Change of Heart (Fostering Love 2)

“How the fuck would you know?”

“Because if he hadn’t died, he’d still be a fucking dead-beat dad, and we wouldn’t know anything about her,” I ground out.

Ani’s hand flew up, and I barely had time to grasp her wrist before she slapped me across the face.

“How exactly do you have any place to judge Hen?” she asked, her words coming out hoarse.

“Are you shitting me?” I asked, taking a step back from her.

“You don’t want kids either.”

“I also didn’t get anyone pregnant!” I yelled.

“No, you just took off when you knew there would be a baby anyway,” she said quietly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“This is bullshit,” I murmured, shaking my head in complete bafflement.

“You have no room to judge Hen when you have no idea what was going on,” Ani pressed. “It’s easy to point fingers when the person you’re accusing is dead.”

I looked at her in complete astonishment. Ani was loyal, no doubt about that, but I’d never known her to stick her head in the sand about something important. She knew she didn’t have to defend Henry to me. I loved him. Nothing was going to change that—but that didn’t mean I wasn’t pissed as hell at him.

She was hurting. I could see it so clearly in the way she held her body. The tilt of her head and the cadence of her breath. I knew her from the tips of her fingers to the ends of her toes. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that our argument was no longer about Henry.

“I love you,” I said quietly, watching her as she wrapped her arms around her waist. “I know I’m not good at it, but I’m fucking trying.”

“You can’t keep—” Her words broke off, and it took everything in me not to step forward and pull her against my chest. “I can’t keep doing this. You made your decision before we even got together.”

“Baby,” I murmured as her eyes filled with tears.

I didn’t know what she wanted me to do. I’d do anything. How could she not see that I was all in?

“You can’t stay here anymore,” she rasped, her words like a kick in the gut. “I’m sorry.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head. I knew I was an asshole for taking advantage, but since we’d gotten the news about Henry, I hadn’t been able to sleep without her. I needed her near me. I needed to hear the sound of Arielle’s little sniffles as she slept and feel the weight of Ani’s body against mine, or I couldn’t calm down enough to get any rest.

“Okay,” I murmured, opening my eyes again. “Okay.”

“Is Trevor telling Ellie and Mike?” Ani asked as I turned away from her.

I didn’t know if she was trying to keep me there or if she was seriously curious, but I guessed that it didn’t really matter.

“Yeah,” I said, not looking back. “I’m sure Mom will call you later with the news.”

I walked away while I still could. I wanted to beg her to let me stay—but that would make me such a fucking pussy. She didn’t need that. She was already so overwhelmed with everything that she looked like she was going to fall over at any moment. I’d laid it out for her. I’d told her that I loved her—but it didn’t seem to matter.

“Arielle’s awake,” I called as I checked on the baby girl, kicking her legs in her car seat.

I lifted up the entire seat and held it in front of my face, pulling back slightly when Arie’s little fingers went for my beard. “I’ll see you soon, princess,” I murmured, kissing at her feet while she kicked me in the face. She started to cry when I set the car seat back on the floor, but her mom was in the next room so I only froze for a moment before walking away.

I left Ani’s house with my stomach in knots and both of my girls with tears on their faces.

* * *

“Are you gonna sleep anytime soon?” Alex bitched later that night, lumbering into my room in a pair of sweatpants.

“Sorry,” I replied, tossing another pair of ripped jeans into the pile next to me. When I hadn’t been able to fall asleep, I’d decided to get some shit done, and I was currently going through my clothes to get rid of the stuff I didn’t use.

There was already a huge pile on the floor, because apparently I was a hoarder.

“Come on, brother. It’s three a.m. Go to bed,” Alex ordered, coming up behind me to set his hand on my shoulder.

I sighed heavily and dropped my hands to my knees, stretching my stiff neck from side to side. I was so fucking tired.

“I can’t sleep without her,” I confessed, shaking my head. I reached up to get another pair of pants out of my dresser, but before I could even look at them, Alex was pulling them from my hand and tossing them to the side.