Promise Me This (Between Breaths 4)

“It’s cool man, I get it,” Bennett said, letting me off the hook. “I do think I already know some of it, so someday when we’re alone, maybe you can tell me the rest.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks, man.”

“Not a problem,” he said, and then followed my gaze over to Jessie again.

“I’ll figure it all out,” I said. “I’m not trying to hurt her, man.”

I was saying so damn much in that sentence that Bennett wasn’t even aware of.

“Oh, I’m not worried you’ll hurt her. Jessie is strong, independent, amazing really,” he said ticking off the qualities I liked about her already. “I’m afraid you’ll be the one that ends up hurt if you don’t get your ass in gear.”

I was left reeling from his comment as Cory called Bennett’s name, attempting to pull him into whatever game they were playing.

Fuck, he was right, as was evidenced by what was happening right in front of me at the bar.

A few minutes later, Jessie stood and headed down the hall toward the bathroom. I saw the guy check her out the whole way across the bar and then he got up to move in that direction. No fucking way would she invite that shit from him. I bolted upright, my chair practically crashing to the floor, my hands clenched into fists.

The entire table looked up at me but I didn’t give a shit.

“What the hell, man?” Cory said, but I ignored him.

I stalked after Jessie into the hallway. When I saw the same dude talking to her against the wall, my chest seized up, and I was unable to inhale a decent breath.

“You okay, Jessie?” I said as I neared her.

She looked over his shoulder and rolled her eyes. Actually fucking rolled her eyes at me. What in the hell?

The guy turned and looked me up and down. “She’s fine. We’re just talking.”

Then he spun back to Jessie and said, “Who the hell is that?”

But before Jessie could answer I cut in. “All you’re doing is talking, huh? That’s why you follow a girl down a dark hall after you just got done hitting on her for a long time at the bar?”

Jessie’s jaw hung open as her eyes flared at me. Actually flared. Did she want to be with this guy? I didn’t give two shits; she wasn’t going to be. Not as long as I could help it.

“Rich boy, take a hike,” the dude with the crazy neck tattoos and ear gauges said. “Unless you want to deal with me.”

“He’s a friend looking out for me, that’s all.” Jessie pushed away from him and backed herself toward the restroom door. “And he could probably take you down, in case you haven’t already gotten a good look at his guns. So both of you just leave me the hell alone and let me pee in peace.”

The dude gave me another once-over before he prowled past me back to the bar. Jessie stepped into the bathroom but before she could close the door, I pushed my way inside.

She backed herself against the sink, surprised by my intrusion, and suddenly I remembered how she’d walked in on me that night while I had a girl in here in much the same position. I think she remembered as well because there was this look in her eye that was a cross between desire and rigidity.

“Really, Nate?” she said, her hands planted firmly on her hips, much like that one night. “You’re gonna go all caveman on me just because some guy was talking to me at the bar?”

I stepped closer and saw how her breathing faltered.

“I thought you like how I go all caveman on you,” I said, now running my fingers up her leg to her hip.

She inhaled sharply. “Sure I like it in the bedroom, but in public, not so much.”

Something about that statement made the synapses fire inside my brain.

“What’s the difference?” I said inching nearer and trailing my nose along her jawline.

“The difference is . . . that one is behind closed doors and is about playing a role during . . . s . . . sex,” she said, almost breathless. “The other is in front of other people and makes you look like an ass.”

God, Jessie was such an enigma. Submissive in bed and assertive in every other area in her life. Was that possible—to only play a certain role in the bedroom and not have it infiltrate other areas of your life?

Did that mean I could keep my different tastes, desires, and personas separate as well?

I thought about my parents. My father wanted to control my mother in every possible way and he did it with fear, by ruling with an iron fist.

But I didn’t want to control Jessie or anybody else for that matter.

So what was that shit I just pulled in the hallway?

That was jealousy, plain and simple. Something I’d never felt before. Because I wanted this girl, more that I ever wanted anybody else in my life. And I didn’t know how to make her mine without fucking everything else up.

I ground my hips into hers so that she knew just how turned on she’d made me. My lips were hot on her neck as they trailed up to her ear. “I want to bend you over this sink right now and show you just how caveman I can be.”

I felt her knees quiver against mine.

“Yeah?” she whispered. “Would you spank me, Nate?”

“Fuck,” I moaned, right before my mouth crashed down on hers. My tongue invaded her mouth and she whimpered as I licked and nibbled and tasted her.

“I’d want nothing more than to have you take me like that, Nate,” she said, panting hard.

And then suddenly she straightened herself and thrust me back forcefully. “But you can’t have it both ways, even if you’re working some shit out.”