Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"I'm not getting this out right. It's kind of hard to explain. Do you have a minute?"

She glanced around her tiny room watching as specks of light began to filter in through the window. She visualized her planner, which was filled to the brim with meetings and luncheons Monday through Friday, and then her measly Saturday with only a haircut for company. All she had was time. "It's six o'clock in the morning. No sane person has plans this early on a Saturday. Go ahead Jack," she said letting his name roll off her tongue the same way he had…she stopped herself. No point in letting her mind venture there.

"Are you sitting down? This is kind of a strange story."

"Uh…yeah I am," she said glancing around her tiny apartment. Her bedroom walls were covered in cracking soft green paint that had probably been there since the dawn of time, and a collage of hooks and holes from previous tenants. Her floor was scattered with dirty laundry and destroyed textbooks. The sparse amount of furniture she had been able to haul up the seven daunting flights of stairs still managed to make the space look cluttered, something she had never quite been able to figure out. "So…uh…what is this strange story?"

"Okay well just hear me out, because I promise I wouldn't have called and bothered you if it wasn't for a reason I thought was worthwhile." He sucked in a long deep breath before continuing. "I've been dating this girl back home for nearly a year and a half," he began coughing a little at the length of time that they had been together. "She's really great. Actually, I think ya'll would get along. Anyway, she is really into uh…marriage. She talks about marriage all the time. It's like the girl was born to get married," he said all in rapid succession. "And…well…you know me."

She did know him. He despised the idea of marriage. The idea of being tied down to one person suffocating under the monogamous bonds forced upon you by a legally binding document. Knowing that after that moment, there was no turning back except, of course, for divorce. She was pretty sure that the only thing he hated more than marriage was the idea of divorce. Breaking up was disparaging enough without the added effect of divvying up possessions, possibly children, moving out, starting a new life, and not to mention court fees, custody battles, and worst of all, lawyers. She giggled a little on the inside at that last thought. "Yeah, I know. Mr. Anti-Commitment," she said only half-joking.

He breathed out heavily. "Well now that you mention that, that's kind of what it all boils down to."

"What? The fact that you have the capability of convincing and persuading women for an indefinite amount of time to hold out for you until you break their hearts?" she asked coldly. Really, she had no idea where this was leading. Why was he talking to her, of all people, about possibly marrying his girlfriend? He hadn't spoken to her in ages, and she was pretty sure her opinion on marriage was irrelevant to his decision. After all, her opinions on relationships, in general, had always been irrelevant.

"Yeah," he replied very softly into the phone. She almost hadn't heard him. "Yeah, that's what this is about." She waited for him to elaborate. After a brief pause, he began to explain the mess he had gotten himself into. "My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to marry her. Not like a proposal or anything," he quickly corrected, "more like a question to see where our relationship was headed. I didn't have an answer for her. I mean what kind of guy has an answer for that? But as you know…I mean because of my parents…the thought of marriage tends to make me run head first in the opposite direction. She pinned me down though, and said she would leave me that second if I didn't have an answer for her. That really took me off guard."

Lexi felt like she was sitting on the edge of her seat about to witness a train wreck. Any girl who had ever tried to pin him down for anything experienced instant rejection like a blow to the face.

"So I told her that was what I wanted."

"What?" she couldn't help asking helplessly into the phone. "You told her you wanted to marry her?" Her mouth was dropped open forming a little oh of disbelief.

He chuckled a little at her reaction. "I told her that I could see myself marrying her, but that I didn't want to commit to it just yet especially since we had only been dating for a year and a half. Luckily, she took that as a positive answer and didn't break up with me. Then comes the part of the story where you come in."

"Me? I don't see how I could possibly come into a story about you marrying someone else. What we went through wasn't exactly marriage potential Jack. It's not like I can tell you what you should do in the situation," she said jumping the gun before she would let him ask for any advice.

"No, Lexi" he chuckled softly, "she wants to meet you."

This, however, was not something she had been prepared for. "Jack, I'm really confused here. I think I must have missed something. The girl that you are dating that you want to marry wants to meet me. Why? I'm so…insignificant," she said trying to be earnest and sincere. She couldn't even think about the different times her and Jack had tried to find the time to form some semblance of a relationship. Nothing had ever worked, and the last time… She stopped herself again from entertaining the thought. The hole that Jack had been left still ached when prodded, and she avoided irritating the wounded feeling that crept through her.

"Don't say that. You know you're not insignificant." She let silence settle between them not wanting to be the first to speak next. After awhile of listening to her breathe heavily, he spoke again. "Anyway, she got this idea in her head that she wants to meet every girl that I've dated for any significant amount of time. She wants to find out why I was unable to commit to them so that she can figure out why I'm not committing to her or so she thinks. And don't go saying that this doesn't apply to you either because we didn't date. I never mentioned you to her, but she heard about you from Kate."

Lexi recoiled at the mention of Jack's ex-girlfriend. "So by the way you say that, I'm guessing you actually went through with this insane decision. You are letting this girl pick and pry through your past just so that you don't have to commit to marrying her right now?" This was low…even for him.

"It's not like that," he stated defensively. "I let her talk to them, because I wanted to show her that I had nothing to hide. Well when Kate mentioned you and I didn't, you can guess that she wasn't terribly happy."