Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

Spencer would never understand. Sure he acted goofy and played everything off like it was a joke, but she knew that he would see more into it. And there wasn't more to it. At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

"So what do you say Lex? You'll come over?" he asked persuasion etched in every line.

She sighed heavily weighing her options. Spencer was also out of town for the weekend. His great-aunt something-or-other from some no name city in Vermont was visiting his parents, and he was obligated to entertain her. She hadn't been too keen on the details. No matter how many times he had argued with his parents about having previous arrangements. It hadn't work, and she couldn't accompany him. His family was really old fashioned. He would be none the wiser if she happened to spend a few hours of her afternoon at an old friend's house. Then again, she felt guilty enough for not telling him about the phone conversations and text messages. How would she feel if she spent time with him? A knot formed at the pit of her stomach and she felt her heart begin to race.

"Just to talk?" she peeped, already knowing his answer.

"Of course, if that's what you want," he added.

"You can keep your hands to yourself?" she practically whispered into the other line. She glanced around the nearly empty aisle checking for people she knew or potential eavesdroppers...anyone at all that looked suspicious. If she found one person, she'd turn him down flat. But she didn't find anyone.

"I can if you can," he deadpanned.

"Well I don't know," she said prolonging the moment.

"You don't know if you can keep your hands to yourself?" he asked with a chuckle. "You should definitely come over."

"Oh, ha. Ha. I don't know if I should come over."

"Lex, I already told you I just want to spend a little time with you. I know you want to come over, and there's no reason for you not to. If one of your other guy friends asked you to hang out right this instant, what would you tell him?" She remained silent. He knew what she was thinking regardless. There would be no reservations in going to hang out with another guy. Any other guy wasn't Jack. Plain and simple. "That's what I thought. So, come see me."

"You know what. Fine. Whatever. If you say we're just going to sit around and talk and hang out, then I'll come over. But only if you tell me how you knew I'd be at Chamber," she said giving into him.

"Okay, that's an easy one," Jack said coolly.

Just then, Lexi's phone began to beep in her ear. "Hold that thought," she said, glancing down at the number that beeping into the line. She sighed heavily swearing escaping her lips as she read the name.

"Hey, can I call you back?" she asked Jack impatiently. "I have to take this call."

"You're still coming over right?"

"Sure. And you will finish your story there."

"Alright see you soon."

Lexi clicked over to the other line. "Hey baby," she trilled into the phone. "How's hanging out with the fam?"

"It's so dull without you here," Spencer complained. "Maybe I could still convince them to let you come up here and visit."

Lexi giggled. "In what lifetime? Your sister got married last year, and they still have trouble letting her husband come to family events."

"You're right dear. I wish I could fix things."

She waved the comments off. No need for him to be even sweeter than normal. That would just make her feel worse. "Nothing to fix. Your family is the way it is. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Well I don't agree with you on that, but I appreciate it. It would make me feel better if you were with me though. There's only so much family backgammon I can take," he said chuckling heartily. "So what are you doing? Have any big plans for the evening? Weekend get-away while I'm not in town?"

Lexi stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the frozen food section. Did he know about her plans? She shook her head. Of course, there was no way for him to know. She had just decided herself, and she would never let anyone else know. She steadied herself on the shopping cart and let her breath even out. "Nope. I'm probably just going to be boring while you're gone. Hang out with Olivia. Finish my Spinoza reading. Stuff like that," she said terrified that guilt was creeping into her voice and he would notice.

"Aww…baby…you don't have to do nothing just because I'm gone. You know what?"

"No," she croaked.

"I want you to have a good time; a really good time while I'm gone. It's my fault you're all by yourself this weekend. I feel obligated to tell you that you need to do something fun and crazy. I don't want you sitting at home doing homework on a Friday night."

"I…well…"

"Nope. That's final. If you don't have a good time tonight, then I'm the one to take the blame. So go home put on something cute, and have fun tonight okay?"

"Okay," she mumbled half-heartedly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not there," he moaned, misinterpreting her guilty conscience.

"It's…it's fine. You have family stuff."

"I just wish I could be there with you, but you still have to take my advice. I'll call you tomorrow to find out how your night went, and you better tell me just how great it was okay? I've gotta go though. I love you. Bye."

Spencer hung up so fast he didn't even hear her whispered good-bye or the fact that she completely neglected saying I love you too.

Lexi tucked her phone back into her pocket. She felt worse about going to see Jack now that she had spoken with Spencer. He wanted her to have a good time, and she would if she actually went to Jack's house. It just wouldn't be the kind of fun that would be in her best interest, or her relationship's best interest. She couldn't go see him. He had promised they would just talk, but she just couldn't do it. The thing she remembered the most about visiting Jack was the feeling of having no control. Her actions were compelled by him. She was compelled by him. Every time she found herself in his presence, she acted as if she was possessed. It was easy to conjure up how she had felt when she had been so enraptured in him that she could hardly sleep at night. But she couldn't let herself go there again. Her temples began to pulse painfully as she contemplated her options.