Avoiding Responsibility (Avoiding 2)

Lexi clenched her jaw. No, she wouldn't be doing it alone. She would be doing it with Ramsey. Ramsey would be at her side. Ramsey would be the one that she would go to in her time of need. She would have him with her for everything. They would spend all their time together. She tried not to show her distaste at the thought, but she was sure it was shining through loud and clear.

This would be a perfect set up. Bekah and their father getting Ramsey back in the business. Bekah getting her best friend back with her brother. Parker and Ramsey ending up together. It was almost too good of a ploy. Lexi didn't know how Ramsey couldn't see through it. He was too smart not to see what they were doing to him. They were deciding his life all over again. Everything he had done up until this point just faded away with a distant memory, because they got him back. His past accomplishments would be nothing compared to opening and running the newest branch of Bridges Enterprise.

Lexi felt sick. She suddenly felt very sick. Her stomach grumbled and she quickly covered her mouth as the taste of bile rose in her throat. She swallowed hard and gulped down the water left over from dinner. Her ah-ha moment mere hours earlier crept into her mind, but she pushed it down. She couldn't do this. She needed to get away. She could face her problems tomorrow. She could face Ramsey tomorrow. Parker, Bekah, and Jack could all wait for her to not feel like she was going to vomit on them at any second. She wasn't running away from her responsibilities…she was running away from the idiocy that was her life. How could a man that claimed to love her not tell her the truth about one f**king thing? How could he hold back something so important as a complete 180 degree career change from her when she had been living with him at the time? There would be time later to face up to her responsibilities. She wanted answers, but she wasn't sure if now was the time or the place that she wanted them.

As discreetly as she could manage, Lexi pushed back her chair, walked around the outside of the circular tables, and slipped out the back entrance. Leaving the overcrowded room filled with expectations nearly made her dizzy. She breathed in the restaurant air and headed quickly for the bathroom. Lexi pushed open the door and walked quickly to the mirror. She stared forward at her reflection and sighed heavily. To a stranger she would appear all but flawless, but Lexi could tell that she was off. Her tan skin was too pale and if she looked too closely had a tint of green from where she had felt sick. Her lips were pursed in distaste. Some small beading of sweat was splattered across her hair line and under her nose. She snatched a paper towel out of the dispenser and quick blotted her face dry. She wasn't any more satisfied with her reflection, but it didn't matter.

Taking a deep breath, she did the one thing that she could think of even though she knew this wasn't going to be good for her either. She picked up her phone and dialed Chyna's number. The line was eerily quiet for a Friday night when Chyna answered. "Hey chica," Chyna said happily into the phone. Lexi had no idea what was going on. Last she had checked, Chyna was normally out partying and drinking every weekend since she had returned from Milan. Lexi couldn't understand why she would be somewhere quiet already.

"Chyna, it's so good to talk to you," Lexi said more exhausted and desperate than she had intended.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Chyna asked dreamily seeming to read her mood. Lexi quickly filled her in on the situation at hand. She told her about Jack doubting the wedding, about the bachelorette party, about Ramsey having been with Maddie, about him agreeing to this company with Parker. Chyna listened the whole time without a word. Lexi didn't know what to make of it. After she finished, Chyna sighed heavily. "You're determined to get yourself in trouble aren't you?"

Lexi paused and actually thought about what her friend was saying. She kind of was determined to get herself in trouble. Why was she always in these miserable situations? Was it more her fault than anything? She didn't want to contemplate it. There was too much to think about. "I guess so."

"I knew this would happen," Chyna said with a dramatic sigh. "I told you not to go see him, not to go to this wedding."

"I know."

"You know but you don't listen. You never listen Alexa," she said exasperated.

Lexi knew she was right, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. "I guess."

"No, you know," Chyna chided her. "You know he's bad for you or at least that he lied to you on multiple occasions just like you knew that Jack was a philandering ass. You let these guys use you up until there's so little of you left I can't even find my best friend." Lexi nodded mournfully even though she knew that Chyna couldn't see her. "It's worse this time because you know better. Ramsey is not Jack and yet you allowed him to do this to you all the same."

"I know Chyna," Lexi said sadly. "I know I did."

"Now you can't just walk away from it all. You put yourself in this position and you are going to get yourself out of it. Do you love him?" she asked abruptly throwing Lexi off guard.

"Yes," she answered without taking the second to think about it.

Chyna sighed again, but different this time. She seemed almost resigned to Lexi's inflexibility, to her determination when it came to men that were bad for her, men that she allowed to hurt her. "Then you can't run away from this Alexa."

"I wasn't…"

"Yes you were! Don't you dare lie to me!" Chyna said barely raising her voice but somehow making it more commanding than Lexi had ever heard before. "You were calling me for a way out. Well I don't have one. You need to talk to him! You need to get your answers. Just don't do it like you did with Jack last year."

"I wouldn't…it's not the same," Lexi said meekly.

"No it's not," Chyna agreed willingly. "You're not infatuated with Ramsey. The element of obsession is out of the picture which might be the best thing that could happen for you. If you really love him and not the way with Jack where he infects your very being, then you need to clear the air. At least then you'll never have to wonder. You'll never have to think about what it could have been."

Lexi knew she was right…hated to admit that she was right. She wanted to run. She wanted to high tail it in the opposite direction and not look back. The last thing she wanted to do was face down the man that she loved to find out once and for all why he had done this to her. Why he continued to lie to her. Why he continued to put her second best in his life. She wanted to be the strong confident woman that she knew she could be, but it was so difficult. The thought of confronting all of her fears left her frantic.