Last Call (Cocktail 5)

Deep thoughts. Although it was hard to sit by the ocean and think shallow thoughts, my mind seemed to always go toward the heavy. It would default to melancholy sometimes; why was that?

“Babe, it’s freezing out there, aren’t you cold?” Simon called from inside.

“It’s not too bad, actually. The fresh air feels nice,” I called back. His footsteps grew louder as he came to the door and slid the glass all the way back.

“Seriously, freezing.”

“Seriously, come warm me up, then,” I replied, shaking my bottom at him slightly. Arms were wound around my waist within seconds. He pulled me back against his chest, hands wrapped around my hips, as I snuggled against him. “This feels nice.”

“Agreed,” he said into my hair, nuzzling my neck. “So what are you thinking about out here all by yourself?”

“Just watching the waves,” I said, sliding my hands into his and wrapping them more firmly around my waist.

“You never just watch the waves, Caroline. You’re thinking about something.”

“I do too just watch the waves. Look how beautiful it is,” I said, scanning the horizon left to right. The waves, the beach, the endless stars . . .

“It is beautiful,” he agreed. “But I know you were thinking about something out here. You were sighing every thirty seconds.”

“I was?” I asked, surprised.

“Sure—that’s when I know something’s on your mind. Your sighs are off the chart when something’s up, babe.”

“What? Wait, what?” I asked again, turning around in his arms to stare up at him.

“You think I can’t tell, after all this time, when you’ve got something working up there?” he asked, dropping a kiss on my nose. “So out with it: what’s got you sighing on a balcony?”

I sighed without thinking, causing a crease to appear on his forehead as he tried not to laugh. I looked at his face and rolled my eyes a little. Just the one roll.

“Okay, yes.” I sighed. “And okay, yes, maybe I was thinking some thoughts.”

“Care to share?” he asked, and I took the opportunity to press my face into his chest. “Oh, it’s like that, is it? No sharing?”

“No no, it’s not that. I don’t know that I was necessarily thinking anything—just very vague ideas floating around, not even really thoughts yet. Like, thought . . . adjacent.”

“Oh boy, we are really going all around this one.” He chuckled. “So let’s start with the thought adjacent. What’s up, babe?”

“Have you ever watched waves and wondered, what if one wave wanted to go in another direction?”

“Watched waves, yes. Thought about assigning intelligent thought to waves? Nope. Can’t say that I have.” He looked more closely at me. “But now I’m curious. What thoughts do you think these waves are having?”

“It’s not the waves, per se. Just . . . the idea that they have no choice. They have their path, and that’s it. All roads lead to the beach.”

“What a terrible road,” he teased, and I socked him.

“You asked for my thoughts; these are my thoughts. I didn’t say they made any sense—they hadn’t gotten to that point yet,” I said, and he held me closer.

“Nightie Girl, your thoughts make perfect sense, considering the dinner conversation tonight.”

“Huh?”

“The panic on your face when you thought someone was asking about us getting married. Now you’re out here worrying about waves making different choices. Not that hard a leap to make. It’s not like I just met you, you know.” I could feel him smiling against my neck, and if it was possible for me to hold him tighter, I wasn’t aware of it.

“I wasn’t panicked; it just surprised me, is all. And then when it wasn’t actually about me, about us . . . I don’t know, I just . . . I wasn’t prepared to answer that question, I guess.”

“What if I were the one asking it?”

“Wait . . . what?” I asked, lifting my chin and looking up at him. In the moonlight, his eyes were the deepest blue, and fixed solidly on me. Studying me, looking for a reaction. “You’re not asking me to—”

“No, I’m not asking you to . . . Just asking you how you feel about it, in the general sense. No panic, please.”

“I’m not panicking. I’m perfectly calm,” I answered, then showed him my best facial tic.

“That’s sexy, babe,” he said, and laughed.

“You’re asking me how I feel about marriage in general, or marriage with someone specific in mind?”

“Either. Or both.”

I leaned back to look at him, his hands still on my waist. “I think marriage in the general sense is something I’m in favor of. I also think there’s something to be said for the saying ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ It seems to be working for Chloe and Lucas. On the other hand,” I said, sliding my hands up his arms to link behind his neck, “I think marriage with someone specific in mind is also something I’m in favor of—although it would depend on who the someone specific is, of course. Is there a candidate?”

“Possibly,” he answered, beginning to slowly reel me back in closer to his chest. “Very possibly.”

“Is he tall? Witty? Charming? Impossibly good looking?” I asked.