Darkest Before Dawn (KGI 10)

“What I hold in my arms is worth any amount of pain. You won’t change my mind on that.”

Guy shook his head, a stubborn look she was well acquainted with reflecting in his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her, his lips in a thin line.

“Reece will be our only child. I will not allow you to go through all that again.”

She rolled her eyes and then smiled as she rose up on tiptoe, Reece nestled between their bodies and kissed Guy.

“I love you, but it’s too late to deny me another child. You’re just going to have to suck it up and accept the inevitable.”

He stared at her in complete shock, absolutely stunned. For a long moment he opened and closed his mouth, utterly speechless. He looked as though he’d been hit over the head with a sledgehammer.

“You’re pregnant again?” he asked hoarsely. “It’s too soon, Honor.” Panic was fast invading his voice and he began to shake violently from head to toe. “You’re not even fully recovered from your first pregnancy!”

He looked terrified, his eyes bleak.

“I can’t lose you. You’re my everything. God, what have I done? What have I done? You were on birth control. This shouldn’t have happened. What have I done?” he repeated for a third time, desperation unhinging him. “I’ll hurt you. I can’t put you through this again. Especially not so soon.”

He rubbed his hands over his face and then up and over his head, utter despair making his body sag. Never had she seen him this way. Strong. Unbreakable. Always in control. Able to turn it off at will. And yet now, he was falling apart, shattering before her very eyes.

The one thing she couldn’t do was to respond in kind. She had to make light of the situation and show him she wasn’t in the least afraid.

“I’d say you have some very potent swimmers,” she teased. “Birth control has kryptonite and apparently it’s you.”

He glowered at her attempt at humor.

“How can you joke about something like this? If something happens to you, Reece won’t have a mother and I won’t have you.”

Okay so humor was out. She’d pull out the big guns then. She looked at him with big, sad eyes and actually pouted, something she’d never imagined herself doing. But if it worked then hey, she wouldn’t spare an ounce of remorse. She couldn’t help it because her husband was as dense as fog and insanely overprotective of her.

“Guy, you knew I wanted a large family before we got married,” she said in a low, quivering voice that may or may not sound like she was close to tears. “Would you deny me that? Knowing it’s something I want with all my heart and soul?”

He scowled and then scrubbed a hand over his head, down the back to clasp his nape. Then he closed his eyes.

“You know damn well I’d give you anything you wanted. I’d give you the world. But damn it, Honor. I don’t want to lose you!”

She shifted Reece higher on her chest so his head was cradled against the side of her neck and she gazed earnestly at her husband. The man she loved more than she thought it was possible to love another human being.

“Oh, Guy, you aren’t going to lose me,” she said in a tender voice that conveyed all she felt for this man. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me forever.”

He wrapped both arms around his wife and child and rubbed his chin over the top of her head. “Damn right,” he muttered. “Never going to give you up, baby. You’ve already given me something I never allowed myself to even dream of, and now you’re giving me more.”

He tilted his head back enough so he could look her in the eye, so she could see everything that was in his. “I love you,” he said, his voice raw and ravaged with emotion. “Forever. I know I’m a demanding bastard, and I can be an asshole, but I thank God for you every single day, and just when I think it can’t get any better than right then, right there, you smile at me and light up my entire fucking world and it only gets better. Every damn day is better than the last. I don’t deserve you, but I’m never letting you go.”

So much vulnerability shone in his eyes, and she was shocked to see a sheen of moisture that was gone almost as soon as it appeared, leaving her to wonder if she’d imagined it. She moved Reece to her side so he wouldn’t be suffocated between his parents and then she rose up on tiptoe again and kissed Guy long and sweet. And he gave her long and sweet right back, proving he wasn’t always dominant and demanding.

They reluctantly pulled away when Reece started fussing and Guy took him from Honor’s arms.

“I guess we need to go see Maren soon,” she said ruefully.

“We’ll go next week,” he declared, dominance and demand back in force. Then he fixed her with a stern glare. “And you’re taking it easy, Honor. With a baby and being pregnant and as sick as you were with your first pregnancy, you’re not going to so much as lift a finger and there will be no argument.

“And,” he said, holding up a finger when she would have opened her mouth to speak, “you’re going to give me another son since you’re hell-bent on having a house full of children. Our daughter will need big brothers to protect her.”

She laughed and hugged the side Reece didn’t occupy on Guy. “I live to please you, oh lord and master.”

His gaze was full of tenderness as he looked down at her, his son on one side, his wife nestled against his other.