Wallbanger (Cocktail 1)

“Why do all men seem to think they need to rescue a woman? Are we not capable of rescuing our damn selves? Why do I need to be rescued? I don’t need a man to rescue me, and I certainly don’t need no wallbanging, Purina-fucking, listening-at-my-wall-like-a-goddamn-psycho coming over here to rescue me! You got that, mister?”

I was pointing and waving my arms around like someone was going to take them away from me. He had every right to look scared.

“I mean, what the hell is with you men? I’ve got one who wants me back, and one who doesn’t want anything to do with me! One who wants to be my boyfriend, but can’t even remember that I’m an interior designer. Designer! Not a f**king decorator!”

I was on a roll. At this point I was just ranting, plain and simple. I stalked in a circle around Simon, pacing and shouting while he tried to follow me, finally just standing still and watching me with huge eyes.

“I mean, you shouldn’t force someone to eat Vietnamese food if they don’t like Vietnamese food, should you? I shouldn’t have to eat it, should I, Simon?”

“No, Caroline, I don’t think you should—” he started.

“No, of course I shouldn’t, so I got the fried rice! Fried rice, Simon! I’m not gonna eat Vietnamese food ever again—not for James, not for you, not for anyone! You got that?”

“Well, Caroline, I think—”

“And for your information,” I continued, “I did not need a rescue tonight! I took care of it myself. He’s gone. And I know you think James is some kind of psycho, but he isn’t,” I said, beginning to lose momentum. My lower lip quivered again, and I fought it, but finally let go. “He isn’t a bad guy. He just…he just…he just isn’t the right guy for me.” I sighed, sinking down to the floor in front of my bed and holding my head in my hands.

I cried for a moment, while Simon remained frozen above me. I finally looked up at him. “Hello? Girl crying down here!” I sputtered.

He swallowed a smile and sat down in front of me. He pulled me off the floor and gathered me into his arms. And I totally let him. He settled me onto his lap and held me close as I cried into his chest. He was warm and gentle, and even though I knew better—oh, how I knew better—I tucked into the nook and let him comfort me. His hands ran up and down my back as I sobbed, his fingertips making the tiniest of circles on my shoulder blades as I breathed him in. It had been so long since I’d been held, just held, by a man that between the tiny circles and the scent of his fabric softener I was losing my senses.

Finally my sobs began to quiet as he held me close, cross-legged on my floor. “Why didn’t you play me music this week?” I sniffled.

“My needle was broken. I have to get it fixed.”

“Oh, I thought maybe…well, I missed it is all,” I said shyly.

He smoothed back my hair and brought his hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I missed you.” He smiled gently.

“Me too,” I breathed, and his sapphires began to spin. Oh no. No voodoo. “How was Purina? Good? Bet she missed you too,” I whispered and watched his face change.

“Why do you keep bringing up Nadia?”

“I heard you on the phone with her earlier. Sounded like you were making plans.”

“Yes, I met her for drinks.”

“Please. You expect me to believe she didn’t come over?” I asked, noticing I was still on his lap.

“Ask your cat. Did he go crazy tonight?” Simon pointed at Clive, who had returned and was now watching us from the back of the couch.

“No, he didn’t, actually.”

“That’s because she didn’t come over. We met for drinks to say goodbye.” Simon looked at me carefully.

My heart began to beat so loud there was no way he couldn’t hear it. Why did Heart have to be so in to this? “Goodbye?”

“Yep, she’s going back to Moscow to finish her degree there.”

Heart settled down a bit. “Oh, so you said goodbye because she was leaving, not for any other reason. Silly me.” I lifted myself off his lap as he held me closer. I struggled.

“She’s leaving, yes, but that’s not why we said goodbye. I—”

I continued to wiggle. “Wow, only the Giggler left! And then there was one. I guess technically one does not make a harem, so will she be shouldering the load for the others or will you need to be interviewing for some more women? How does that work exactly?” I snapped.

