See Me

"Are you done?"

Serena giggled. "Yes. Now I'm done."

Maria noticed a hummingbird sipping from the feeder her mother had hung, hovering in a way that had mesmerized her since she was a young girl. From inside, she could hear her mother quietly singing to herself, and while the aroma of eggs and refried beans should have been making her hungry, she was already a little nervous about the upcoming afternoon. She wondered how much she'd actually be able to eat.

"I'm still kind of surprised at the way he just... told you everything," Serena finally offered.

"Had you been there, you would have been in shock. Trust me."

"It's weird, though. I don't think I've ever met anyone like that before."

"You're telling me."

Two hours later, Maria was at home, debating what to wear. Serena's advice sounded in her ear, making the decision a lot more difficult than it should have been. Normally she wouldn't think twice about it; she'd wear shorts and either a halter or a bikini top, and she certainly wouldn't have showered beforehand or put on makeup or felt the clawing pangs of nervousness in her belly, but there they were. Standing in front of her chest of drawers, she debated what kind of impression she wanted to make. Bold? Casual? Sexy?

It was a whole lot easier for men, she decided: Throw on a T-shirt, flip-flops, and shorts and head out the door. Meanwhile, she had to debate the length of her shorts, and decide how tight or faded she wanted them to be, or whether she should wear the ones with the sexy tears below the back pockets or go a bit more conservative. And that was just the bottoms; trying to decide on her top was even more difficult, especially since she hadn't decided whether to wear the bikini or a one-piece underneath. Despite what she'd said to Serena, it was a date, and aside from the fiasco last weekend with Jill and Paul, she hadn't been on a lot of dates recently. Add in the fact that her thoughts had been drifting to Colin all morning and last night, and the whole thing left her feeling more jittery than ever.

What did she want with him, anyway? Colin was the kind of guy she used to prosecute. Until yesterday, had anyone even suggested that she go out with a guy with his past, she would have laughed aloud or--more likely--been offended. She should have simply said good-bye after he'd walked her to her car last night. The very idea of the two of them going out today was absurd, and yet... she had asked him, and she had trouble remembering exactly how that had happened or what she'd been thinking.

And yet, Colin was... magnetic. It was the word that had popped into her head while she was taking a shower, and the more she'd thought about it, the more apt the description seemed. While his answers had left her spinning at times, she had to admit that his here's the real me and you can either accept me or not shtick was refreshing. More than that, she sensed that his regret had been real, underscoring how much he really had changed. She wasn't naive enough to ignore the possibility that he may have been trying to play on her sympathies, but it was impossible to reconcile that notion with the guy who'd changed her tire, or walked the beach with her, or attended classes with her sister in the hopes of becoming a teacher. He certainly hadn't tried to hit on her, and had she not asked him to go paddleboarding, she had no doubt he would have left her at her car without further ado.

She had to admit that she appreciated the fact that he had been so open and honest about his past. If he'd waited until today to reveal those surprises, she would have felt manipulated and angry, maybe even frightened. The chemistry she'd initially felt with him would have been doused almost instantly, leaving her wondering what else he'd been lying about. No one likes a bait and switch.

Truthfully, she didn't know a lot of people who'd turned their lives in an entirely new direction, like Colin had. And though she had no idea where today might lead--or even whether it was a beginning of sorts--she finally thought, Oh, what the hell? and put on her black bikini, then chose the sexy tight jean shorts with the tears below the pockets. Last, she pulled on a formfitting shirt with a plunging neckline. Serena, after all, had been right about something else. If Colin took off his shirt--and that, she had to admit, wouldn't bother her in the slightest--then at the very least, she should have the option of doing the same.

Colin was leaning against the side of his car as she pulled in behind him, and when he waved, all she could do was stare. He wore a gray T-shirt that clung from his sculpted shoulders all the way down to his narrow waist. The sleeves could barely contain his well-defined arms, and even from a distance, the deep blue-gray color of his eyes was visible, set off by his sharp cheekbones. As improbable as it seemed, her first thought was that he was getting more handsome by the day. When he pushed away from the car and smiled, she felt something jump inside her while a little voice whispered, If I'm not careful, I could get in serious trouble with this guy.

