Unbreak My Heart (Fostering Love 1)

I was giddy as I reached the family room and found my mom holding Iris while the kids crowded around, staring at her and pointing out different things. Gavin wanted to know why she was wrapped so tight, Keller wanted to take her hat off, Sage wanted to hold her, and Gunner poked gently at her face over and over again, saying “nose.”

It was like Christmas and Halloween and every birthday I’d ever had all rolled together. It may have been the best moment of my life.

* * *

“If you sleep in here, Iris will wake you up,” I warned Keller as the kids and I looked down at Iris, who was lying on my bed. “She has to eat a lot.”

“I can make her bottles,” he replied stubbornly.

There was a movie playing on the TV across the room, and while Sage and Gavin had been in and out all day, Keller and Gunner had barely left my side.

“Bedtime,” Shane called, making Keller stiffen as he walked into the room. “You guys have fifteen more minutes.”

“I’m sleeping in here,” Keller told him mutinously. “I’m going to make Iris her bottles.”

“Uh, I don’t think Iris has any bottles, bud,” Shane said, glancing quickly at my breasts.

“Then what does she eat?” Gavin asked me curiously, never looking away from his baby sister.

“Well, she’s breast-fed,” I told the kids calmly, trying to keep a straight face. I’d sneaked away during the day to feed Iris since there was no way to really do it discreetly when we were still working on her latch. I hadn’t wanted to flash Alex and Dad my boobs.

“What?” Keller asked in confusion.

“Auntie Kate feeds her with her boobs!” Sage answered before I could, snickering.

“Gross!”

“Ew!”

“Goss!”

The boys’ faces showed varying levels of disgust, and I couldn’t stop the laughter that poured from my mouth. “It’s just like animals, guys.”

“That’s so weird. I think she wants a bottle instead,” Keller told me seriously.

“Breast-feeding is good for her, buddy,” I assured him.

“Okay, time for bed,” Shane called in amusement from the foot of the bed.

Gunner immediately began to cry like his heart was breaking and scrambled into my lap, startling Iris awake and causing her to accompany his howls with her own. Suddenly my breasts felt funny.

“You wet,” Gunner hiccuped after a moment, leaning against my chest. “Wet, Annie.”

I looked down and felt my face flush. What an awesome time for my milk to freaking come in.

“Shit,” I hissed.

“Shit,” Gunner repeated.

“Come on, guys,” Shane called out, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice. “Let’s go.”

Gavin, Sage, and Keller moved slowly off the bed, grumbling. I smiled when both boys crossed their arms over their chests in annoyance.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up,” I assured them over Iris’s cries. “Go to sleep, and tomorrow you guys can help me give Iris a bath.”

Shane herded them out of the room while I sat Gunner down next to me and reached for a tiny diaper on the bedside table.

“She’s probably wet,” I told him as I started pulling up her little nightgown. “She doesn’t like getting her pants changed, though.”

“Peen?” he asked as I whipped Iris’s wet diaper off and slid the dry one under her.

“Yeah, she doesn’t have one, does she? Girls don’t have a penis like boys. You’re a boy, and Iris is a girl.”

“I didn’t realize we’d be having a birds-and-bees talk with Gunner at twenty-one months old,” Shane said softly from the doorway.

“Yeah, well, the little man is curious,” I retorted, lifting Iris and rubbing her back.

“Want me to take him?”

Gunner was lying down by that point with the pointer and middle fingers of one hand in his mouth and his eyes drooping.

“No, he can stay in here,” I answered, lying down beside him and placing Iris between us. “I still need to feed the baby, and it’ll be easier for him to fall asleep if he’s in here with us.”

Iris began turning her face toward my chest, and my face heated as I realized Shane wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

“Do you mind?” I asked in irritation, pulling at the nursing tank top I was wearing.

“Not at all,” he answered with a smile, walking farther into the room.

I blocked him out as I pulled down my wet tank top and moved Iris’s head toward my nipple. We weren’t pros at getting her to latch right yet, but I thought she may be getting the hang of it.

The room went silent as she finally started to nurse, and I felt my entire body relax into the bed.

“Baby,” Gunner murmured around his fingers, reaching out to touch Iris’s head.

“You’re getting to be such a big boy,” I whispered back, running the tips of my fingers down his arm. “Time to sleep, monkey.”

After a few minutes, he pulled his hand back and curled it into his chest, falling asleep. When it was time to put Iris on my other breast, I slid my finger into her mouth and unlatched her before sitting up.