Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding 2)
"I remember telling him he was a spoiled rich brat who would only ever amount to as much as daddy's money allowed. Then I left, and as he slammed the door behind me he told me never to come back," she said a tear falling slowly down her right cheek.
Lexi gulped hard her coffee long forgotten. "Is that how it ended?" she couldn't help asking.
"I wish," she said meeting Lexi's chocolate brown eyes. Lexi couldn't imagine it getting any worse. "If only I'd known then what I know now," she said forlornly. "I was pregnant."
Lexi gasped her chest beating frantically as the pieces fell together. Of course she had been sick, throwing up, her emotions rampant. It all made sense. He hadn't known. How could he have known? "Did you tell him?"
"It is my greatest regret that I did not," she stated sadly licking her dry lips. "I was angry. I couldn't forgive the things he had said to me. I was only nineteen after all…still too young…for everything."
Lexi stilled as the realization hit her. Ramsey could have a child with the woman sitting in front of her. "He has a baby?" she asked.
Tears really did spill forth from her eyes at that statement. "No," she breathed. "I finished my exams, transferred back home to Emory. By then I knew for certain and even if I tried to hide it, the baby was alive inside of me and growing every day. The last thing I wanted was for him to know. I hid it from everyone. I only left the house to go to classes and even then I restored to wearing sweats everywhere. I didn't even risk seeing a doctor I was so ashamed. My parents were terrified and wanted me to see a shrink. They thought I was depressed," she said with a sharp laugh. Lexi didn't think anyone could blame her for being depressed under the circumstances.
"But one day Bekah showed up at my apartment." Lexi cringed away at the name. "I didn't want to let her in, but she insisted and pushed past me. Well of course she could tell that something was different…that I was bigger. I'll spare you the details of the following days with her holed up in my apartment with me. Suffice it to say that I ended up miscarrying."
"Oh no," Lexi breathed the sorrow of the story beginning to overwhelm her.
"Bekah convinced me to tell him. When I finally went there, it was another bad night. It was storming the entire drive up to Durham. He was alone, but drunk again. I don't know why I expected any less. I hadn't seen or heard from him since I'd left his place that night I'd walked out on him. When I got up the courage to tell him, he called me a liar. He'd gotten it into his head that everything was my fault that night…" she paused unable to go on as she clutched her chest.
"Well when Bekah finally got to him, she made him feel like a worthless piece of shit. He called and visited and tried to repair everything we had had, but I couldn't do it. There was too much hurt and though he didn't give up for quite some time, I could never really get over what had happened to me. It's the reason I had pushed through to medicine," she sadly slumping back in her chair as if to show that was the end of her tale.
Lexi couldn't believe it. How could this be the same Ramsey that she knew now? How could any of this be true with what she knew about the man she had fallen in love with? It didn't add up. It just didn't make sense. He wasn't this person. He was so much more than that.
Why would he lie? It was such an elaborate story though. She had to admit it did all fit together, but still it didn't make sense. He had no reason to tell Lexi that he'd never dated, loved, or that Parker was nothing more than someone he had f**ked and left…just like all the other girls.
She stood up abruptly the weight of the story heavy on her shoulders. "Don't come near me, my parents, or Ramsey," she said pointing her finger at Parker menacingly. She couldn't believe it. The story was too much.
"Lexi," Parker pleaded looking up at her through pained eyes.
She had gone through too much in one day. Her brain couldn't process any of it. She couldn't think of what all of this would mean if it were true. She couldn't think of shattering the one perfect picture she had of an individual. And so she stumbled away from the coffee shop and back up to her father's bedside to wait out the agony of the day.
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K.A. Linde
Mental Breakdown
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.
-Taylor Swift "Story of Us"
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Chapter 19: Present
Lexi walked into the empty restaurant with Ramsey at her side. Her hand was tucked neatly into the crook of his elbow. The other hung limp at her side. Her hair had been pulled high on top of her head into a tight twist revealing her slender neck, which was typically hidden beneath the locks. Her make-up appeared light though she had taken the time to conceal herself from the awaiting crowd. A polyester, slim-cut dress in the palest of purples shrouded her body. Her calves, thighs, and bu**ocks were accentuated in her tan pointy-toed mules. She had taken unusual care in her outfit knowing she would hardly be exempt from judgment on a night like tonight.
Ramsey appeared as gorgeous and perfect as ever. His suit fit to perfection tailored specifically for the evening. His golden hair, so fitting for the Golden Boy of the Bridges empire, shown in the setting sun. His green-gold eyes glittering splendidly in the shining light.
And though Lexi's anger welled inside of her, as still so much had been left unspoken between them, she could hardly deny the beauty that so easily entrapped so many woman…Lexi included. She fought the urge to consider beyond that beautiful face to the man that she still wondered if she really knew.
Tonight was not a night for such contemplations. When the wedding was over…when the week was up, she would get her answers and they could decide from there. She didn't know what lay ahead of them, but she could figure that all out later. She could decide then if everything was truly worth saving. She shook the thoughts from her head not wanting tears to begin to form in her eyes. The only thing she wanted to show as she sat through this rehearsal dinner was indifference.