Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"Lexi. It's my birthday. This couldn't have waited until tomorrow?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest and standing before her. His stance made him appear distant and unapproachable…not the way she typically viewed Jack.

"No. I don't think that's such a good idea," she told him hesitantly.

"Well I do. I don't have time for this right now." The words came out but he didn't move. She felt as if he had said that he didn't have time for her rather than time for this…whatever this was. He had no clue what she wanted to talk to him about unless he knew how she was feeling. But she highly doubted that, since he was the one screwing with her emotions.

"Well make time. I need to ask you some questions," she told him firmly.

"Now?" he whined. "It's my birthday."

"It's past midnight," she told him checking her watch just to verify. Actually, when she looked down, she noticed that it was twenty minutes until midnight, but she didn't mention that fact.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Ask away."

"Is this still what you want?" she asked her voice trembling.

"Lex, baby," he murmured taking her in his arms and hugging her against him, "didn't I tell you that you are what I want?"

She sighed against his body. She didn't like that he was evading her question with another question. Why couldn't he just answer straight up? "That's what you said three days ago, but Jack I'm leaving in two days. What are we going to do after that?"

"We'll work it out. I just need time. You have to understand. Bekah and I," he sighed trailing off.

"I do understand that you have been together for some time…without my distraction. But how can I be sure that I'm not just that…a distraction?" she asked her eyes pleading with him. She had never felt so rigid against his body. He wasn't calming her as he usually was. In fact, the way his body language read, he was only causing her more grief. Even his baby blue eyes, which normally held so much warmth and desire when cast upon her, were almost icy. She didn't know what was going on.

"You have to just trust me. I've never lied to you before," he muttered glancing towards the door.

"Jack, what's wrong with you?" she whispered staring up into his blank face.

When he next looked back at her, the Jack she knew and loved had returned. His eyes looked hungry. It was a look she knew well. His body had relaxed into her even pressing her closer to his. She had to gasp just to breathe properly with how wildly her emotions were being pushed around. One minute he was icy cold and the next he was on fire. She couldn't keep up.

"Nothing is wrong with me," he spat the words out.

"I just mean the way you were looking at me…" She shuddered.

"Lexi, really I don't have time for this," he said eyeing the door again. "I really need to get back inside." He began to walk away from her back towards the door. She knew she had kept him out here too long, but he hadn't answered any questions. He hadn't done anything but shift moods too frequently for her to count.

"I thought things were going to be different," she muttered stopping him with his hand on the door. She just couldn't help herself. She needed to know what was going on, and if the only way to do that was to elicit a reaction from him, then so be.

He turned and faced her. "Things are different."

"It doesn't feel like it. It feels just like every other time." Hurt crossed his features at her accusation.

"Look just get off my case," he said turning back towards the door.

"You can't even look at me," she cried knowing she was being completely unreasonable. She just felt as if she were about to burst. She couldn't think of another way to get through to him. All she needed was some sort of answer one way or the other. A part of her knew that she wasn't being fair. He deserved time to figure out what to do about Bekah. Another part of her thought she had given him enough time over the past six years to figure out if he wanted another girl or not and that she needed an answer.

He turned around and walked slowly back to her standing only inches away from her, but not touching. "There I'm looking at you," he said his blue eyes staring purposely into her brown ones.

"You'll never change," she snarled. She couldn't believe the words had come out of her mouth. She had been thinking them all along, but the words struck too close to home for their relationship.

"Maybe I already have," he growled back walking forward and pushing her forcefully against the cement wall. His hand reached down, hitched her left leg up around his waist, and pushed himself against her. She could feel his erection jumping to life as the adrenaline pumped through their bodies. Her black silk thong brushed against the crotch of his charcoal suit pants causing both of them to shudder with desire.

His blue eyes thawed upon catching her gaze. He leaned forward, pressed his free hand against her bare neck pulling her head away from the concrete barrier, and brought her face less than an inch from his own.

"Uh Jack," she whispered unable to break his steady gaze. He leaned forward his breathe hot on her face. For a split second, she could see herself giving into him right then and there. She could break down all those walls of sexual tension and give him back the control he so obviously desired. It would be so easy just to let go. He was what she wanted after all. Why did it have to be wrong to get what you want?

"Shh," he said covering her mouth with his own. He let the kiss be soft, yet urgent. She sighed against his lips letting them part and his tongue to enter her mouth. The kiss turned feverish and she found that she had pushed her fingers up through his thick hair pulling him closer to her. His desire was growing every second he stood with her opening close to him. She couldn't even think properly with the way he had her positioned. His hand had pushed the red material of her dress away from her thigh, cupped her bare ass, and hoisted her other leg up around his waist. He pushed against her then slowly, almost teasingly rubbed himself against her.

Lexi groaned not sure how they had ended up in this position, but she didn't care. She had resisted him so long, and it was just painful to stay away from him. Even when her mind allowed her the moments where she wasn't thinking of him, he was always there in the back of her mind. And here, in the present, she couldn't imagine anywhere else she wanted to be.