There You Stand (Between Breaths 5)

“Perfect,” he said.

“I’ll bring all his supplies,” I said, wincing. “I’m beginning to feel guilty.”

“You’ll still see him whenever you want,” he said. “Maybe we can walk them to the dog park, too.”

I liked that he was making plans—that he was attempting to stick to a normal life and routine.

Wariness filled his gaze. “Are we still going to meet at the competition next week?”

“For sure,” I said and he seemed relieved.

After another long stretch of quiet, where the only sound was the dull thud of rain battering the rooftop, I pulled the needle away from Jude’s skin and shut off the machine.

“All done.” I reached for the hand mirror. “Let me show you.”

When he sat up I positioned the mirror behind him.

I pointed to the section where I’d worked in the letters. “What do you think?”

“Your work is incredible,” he said, shutting his eyes and visibly trembling. “It’s as if you took something dreadful and turned it into something . . . something . . .”

He didn’t say anything for a long stretch and shit, I thought maybe I had done the wrong thing. That the memories would be too strong for him.

My hand slammed over my mouth and I wasn’t sure what to do, if he even wanted me to touch him right then.

“Fuck,” I finally said, reaching for his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe I shouldn’t have . . .”

But when he opened his eyes they were watery, the corners creased with happiness. His fingers gripped my neck and his thumb swiped against my throat.

“It’s brilliant,” he said, gulping in air. “The loveliest thing anybody’s ever done for me.”

Chapter Twenty-eight

I borrowed my grandmother’s car to drop off Chopper, along with his dog bed, food bowl, and favorite chew toys.

There was a large pit in my stomach because it felt like I was abandoning him. But even Gram assured me that I was simply giving him to another good home. That Patch might be a better match for me and Ace anyway.

After I pulled into the driveway, I hopped out of the car with Chopper, who seemed to remember Jude’s place and tugged me straight to the door. I had a feeling he wouldn’t even give two shits about me after today.

Jude stepped out on the landing to greet Chopper with a stunning smile draped across his cheeks. He was taking a small piece of his life back and right then, he was so self-possessed and beautiful.

“You sure about this?” I asked, standing in front of him with my hands shoved deep in my pockets.

“I’m sure,” he said, opening the side gate to allow Chopper on the small strip of grass in the backyard. He immediately pissed on the first flowerbed he saw, already marking his territory. “I haven’t had anything permanent in a long time.”

“And Chopper is permanent?” I asked, watching the damn dog sniff and mark along the entire fence line of the property.

“You don’t agree to care for somebody and then throw them away the next day,” he said, smiling at Chopper, apparently happy that he was making himself at home. “Not on purpose anyway.”

My knees wobbled as my heart battered around my chest. He stared hard into my eyes and I got that he was saying many things at once. That he was not only giving us a chance, but giving his new life a chance as well.

“And what if you have the impulse to run away?”

It was a fear I wasn’t sure I should’ve voiced out loud, but there it was in all its brilliance.

“It wouldn’t be an impulse,” he said, steadying his gaze on me, unflustered by my twenty questions over a dog. “Maybe an instinct. And it would only be likely if there was real danger.”

“What would happen to . . . to . . . Chopper?”

He raised his eyebrow, knowing full well I wasn’t only asking about Chopper.

“I’d find some way to protect and care for him.”

I kicked at a stone on the ground, unable to meet his gaze. “Would you come back . . . if you thought the threat was gone?”

“Always.” He reached for my hand before looking to the street and then allowing it to fall away. “Come inside, please.”

I followed him through the door, telling myself it was only to get Chopper acclimated. But Chopper seemed right at home as he bound to the kitchen and lapped at the water in the dish that Jude had set down.

“I can’t stay long,” I said, feeling almost shy, like it was my first time at his place. “I have a shift at Raw Ink.”

He nodded. “I just finished my morning at the Board Room, but I’ll be heading to the skate park.”

“What was that one trick I saw you practicing the other day?” I asked, watching Chopper sniff around the room.

“Hmmm . . . the one-eighty pop shuvit?” he said, shrugging. “The one I really want to trick out on someday is the upside-down three-sixty loop. But I need a pipe for that. They’ll have one at the arena for the upcoming games.”

“A pipe?”

“A curved wall with a lip so that I can hang upside down.”

“Holy Christ, you’re going to maim yourself,” I said.

He laughed. “It’s a difficult trick but I’m definitely up for the challenge.”

Suddenly he grabbed my face and backed me against the wall, kissing me hard and deep and desperate. Like he was releasing it all—giving it all to me. “I don’t want to talk right now. I want to taste you.”