Lover Enshrined (Black Dagger Brotherhood 6)

"I was tired. He helped me up the stairs. Cormia started here as a babysitter, but now I think she's staying because she's kind of enjoying herself, aren't you? Or at least she was, right?"

Cormia nodded, but didn't take her eyes off the Brother. With his scarred face and his huge body, he'd always made her feel uncomfortable, not because he was ugly in any way, but because he appeared so fierce.

Zsadist looked over at her, and the oddest thing happened. He spoke in a shockingly kind voice and raised his hand as if to calm her.

"Easy, now. I'm sorry I scared you." His eyes gradually turned yellow and his face softened. "I'm just worried about my shellan. I'm not going to hurt you."

Cormia felt the tension in her release and found herself understanding better why Bella was with him. With a bow, she said, "Of course, your grace. Of course you are worried for her."

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, looking at her hellren's black-stained clothes. "Is everyone in the family okay?"

"The Brothers are all fine." He went over to his shellan and touched her face with a hand that shook. "I want Doc Jane to have a look at you."

"If that would make you feel better, by all means, have her come. I don't think there's anything wrong, but I want to do whatever makes you feel more comfortable."

"Is it the spotting again?" Bella didn't answer. "I'll go get her - "

"It's not much, and it's nothing different from what I've had before. Doc Jane would probably be a good idea, except I doubt there's anything to be done." Bella turned her lips to his palm and kissed him. "But first, please tell me what happened tonight?"

Zsadist just shook his head, and Bella closed her eyes, as if she were used to getting bad news... as if she had gotten it so often that words about the exact situations were no longer needed. Speech could add nothing to her sadness or his. Nor could it relieve what they clearly felt.

Zsadist dipped his head and kissed his mate. As their eyes met, the love between them was so intense, it created an aura of warmth Cormia could swear she felt from over where she was standing.

Bella had never shown this kind of connection with the Primale. Ever.

Nor, for that matter, had he toward her. Although perhaps that was just out of discretion.

Zsadist said a few quiet words, then left as if he were on the prowl, brows down, heavy shoulders set like beams for a house.

Cormia cleared her throat. "Would you like me to get Fritz for you? Or put your order in for a repast?"

"I think I'd better wait, if Doc Jane's going to examine me." The female's hand crept up onto her belly and moved in slow circles. "Would you like to come back and watch the rest of the shows with me later?"

"If you'd like - "

"Absolutely. You're very good company."

"I am?"

Bella's eyes were impossibly kind. "Very. You make me feel calm."

"Then I shall be your birth companion. Where I'm from, a pregnant sister always has a birth companion."

"Thank you...thank you very much." Bella turned away as fear speared into her eyes. "I'll take any help I can get."

"If I may," Cormia murmured, "what worries you most?"

"Him. I worry about Z." Bella's eyes swung back. "Then I worry about my young. It's so strange. I don't worry about me all that much."

"You are very brave."

"Oh, you don't see me in the middle of the day in the dark. I fall apart plenty, trust me."

"I still think you are brave." Cormia put her hand on her flat stomach. "I doubt I could be so courageous."

Bella smiled. "I think you're wrong about that. I've watched you these past months, and there's an incredible strength in you."

Cormia wasn't so sure about that. "I do hope the examination goes well, and I'll come back later - "

"You don't honestly think it's easy to be what you are, do you? To live under the kind of pressures the Chosen have to? I can't imagine how you deal with it, and I have tremendous respect for you."

All Cormia could do was blink. "You... do?"

Bella nodded. "Yeah, I do. And you want to know something else? Phury's lucky to have you. I'm just praying he figures that out sooner rather than later."

Dearest Virgin Scribe, that was not something Cormia had ever expected to hear from anyone, much less Bella, and her shock must have shown because the female laughed.

"Okay, I've made you feel weird, and I'm sorry. But I've wanted to say that to the both of you for the longest time." Bella's eyes shifted over to the bathroom, and she took a deep breath. "Now I guess you'd better go so I can get ready for Doc Jane and her poking. Love that female, I really do, but man, I hate when she snaps on those gloves of hers."

Cormia said a good-bye of sorts and left for her own bedroom, deep in thought.

When she turned the corner next to Wrath's study, she stopped. As if she'd summoned him, the Primale was at the head of the great stairwell, looming large and looking exhausted.

His eyes clung to her.

He must hunger for news of Bella, she thought. "She's feeling better, but I think she's hiding something. The Brother Zsadist has just gone for Doc Jane."

"Good. I'm glad. Thank you for watching over her."

"It was my pleasure. She's lovely."

The Primale nodded; then his eyes traced over her from her hair, which was up high on her head, to her bare feet. It was as if he were reacquainting himself with her, as if he hadn't been around her for ages.

"What ugliness have you witnessed since you left?" she whispered.

"Why do you ask?"

"You stare at me as if it has been weeks since you saw me. What have you seen?"

"You read me well."

"About as well as you avoid my question."

He smiled. "Which would be very well, huh."

"You don't have to speak of - "

"I saw more death. Avoidable death. Such a damn waste. This war is evil."

"Yes. Yes, it is." She wanted to take his hand. Instead, she said, "Would you... join me in the garden? I was going to walk among the roses for a bit before the sun comes."

He hesitated, then shook his head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"Of course." She bowed to avoid his eyes. "Your grace."

"Be careful."

"I will." She gathered her robing and walked quickly to the stairs he had just mounted.

"Cormia."

"Yes?"

As she looked over her shoulder, his eyes bored into hers. They burned in a way that took her back to the two of them on the floor in his bedroom, and her heart leaped to her throat.

Except then he merely shook his head. "Nothing. Just stay safe."

As Cormia went down the stairs, Phury headed for the hall of statues and the first of the windows that looked out over the back garden.

Going with her to see the roses was so not an option. He was raw right now, stripped of his skin, though he still wore his suit of flesh. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw those bodies in the clinic's corridor and the scared faces in that medicine closet and the bravery of those who shouldn't have had to fight for their lives.

If he hadn't stopped to help Bella up the stairs and then gone to find Zsadist, maybe those civilians wouldn't have been saved. Sure as hell, no one would have called him as backup, because he wasn't a Brother anymore.

Down below, Cormia emerged on the terrace, her white robe glowing against the dark gray stone pavers. She drifted over to the roses and bent at the waist to bring her nose to the blooms. He could almost hear her breath going in and the sigh of contentment she'd release as the fragrance registered.

His thoughts shifted from the ugliness of war to the beauty of the female form.

And to what males did with females in between satin sheets.

Yeah, it was a big no on being around Cormia right now. He wanted to replace the death and suffering he'd seen tonight with something else, something alive and warm and all about the body, not the head. As he watched his First Mate lavish her attentions on the rosebushes, he wanted her naked and writhing and slick with sweat underneath him.

Ah... but she wasn't his First Mate any longer, was she.

Shit.

The wizard's voice drifted through his head. Could you honestly have done right by her, though? Made her happy? Kept her safe? You spend a good twelve hours a day smoking. Could you light up blunt after blunt in front of her and have her watch you wilt into your pillows and nod off? You want her to see that?