The Nanny Trap
“Today you let me go on and on about growing up on the farm. I’d love to hear a little bit about your childhood.”
Beneath her cheek, Blake’s chest froze as if his breath had stopped. It was a long moment before he spoke. “Mostly it was lonely.”
“Because your dad worked so much?”
“And because my mother spent more than half the year in Paris. Then she moved there permanently shortly after I turned eight.”
He was so terse that Bella wondered if she should have left well enough alone. “Is that why you never talk about her?”
“There isn’t much to talk about. She was beautiful and sang in French when she was happy. Often when I came home from school, she would be sitting by the window staring out at the park.”
Bella’s chest ached at the images of his childhood that his words conjured. No wonder he’d been so furious with her for deciding against staying in Drew’s life. He didn’t want his son to lack for a mother’s love. Even a surrogate mom. “Do you ever speak with her?”
“Every birthday she sends me a card. It’s the only contact we have.”
“Is that a mutual decision?”
“When I was a kid, she never responded to any of my letters or answered when I called her. In time I gave up. After my dad died, she tried to get ahold of me, but I was old enough not to need her anymore.”
Blake’s blunt words and neutral tone wrenched at Bella, but there was more she had to know.
“Do you know why she left?”
“My father told me she missed her family in Paris. I imagine she thought he would make all her dreams come true when she married him, but he worked all the time and she was lonely.”
“I’m sure that was very hard on you.”
Another man with Blake’s experience might never open himself up to love and marriage. It said a great deal about his strong, passionate heart that he’d let Victoria in. Bella could only hope the next woman he chose would be worthy of him.
“It took me a long time to accept that it wasn’t my fault she left.”
Bella ached for every day that Blake had carried the burden of his mother’s abandonment. Often when Mommy or Daddy left, the remaining parent didn’t explain to their children that adults could be selfish. She suspected Blake’s father had been one of those.
“Now perhaps you understand why it was so important that you be in Drew’s life.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about that,” she began, pushing up on her elbow so she could gaze into Blake’s eyes. “I want to be in Drew’s life. Our connection might be a bit unconventional, but I should be there for him whether or not he needs me.”
Blake cupped her cheek and pulled her toward him for a long, slow kiss. There was more gratitude than passion in the contact, but Bella was smiling when he released her.
His intense blue-gray eyes were soft with appreciation as he gazed at her. “Thank you.”
“I should be the one to thank you. Drew is special. I’m so glad to be a part of his life.”
“I intend for you to be part of my life, as well,” Blake declared as he rolled her onto her back and blurred her thoughts with another heart-stopping kiss.
As he began making love to her all over again, Bella mulled his words and wondered what the future would hold once they returned to New York City and settled back into their separate lives. The freedom she’d craved grew less and less appealing with each day that passed, and it was becoming more and more clear that the obligations she hoped to avoid by not having a family were not easy to shake even if she wanted to.
And now she was caught in a dilemma of her own making. She was falling in love with the man who’d fathered the child she’d given up. The responsibilities she’d hoped to avoid were now what she longed to have. Marriage. Children. She wanted it all. And with the man who, if he ever discovered how she’d conspired with his wife to deceive him, would never be able to forgive her.
*
While the hallways and offices of his New York City investment company hummed industriously beyond his closed door, Blake sat in the stillness of his large corner office and eyed the selection of engagement rings the jeweler had brought for his inspection. There were probably a hundred carats of diamonds twinkling at him, each more beautiful than the last. The decision was easy. His eye had fallen on the ring immediately. It was simply a matter of indicating his choice.
The jeweler sat across the desk from him as if he had all the time in the world. Blake appreciated the silence, because he wasn’t just picking out a ring—he was making a decision that would affect the rest of his life.