“Actually, I’m going to be having a conversation with Lizzie very soon as well. I think we’re going to be just friends from now on,” he said, watching me closely. “What used to work for me just doesn’t work anymore.”

All stop. What? “It doesn’t work for you anymore?” I breathed, not daring to believe it.

“Mm-hmm,” he answered, his nose dipping down to the skin just below my ear and breathing deep.

Would he notice if I licked his shoulder? Just the tiniest taste?

“Caroline?”

“Yes, Simon?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t play music for you this week. I’m sorry that I…well, let’s just say I’m sorry for a lot of things.”

“Okay,” I breathed.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No, I don’t have any zucchini bread,” I whispered, and his laugh echoed through the room. I laughed along, in spite of myself. I’d missed laughing with Simon.

“Come to Spain with me,” he whispered.

“Wait, what?” I asked again, my voice wavering. What, what, what? “Are you serious?”

“I’m very serious.”

I had to remind myself to breathe. Already heady from the voodoo and fabric softener, I shook my head to clear it. He was going Spain on me?

I was glad he seemed focused on the space behind my ear, because I doubted he’d be as interested if he could see how my eyes were now crossed. I needed a moment. I pulled myself away, finally standing up.

“I’m gonna go wash my face. Don’t go anywhere,” I instructed.

“Sweet Caroline, I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his sexy smile returning.

I made myself walk away. Every step I took, every thunk of my heels on the hardwood was like a chant in my head: Spain. Spain. Spain. Once in the bathroom, I splashed some water on my face, most of it going into my mouth because I couldn’t stop smiling. New harem head count: two down, one to go? There were times to be cautious, and then there were times when you just needed to go balls-out and take a risk. I needed some backbone. I thought about what Jillian had said earlier today, and I went with my impulse. I steeled myself, took out my figurative balls, and headed back out.

“Okay, it’s late, Simon. Time for you to go.” I took him by the hand, pulled him off the floor, and led him toward the front door.

“Um, really? You want me to go? Don’t you want to, I don’t know…talk a little more?” he asked. “I wanted to tell you how—”

I continued to pull him. “Nope. No more talking tonight. I’m tired.” I opened my door and ushered him out to the landing. He started to say something else, and I held up two fingers. “I need to say two things, okay? Two things.”

He nodded.

“First, you hurt my feelings in Tahoe,” I began, and he tried to interrupt me. “Shut it, Simon. I don’t want a rehash. But just know you hurt me. Don’t do it again,” I finished. I couldn’t stop my smile when I saw his reaction.

His eyes hit the floor, his entire body contrite. “Caroline, I’m really sorry about all that. You have to know that I just wanted to—”

“Apology accepted.” I smiled again and began to close my door.

His head popped up immediately. “Wait, wait. What was the second thing?” he called, leaning into my doorway. I stepped closer to him, bringing my body within inches of his. I could feel the heat of his skin across the tiny space between us, and I closed my eyes against the onslaught of emotions. I breathed deep and opened my eyes to look in to the sexy sapphires gazing down at me.

“I’m coming with you to Spain,” I said. And with a wink, I closed the door in his astonished face.

Chapter Fifteen

“EGGS SUNNY-SIDE UP, bacon, wheat toast with raspberry jelly.”

“Oatmeal with raisins, currants, cinnamon, and brown sugar, side of sausage links.”

“Belgian waffles, fruit cup, bacon and sausage,” Sophia said, completing our order and earning a raised eyebrow from both Mimi and me.

“What? I’m hungry.”

“Nice to see you getting a real breakfast for a change. Must have been working up an appetite with Mr. Mitchell last night, hmmm?” I teased, winking at Mimi over my orange juice.

The three of us were together for breakfast on a Sunday, something we hadn’t done since Tahoe. They’d been busily settling into the life of new coupledom with their recently switched boyfriends, which left me out most of the time. When they were dating the wrong guys they were always more than happy to have me along—the more the merrier they’d say. It helped when there was no real chemistry. But now? Mimi and Sophia were definitely with the right guys and enjoying every second of it.

