Lover Mine (Black Dagger Brotherhood 8)

As the human male sprayed some paper towels with antibacterial wash, John settled his weight on his spine once again, and let the tingling hum from the needle's work reverberate through his whole body.

In the lull, an odd memory came to him, one he hadn't thought of for years. It was from his days of living at Our Lady's orphanage, back when he hadn't known what he truly was.

One of the church's benefactors had been a rich man who owned a big house on the shores of Saranac Lake. Every summer, the orphans had been invited to go up for a day and play on his football- field-size lawn and go for rides on his beautiful wooden boat and eat sandwiches and watermelon.

John had always gotten a sunburn. No matter how much goo they slathered on him, his skin had always burned to a crisp--until they finally relegated him to staying in the shade on the porch. Forced to wait things out on the sidelines, he'd watched the other boys and girls do their thing, listening to the laughter roll across the bright green grass, having his food brought to him and eating alone, playing witness instead of being a part of it.

Funny, his back felt now as his skin had then: tight and prickly, especially as the tattoo artist hit the raw spots with the wet cloth and made circles over the fresh ink.

Man, John could remember dreading that annual ordeal at the lake. He'd wanted so badly to be with the others. . . although if he was honest, that had been less about what they were doing, and more because he was desperate simply to fit in. For fuck's sake, they could have been chewing on glass shards and bleeding down the front of their shirts and he still would have been all sign-me-up.

Those six hours on that porch with nothing but a comic book or maybe a fallen bird's nest to inspect and reinspect had seemed as long as months. Too much time to think and yearn. He'd always hoped to be adopted and in lonely moments like that the drive had consumed him: Even more than being among the other little boys, he'd wanted a family, a real mother and a father, not just guardians who were paid to raise him.

He'd wanted to be owned. He'd wanted someone to say, You're mine.

Of course, now that he knew what he was. . . now that he lived as a vampire among vampires, he understood that "owning" thing much more clearly. Sure, humans had a concept of family units and marriage and all that shit, but his true kind were more like pack animals. Blood ties and matings were far more visceral and all-consuming.

As he thought about his younger, sadder self, his chest ached-- although not because he wished he could reach back in time and tell that little kid that his parents were coming for him. Nope, he ached because the very thing he'd wanted had nearly destroyed him. His adoption had indeed come, but the "owning" hadn't stuck. Wellsie and Tohr had waltzed into his life, told him what he was, and shown him a brief glimpse of home. . . and then disappeared.

So he could say categorically that it was far worse to have had and lost parents, than not to have had them at all.

Yeah, sure, Tohr was technically back in the Brotherhood's mansion, but to John he was ever away: Even though he was now saying the right things, too many takeoffs had occurred such that now that a landing might actually have happened, it was too late.

John was through with that whole Tohr thing.

"Here's a mirror. Check 'er out, my man. "

John nodded a thank-you and went over to a full-lengther in the corner. As Blay returned from his extended cigarette break and Qhuinn emerged from behind the side room's curtain, John turned around and got a look- see at what was on his back.

Oh, God. It was exactly what he wanted. And the scrollwork was boss. He nodded as he moved the hand mirror around, checking out every angle. Man, it was kind of a shame that no one other than his boys were ever going to see this. The tat was spectacular.

And more to the point, no matter what happened next, whether he found Xhex dead or alive, she would always be with him.

Damn him to hell, these last four weeks since her abduction had been the longest of his life. And he'd had some pretty fucking long days before this shit. To not know where she was. To not know what had happened to her. To have lost her. . . He felt as if he'd been mortally injured, though his skin was intact and his arms and legs unbroken and his chest unpenetrated by bullet or blade.

But then again, in his heart, she was his. And even if he got her back just so she could live a life that didn't include him, that was okay. He only wanted her safe and alive.

John looked at the artist, put his hand over his heart, and bowed deeply. As he rose from his position of gratitude, the guy stuck his palm out.

"You're welcome, man. Means a lot that you approve. Let me cover it up now with some cream and a wrap. "

After they shook, John signed and Blay translated, "Not necessary. He heals lightning-quick. "

"But it's going to need time to--" The tattoo artist leaned in and then frowned as he inspected where he'd worked.

Before the guy started asking questions, John stepped back and grabbed his shirt from Blay. The fact was, the ink they'd brought with them had been lifted from V's stash--which meant part of its composition included salt. That name and those fabulous swirls were permanent--and his skin had already healed.

Which was one advantage of being a nearly purebred vampire.

"The tat rocks," Qhuinn said. "It's pure sex. "

As if on cue, the woman who he'd just balled came out from behind the side room's curtain, and it was hard not to notice Blay's pained expression. Especially as she slipped a piece of paper into Qhuinn's back pocket. Undoubtedly her number was on the thing, but she really didn't need to get her hopes up. Once the guy had someone, that was it--kind of like his sex partners were a meal that couldn't be re-eaten and never had any leftovers. Unfortunately said Kat von D look-alike had stars in her eyes.

"Call me," she murmured to him with a confidence that would fade as the days passed.

Qhuinn smiled a little. "Take care. "

At the sound of the two words, Blay relaxed, his big shoulders easing up. In Qhuinn-landia, take care was synonymous with I'm never going to see, call, or fuck you again.