Forcing the thought away, she waved from inside the car, then took a deep breath as she shut the engine down. When she opened the door, the heat assailed her almost immediately. Thankfully, the humidity was minimal and a slight breeze stirred the air, making it a bit more bearable.

"Hey there," she called out. "You're right on time."

She saw that he had brought a backpack, a small cooler, and a pair of towels. He leaned over, picking up the backpack and flinging it over his shoulder. "I got here early," he said. "I wasn't sure that I was parking in the right place. There aren't any other cars around."

"It's always quieter on the tip of the island," she said. "People don't like to feed the meters, which is good, since it means we don't have so far to walk." She shaded her eyes. "How did sparring go?"

"It was a little more intense than usual, but no bruising or broken noses."

"I can tell," she said with a smile. "How about the other guys? You didn't hurt them, did you?"

"They're fine." He squinted into the glare. "Your turn. How was brunch with your family?"

"No broken noses or bruising, either," she teased, and when she heard him laugh, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, reminding herself not to get too carried away. "On a more serious note, though, I should probably warn you that I told Serena we were going out on the water today. In case she hunts you down after class and asks you for lots of personal details."

"Will she do that?"

For sure, Maria thought. "Probably."

"Why doesn't she ask you?"

"I'm sure she'll be calling me later. She considers it her duty to be heavily involved in my personal life."

"Okay." He grinned. "You look beautiful, by the way."

She felt a flash of heat in her cheeks. "Thank you," she said. Then, trying to keep things light, she added, "You ready for today?"

"I can't wait."

"We're lucky there isn't a lot of wind. The water should be perfect."

She began to unhook one of the straps that held the paddleboards in place on the roof rack. Noting what she was doing, he stepped close to help her unhook the other straps. The muscles in his forearms moved like piano strings, making his tattoo ripple as the two of them worked side by side. He smelled like salt and wind, clean and fresh. He lifted the top board off, leaning it against the car before doing the same with the other, propping the two against each other.

"How's your balance on the board?" he asked.

"Pretty good. Why?"

"Because I packed a small cooler," he said, gesturing at it behind him. "I was wondering if you'd be able to put it on your board. I'm not sure my balance will be good enough at first."

"It's not that hard," she said. "You'll get the hang of it. But to answer your question, yes, I can put the cooler on my board, and actually, that's perfect, since it will give me a place to put the towels. I hate wet towels."

Opening her door, she reached for both her camera and the carrier straps for the boards, consciously trying not to stare at him. She laid out the carrier straps, then hooked them to the boards, knowing Colin was watching her and liking the way it made her feel. When she was finished, he grabbed his backpack and both boards. M

aria picked up the towels and cooler as they started toward the point. "What's in the cooler, by the way?" she asked.

"Snacks, basically. Fruit, some nuts, a couple bottles of water."

"Healthy," she commented.

"I'm pretty strict about what I eat."

"And the backpack?"

"A Frisbee, a Hacky Sack, and sunscreen. If we hit the beach or whatever."

"I'm not very good at Frisbee. And just so you know, I've never touched a Hacky Sack in my life."

"Then we'll both be trying something new today."

On the beach, the sand glowed almost white in the sunlight. Aside from a man tossing a ball to his golden retriever in the waves, the beach at this end of the island was deserted. Maria raised the cooler in the direction of the inlet. "That's Masonboro Island," she said.

"Until you mentioned it last night, I'd never heard of it."

"It's rustic. There are no roads or picnic areas. In the summers, a lot of boaters go there, but lately, I've had the place to myself. It's quiet and beautiful, and it's a great way to kick off my week, especially one like this one. My partner has a trial later this week, and I'll probably be working late every night to make sure he has everything he needs. I'll head in earlier than usual, too."

