Safe Haven

"That you're drunk when you come into work."

"It's not true."

"So if I gave you a Breathalyzer, you'd blow a zero, right?"

Kevin could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He knew how to lie and he was good at it but he had to keep his voice steady. "Last night, I was up late with a buddy and we were drinking. There might still be some alcohol in my system, but I'm not drunk and I didn't drink before coming into work this morning. Or that day, either. Or any day, for that matter."

Bill stared at him. "Tell me what's going on with Erin," he said.

"I've already told you. She's helping a friend in Manchester. We went to the Cape just a few weeks ago."

"You told Coffey that you went to a restaurant in Provincetown with Erin, but the restaurant closed six months ago and there was no record of you checking into the bed-and-breakfast you mentioned. And no one has seen or heard from Erin in months."

Kevin felt his head filling with blood, making the pounding worse. "You checked up on me?"

"You've been drinking on the job and you've been lying to me."

"I haven't--"

"Stop lying to me!" the captain suddenly shouted. "I can smell your breath from here!" His eyes flared anger. "And as of now, you're suspended from duty. You should call your union rep before you meet with Internal Affairs. Leave your gun and your badge on my desk and go home."

"How long?" Kevin managed to croak out.

"Right now, suspension is the least of your worries."

"Just so you know, I didn't say anything to that woman."

"They heard you!" Bill shouted. "Your partner, the medical examiner, the crime scene investigators, the boyfriend." He paused, visibly trying to regain his calm. "Everyone heard you," he said with finality, and all at once, Kevin felt as though he'd lost control of everything and he knew it was all Erin's fault.

29

August rolled in, and although Alex and Katie were enjoying the hot, slow summer days they spent together, the kids were beginning to get bored. Wanting to do something unusual, Alex took Katie and the kids to see the rodeo monkeys in Wilmington. Much to Katie's disbelief, it turned out to be exactly what it sounded like: monkeys, dressed in cowboy outfits, rode dogs and herded rams for almost an hour before a show of fireworks that rivaled the Fourth of July. On their way out, Katie turned toward him with a smile.

"That has to be the craziest thing I've ever seen," she said, shaking her head.

"And you probably thought we lacked culture in the South."

She laughed. "Where do people come up with these ideas?"

"I have no idea. But it's a good thing I heard about it. They're in town for only a couple of days." He scanned the parking lot for his car.

"Yes, it's hard to imagine how unfulfilling my life would have been had I never seen monkeys riding dogs."

"The kids liked it!" Alex protested.

"The kids loved it," Katie agreed. "But I can't figure out whether the monkeys liked it. They didn't look all that happy to me."

Alex squinted at her. "I'm not sure I'd be able to tell whether a monkey was happy or not."

"My point exactly," she said.

"Hey, it's not my fault that there's still another month until school, and I'm just about out of new things for the kids to do."

"They don't need to do something special every day."

"I know. And they don't. But I don't want them watching television all the time, either."

"Your kids don't watch a lot of television."

"That's because I take them to see the rodeo monkeys."

"And next week?"

"That's easy. The carnival will be in town. One of those traveling things."

She smiled. "Those kinds of rides always made me sick to my stomach."

"And the kids love them, anyway. But that reminds me. Are you working next Saturday?"

"I'm not sure. Why?"

"Because I was hoping you'd come to the carnival with us."

"You want me to be sick to my stomach?"

"You don't have to go on the rides if you don't want to. But I would like to ask a favor."

"What's that?"

"I was hoping you'd watch the kids later that evening. Joyce's daughter is flying into Raleigh, and Joyce asked if I could drive her to the airport to pick her up. Joyce doesn't like to drive at night."

"I'd be glad to watch them."

"It'll have to be at my place, so they go to bed at a reasonable hour."

She looked at him. "Your place? I never get to spend time at your house."

"Yeah, well..."

He didn't seem to know what to say next and she smiled. "No problem," she said. "That sounds like fun. Maybe we'll watch a movie together and have some popcorn."

Alex walked in silence for a few steps before he asked, "Do you ever want to have kids?"

Katie hesitated. "I'm not sure," she finally said. "I haven't really thought about it."

"Ever?"

She shook her head. "In Atlantic City I was too young, with Kevin I couldn't bear the idea, and I've had my mind on other things the last few months."

"But if you did think about it?" he persisted.

"I still don't know. I guess it would depend on a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Like whether I was married, for starters. And, as you know, I can't get married."

"Erin can't get married," he said. "But Katie probably could. She has a driver's license, remember."

Katie took a few steps in silence. "She might be able to, but she wouldn't do it unless she met the right guy."

He laughed and slipped his arm around her. "I know that working at Ivan's was just what you needed at the time you took the job, but did you ever think about doing something else?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Going back to college, getting a degree, finding a job that you really love."

"What makes you think I don't love waiting tables?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "I was just curious as to what you might be interested in."

She thought about it. "Growing up, like every other girl I knew, I loved animals and I thought I'd be a veterinarian. But there's no way I'd be willing to go back to school for that now. It would take too long."

"There are other ways to work with animals. You could train rodeo monkeys, for instance."

"I don't think so. I still haven't decided whether the monkeys liked it."

>

"You've got a soft spot for those monkeys, don't you?"

"Who wouldn't? I mean, who on earth came up with that idea in the first place?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I heard you laughing."

"I didn't want to make the rest of you feel bad."

He laughed again, pulling her even closer. Ahead of them, Josh and Kristen were already slumped against the jeep. She knew they would probably fall asleep before they got back to Southport.

"You never answered my question," Alex said. "About what you want to do with your life."

"Maybe my dreams aren't that complicated. Maybe I think that a job is just a job."

"What does that mean?"

"Maybe I don't want to be defined by what I do. Maybe I'd like to be defined by what I am."

He considered the response. "Okay," he said. "Then who do you want to be?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"I wouldn't have asked you otherwise."

She stopped and met his gaze. "I'd like to be a wife and mother," she finally said.

He frowned. "But I thought you said that you weren't sure whether you wanted to have children."

She cocked her head, looking as beautiful as he'd ever seen. "What does that have to do with anything?"

The kids fell asleep before they reached the highway. It wasn't a long trip back, maybe half an hour, but neither Alex nor Katie wanted to risk waking the kids with their conversation. Instead, they were content to hold hands in silence as they made the drive back to Southport.

As Alex pulled to a stop in front of her house, Katie spotted Jo sitting on the steps of her porch, as if waiting for her. In the darkness, she wasn't sure whether Alex recognized her, but at that moment Kristen stirred and he turned around in his seat to make sure she hadn't woken up. Katie leaned over and kissed him.

"I should probably talk to her," Katie whispered.

"Who? Kristen?"

"My neighbor." Katie smiled, gesturing over her shoulder. "Or rather, she probably wants to talk to me."