Initially I’d been a little worried that the Parent Trap shenanigans would make things uncomfortable, but the ladies had made me proud. They took it in stride, and since each wound up with her new better half, all my worries went by the wayside.

We giggled as we got caught up on friendly gossip, waiting until the food arrived for any big news, as was protocol.

“Okay, who’s going first? Who has news?” Mimi began, and we settled into our ritual. Sophia paused from shoveling in the waffles, indicating that she would serve the first volley.

“Neil has to go to LA for a sportswriters in television conference, and he asked me to go with him,” she offered. Mimi and I nodded.

“Ryan is thinking of letting me reorganize his home office. You should see it—his filing system alone made me break out in hives,” Mimi reported, shuddering.

“Natalie Nicholson referred two new clients to me—Nob Hill, very posh, thank you very much,” I added, pouring myself more coffee from the carafe as they congratulated me.

We chewed.

“Neil talks in his sleep. It’s the cutest thing. He calls out football scores.”

“Ryan let me paint his toenails last night.”

“I told Simon I’d go to Spain with him.”

Here’s the thing about a spit take. In the movies, they’re hysterical. In real life, they’re just messy.

“Wait a minute, wait a goddamn minute…what?” Sophia sputtered, juice still dribbling down her chin.

“Caroline, you told him what?” Mimi managed, still choking as she waved the waiter over for more napkins.

“I told him I’d go to Spain with him. No big deal.” I grinned. It was a big deal indeed.

“I can’t believe you had the nerve to sit here and talk about random shit all morning and not tell us this. When did this happen?” Sophia asked, leaning forward on her elbows.

“The night I went on a date with James.” I smiled.

“Okay, that’s it. No more dicking around—spill it.” Mimi rounded on me with a butter knife and a frown.

“What the hell, Caroline? I can’t believe you kept all this from us. When did you go on a date with James? And don’t you dare leave anything out. Tell us everything now, or I’ll let Mimi loose on you!” Sophia warned. Mimi gestured again in a menacing way with her knife—in a very West Side Story menacing way, mind you. I imagined an actual fight with Mimi would involve hitch kicks and barrel turns…

Nevertheless, I took a deep breath and spilled. All of it. Why I went out with James, the feelings that had been percolating with Simon, how James called me a decorator, how I kicked him out. They listened intently, only interjecting occasionally when they needed clarification.

“I’m so proud of you,” Sophia said when I’d finished. Mimi nodded in agreement.

“For what?”

“Caroline, there was a time when if James told you to jump, you’d f**king jump. I guess we worried him showing back up in your life would take you back to being that girl again,” Sophia explained.

“I know you were worried. You’re both sweet, and no one will ever take care of me as well as you, even though you worry like old chickens in a henhouse.” I smiled at my fierce ladies.

“So you sent James Brown packing, and then what happened?” Sophia asked, and I finished the last of the story: Simon’s entry, his apology, the disappearing Purina, his invitation…

“So you just, had this epiphany in the bathroom, just like that? Go to Spain with Simon?” Mimi finally asked.

“Yep. I didn’t really overthink it. I just, I can’t explain it…I just know I should go on this trip. I mean, I’ve always wanted to go to Spain, and I know he’ll be a good tour guide, and come on, how much fun will it be? We’ll have a blast together!”

“Bullshit,” Sophia stated simply.

“Come again?”

“I call bullshit, Caroline. You’re going because you want something to happen there with him. Don’t deny it.” She eyed me severely.

“I deny nothing,” I quipped, signaling the waiter for our check.

“No more harem, huh?” Mimi asked.

“So it would seem. I’m not a fool. I know a man like him doesn’t change overnight, but if the Giggler is out of the way before Spain? Well, then, that’s a Simon of a different color, now isn’t it?” I grinned cheekily, wiggling my eyebrows at my girls.