"That's a lot of hours."

"Gotta get ahead, you know," she cracked.

"Why?"

"If I don't do my job, I'll get fired."

"I wasn't asking about doing your job well. I understand that. I was just wondering why it's important to you to get ahead."

Maria frowned, realizing that he was the first person who'd ever asked her the question and she was at a loss. "I don't know," she finally answered. "I guess I'm just wired that way. Either that, or it was all my parents' fault. Isn't that what people say in therapy?"

"Sometimes. And sometimes it's even true."

"Don't you want to get ahead?"

"I'm not sure what getting ahead even means," he said. "Bigger house? Better cars? More exotic vacations? My parents have all those things, but I don't get the sense that either of them is really happy. There's always something more out there, but where does it end? I don't want to live like that."

"How do you want to live?"

"I want balance. Work is important because I have to support myself, but so are friends, health, rest. Having the time to do things that I enjoy, and sometimes doing nothing at all."

The cooler thumped gently against her leg. "That's very... sensible."

"Okay."

She smiled. I could have predicted he was going to say that. "You're right, of course. Balance is important, but I've always liked the feeling of succeeding at something difficult, whether it was grades when I was a little girl or a well-written brief now. Setting goals and then reaching them makes me feel like I'm not just going through the motions of life. And in the end, if I do it well enough, other people notice, and I get rewarded. I like that, too."

"That makes sense."

"But not for you?"

"We're different."

"Don't you set goals, too? Like finishing college or winning a fight?"

"Yes."

"Then how are we different?"

"Because I don't care about getting ahead. And I generally don't give a lot of thought to the way other people define it."

"And you think I do?"

"Yes."

"Care to elaborate?"

He took a couple of steps before answering. "I think you care deeply about the way you come across to other people, but to me, that's a mistake. In the end, the only one you can ever really please is yourself. How others feel is up to them."

She pressed her lips together, knowing he was right but still a little taken aback that he'd simply... say it. Then again, he was forthright about everything else, so why should she be surprised?

"Did you learn that in therapy?"

"Yes. But it took a long time to embrace it."

"Maybe I should talk to your therapist."

"Maybe," he agreed, and she laughed.

"Well, just so you know, it's not all me. The fact that I need so much external validation is my parents' fault."

When he arched a skeptical eyebrow, she nudged his shoulder playfully, the gesture strangely natural. "I'm being serious about this. I might have been born with drive or ambition or whatever you want to call it, but they definitely nurtured it. Neither one of my parents went to school past the eighth grade, and they had to sacrifice for years before they could start the restaurant. They had to learn a new language and accounting and a thousand other things from scratch when they were adults, so to them, a good education was everything. I grew up speaking Spanish at home, so right from the start, I had to work harder than the other kids because I didn't understand anything the teacher was saying. Even though my parents were both working fifteen-hour days, they never missed a meeting with my teachers, and they made sure I always did my homework. When I started to bring home good grades, they were just so proud. They'd invite my aunts and uncles and cousins over on the weekend--I've got a ton of relatives in town--and they'd pass around my report card, going on and on about what a good student I was. I was the center of attention and I liked the way it made me feel, so I began to work even harder. I'd sit in the front row and raise my hand whenever the teacher asked a question, and I'd stay up until the middle of the night studying for tests. As a result, I was pretty much a total nerd all the way through high school."

"Yeah?" He wore that amused expression again.

"Uh... yeah," she said sheepishly. "I got glasses when I was eight, these brown-rimmed monstrosities, and I had braces for three years. I was shy and gawky and I actually liked to study. I didn't go to a prom until I was a senior, and even then, I went with a group of other girls who didn't have dates, either. I never kissed a boy until the month before I started college. Trust me, I know what a nerd is, and I was one of them."

"And now?"

