Lover Unbound (Black Dagger Brotherhood 5)

Blay looked over at John. "Females of the aristocracy are supposed to be virgins before they're mated."

"Times have changed, though." Qhuinn frowned. "Still, don't say anything to anyone, okay? We had a good time, and it was no big deal. She's good peeps."

"Lips sealed." Blay took a deep breath, then cleared his throat. "Ah... it's better with someone else, isn't it?"

"Sex? By miles, buddy. Doing yourself takes the edge off, but it's nothing like the real thing. God, she was so soft... especially between her legs. I loved being on top of her, working my shit in deep, hearing her moan. I wish you guys could have been there. You'd have really dug it."

Blay rolled his eyes. "You having sex. Yeah, now, there's something I need to see."

Qhuinn's smile was slow and a little evil. "You like watching me fight, right?"

"Well, sure, you're good at it."

"Why should sex be any different? It's just something you do with your body."

Blay seemed nonplussed. "But... what about privacy?"

"Privacy is a matter of context." Qhuinn got out a third beer. "And, Blay?"

"What?"

"I'm really good at sex, too." He cracked the top and took a pull. "So here's what we need to do. I'm going to take a couple days to get strong, and then we're going out to the clubs downtown. I want to do it again, but it can't be with her." Qhuinn looked over at John. "J-man, you're coming with us to ZeroSum. I don't care if you're a pretrans. We go together."

Blay nodded. "The three of us are a good vibe. Besides, John, you're going to be where we are soon."

As the two started making plans, John got quiet. The whole picking-up-chicks thing was unfathomable, and not just because the transition had yet to hit him. He had a bad history with things of a sexual nature. The worst.

For a split second, he had a vivid memory of the dirty stairwell it had happened in. He felt the gun at his temple. Felt his jeans being yanked down. Felt the unthinkable as it was done to him. He remembered his breath scratching up and down his throat and his eyes watering and how, when he'd pissed himself, it had gotten on the tips of the guy's cheap sneakers.

"This weekend," Qhuinn announced, "we are going to get you taken care of, Blay."

John put his beer down and rubbed his face as Blay's cheeks got red.

"Yeah, Qhuinn... I don't know - "

"Trust me. I'm going to make it happen for you. Then, John? You're next."

John's first response was to shake his head no, but he stopped himself so he didn't look like an idiot. He was already feeling behind the eight ball, all small and unmanly. Turning down an offer to get laid would put him solidly in Loserland.

"So we got a plan?" Qhuinn demanded.

As Blay fiddled with the bottom of his T-shirt, John got the distinct impression the guy was going to say no. Which made John feel so much better -

"Yeah." Blay cleared his throat. "I... ah, yeah. I'm, like, juiced as shit. It's almost all I can think about, you know? And it's, like, painful, for real."

"I know exactly what you mean." Qhuinn's mismatched eyes sparkled. "And we are going to have us some good times. Shit, John... will you tell your body to get its groove on?"

John just shrugged, wishing he could leave.

"So, time for some 'sKillerz'?" Blay asked, nodding to the Xbox on the floor. "John's going to beat us again, but we can still fight for number two."

It was a royal relief to get focused on something else, and the three of them got wound up by the game, yelling at the TV, throwing candy wrappers and beer caps at one another. God, John loved this. On the video screen they competed as equals. He was not small and left behind; he was better than they were. In sKillerz, he could be the warrior he wanted to be.

As he tanned their hides, he looked over at Blay and knew the guy had picked this game specifically to make John feel better. But then, Blay tended to know where people were in their heads, and how to be kind without embarrassing someone. He was an excellent friend.

Four six-packs, three trips to the kitchen, two full games of sKillerz, and a Godzilla movie later, John checked his watch and got off the bed. Fritz would be coming for him soon, because he had an appointment at four a.m. every night that he had to make or he was kicked out of the training program.

See you tomorrow in class? he signed.

"Good deal," Blay said.

Qhuinn smiled. "IM later, k'ay?"

Will do. He paused at the door. Oh, hey, meant to ask.

He tapped his eye and pointed to Qhuinn. What's up with the shiner?

Qhuinn's stare stayed absolutely steady, his smile bright as ever. "Oh, it's nothing. Just slipped and fell in the shower. Really stupid, huh."

John frowned and glanced at Blay, whose eyes hit the floor and stayed there. Okay, something was -

"John," Qhuinn said firmly, "accidents happen."

John didn't believe the kid, especially given that Blay's peepers were still down for the count, but as someone who had his own secret he wasn't into the prying thing.

Yeah, sure, he signed. Then he whistled a quick goodbye and took off.

As he closed the door, he heard their deep voices and put his hand on the wood. He wanted to be where they were so badly, but the sex stuff... No, his transition was about becoming male so he could avenge his dead. It was not about banging chicks. Matter of fact, maybe he should take a page from Phury's book.

Celibacy had plenty of things to recommend it. Phury had been abstaining for, like, ever, and look at him. He was totally tight in the head, a real together kind of guy.

Not bad footsteps to follow in.

Chapter Five

"You're going to be the what?" Butch blurted.

As he looked at his roommate, Vishous could barely choke out the f**king word. "The Primale. Of the Chosen."

"What the f**k is that?"

"Basically, a sperm donor."

"Wait, wait... so you're going to do, like, IVF?"

V dragged a hand through his hair and thought how good it would feel to put his fist through the wall. "It's a little more hands-on than that."

Speaking of hands-on, it had been a long time since he'd had straight sex with a female. Could he even get off during the formal, ritualistic sex of the Chosen?

"Why you?"

"Has to be a member of the Brotherhood." V paced around the dark room, figuring he'd keep his mother's identity under wraps a little longer. "It's a small pool to choose from. One that's getting smaller."

"Will you live over there?" Phury asked.

"Live over where?" Butch cut in. "You mean you won't be able to fight with us? Or, like... hang?"

"No, I made that a condition of the deal."

As Butch exhaled in relief, V tried not to get sapped out that his roommate cared about seeing him as much as he cared about being seen.

"When does it happen?"

"Few days."

Phury spoke up. "Does Wrath know?"

"Yup."

As V thought about what he'd signed on for, his heart started kicking in his chest, a bird flapping its wings to get out of his rib cage. The fact that he had two of his brothers and Rehvenge giving him the hairy eyeball made the panic worse. "Listen, you mind excusing me for a while? I need to... shit, I need to get out."

"I'll go with you," Butch said.

"No." V was in a desperate frame of mind. If there was ever a night he might be tempted to do something grossly inappropriate, it was now. Bad enough what he felt for his roommate was an unspoken undercurrent; making it a reality by acting on it would be a catastrophe neither he, Butch, nor Marissa could handle. "I need to be by myself."

V shoved the godforsaken pendant back in his ass pocket and left the crushing silence of the office. As he fast-tracked it out the side door into an alley, he wanted to find a lesser. Needed to find one. Prayed to the Scribe Vir -

V stopped dead. Well, shit. He sure as hell wasn't praying to that mother of his anymore. Or using that phrase.

God... damn.

V settled back against the cold brick of ZeroSum's building, and, much as it pained him, he couldn't help but think back to his life in the warrior camp.

The camp had been situated in middle Europe, deep in a cave. Some thirty soldiers had used it as a home base, but there had been other residents. A dozen pretrans had been sent there for training, and another dozen or so whores fed and serviced the males.