck it happened, but I care about you too much to crush you like that.”

I shake my head, unsure why I feel like I’m about to lose something that I never had. “I think you’re overestimating how I feel about you.”

He gives me a wolfish grin and I realize that I’m lying right through my teeth, though I think he knows that too. Hell, he says he doesn’t want to hurt me but is he aware that he already is?

“You can’t lie to me, babe. I see it every time you look at me. You want more and I can’t give that to you. We need to stop this…whatever it is.”

I take a breath and drop my arms from around his neck while pulling my fingers from his. I place a hand on his chest and gently push him back a step, trying to give myself a little space and appear so much stronger than what I’m feeling. “I don’t think it’s possible to stop something that never began.”

Hurt flashes in his eyes which leaves me even more confused when he slowly nods his head and walks away.

I sink back onto the wall, begging myself not to cry. That fucking stung. The past two weeks I’ve talked this up in my head, I’ve allowed myself to think that this is something more than what it is. I’ve allowed him to worm his way into my heart despite my better judgment, and I was right all along. Puck Jones was going to hurt me and that’s exactly what I allowed him to do. I guess I’m just lucky that he pulled the pin before he got any closer.

“Well, shit,” comes a voice from the other end of the bathroom. I turn to find Brylee standing at the end of the corridor, clearly having witnessed everything that just went on. “That was fucking brutal.”

“Yeah,” I grunt, unable to get any other words out as my eyes begin to fill with tears.

Brylee’s eyes widen in horror as she races toward me. “Fuck. Don’t cry, Court. Did you really like him that much?”

“I…” she throws her arms around me and I bury my face into her shoulder. “Yeah, I think I did.”

Chapter 9

Puck

I have never felt this fucking sick inside. What have I done?

I told her that we were never going to happen and it felt like the right thing at the time. I had to let her go. I had to make her see that it wasn’t right. I had to cut her loose before I allowed her to get too close. And then she dismissed me and everything shattered.

I fucked up.

What was I thinking racing in there after her? I should have stayed away and thought it through, but knowing that she was so close and would willingly give herself up to me like that was something I was incapable of holding myself back from.

It was perfect. Every tiny little movement, every little moan, every breath. It was so much more than I thought it was going to be. Courtney has destroyed me for other women and I haven’t even gotten her in bed. All I know is that a kiss like that would be enough to make grown men weep.