"I'm still kind of a nerd. I work too much, I don't visit my friends as often as I should, and I don't really do anything on the weekends except paddleboard and spend time with my family. On Friday nights, you can usually find me reading in bed."

"That doesn't make you a nerd. I don't go out much anymore, either. If I'm not working out or competing, I'm usually listening to some tunes or studying or hanging with Evan and Lily at the house."

"Lily?"

"Evan's fiancee."

"What's she like?"

"Blond. About the same size as you. Terrific personality. And very, very Southern. She's from Charleston."

"How about Evan? Is he anything like you?"

"He's more like you, actually. He's got his act together."

"You think I have my act together?"

"Yes."

"Then why doesn't it feel that way?"

"I have no idea," he answered. "But I think most people would say the same thing about you as I did."

She squinted over at him, liking what he'd said. By then, they had reached the shoreline, and she slipped off her sandals, focusing on the water. "Okay, this is good," she declared. "The tide's going in, which makes it easier. If it were going out, we'd have to launch from down there," she said, pointing over his shoulder. "You ready?"

"Almost," he said. He put the boards down and shrugged off the backpack, storing his flip-flops and removing a bottle of sunscreen. He pulled off his shirt, tucking it away in the backpack as well, and her first thought was that he looked almost sculpted. His chest and stomach were a landscape of contours and ridges, every muscle sharply defined. On his chest, a colorful dragon tattoo wound its way over one shoulder, intertwining artfully with a Chinese character. He stared toward the water as he began to apply the lotion. "It's gorgeous out here," he observed.

"I agree," she said, trying not to ogle.

He squeezed some more sunscreen into his hand before offering her the bottle. "Do you want some?"

"Maybe later. I put some on earlier, but I don't generally burn. Lat

in skin, you know."

He nodded, slathering some on the fronts of his legs and then turning around. "Would you mind putting some on my back?"

She nodded, her mouth going slightly dry. "Sure."

Their fingers brushed as she took the lotion. She squeezed a dab into her hands and slowly ran her hands over his back, feeling the interplay of muscles and skin, trying to ignore the strange intimacy of what she was doing. Serena was going to love hearing about this.

"Will we see any dolphins or porpoises?" he asked, seemingly oblivious to her thoughts.

Running her hands over the cords in his back, it took her a moment to answer. "I doubt it. At this time of day, they're usually on the ocean side." Then, feeling a pang of disappointment, she finished and closed the cap. "All right, you're done."

"Thanks," he said, putting the sunscreen away. "What's next?"

"We're almost ready." She unhooked the carrier straps and handed them to Colin to store in his backpack as she grabbed the smaller of the two boards. "Can you follow me out with the cooler and towels? I'll show you how to get up."

She waded into the ocean with her board, and when she was a bit more than knee-deep, she lay down on it, pulling herself along its length until she was centered. She set the oar perpendicular to the board, then held it fast as she first went to her knees, and then finally stood. "Ta-da... And that's all there is to it. The key is to find your sweet spot, where neither the nose nor the tail is underwater. And then, keep your knees bent--it'll help keep you upright."

"Got it."

"You can put the cooler behind me, and then stack the towels on. And would you hand me my camera?"

He waded into the water, following her instructions. She draped the camera strap around her neck as he retrieved his own board and repeated her movements. When he was standing, he shifted his weight, the board wobbling slightly.

"It's more stable than I thought it would be," he remarked.

"Now when you turn, you can either paddle forward for a wide, slow turn, or you can paddle backward for a tighter turn." She demonstrated the first, then the second, rotating in place, moving a bit farther from shore in the process. "You ready?"

"Let's go," he said. Within a few strokes he'd caught up to her, and they began to paddle side by side until they reached the fertile, still waters of the marsh. Above them, the blue sky was limned with thin cirrus clouds. Discreetly, she watched Colin taking in everything, his gaze lingering on the brown pelicans and the snowy egrets, or an osprey that passed overhead. He didn't seem to feel the need to break the silence, and she thought again that she'd never met anyone like him.