Four Beautiful Letters (Desire Island 4)

It was quite a contrast to the peacefully breaking waves and seagull cries she’d enjoyed over the past week on the island, but she loved the sounds of the city just as much, if not more.

And Nick lived only a subway ride away.

For a sudden, insane instant, she very nearly turned around and dashed out the door. They’d exchanged contact information and she’d looked up his address—a swanky, doorman-attended building near Central Park. She could call for an Uber and be there in under an hour.

Except that he wasn’t there.

She pulled her cell from her bag and read his text message again, just in case she’d gotten it wrong. But no. The words hadn’t changed.

“Hey, there. I know we were planning to meet as soon as you got back. Unfortunately, I have to fly down to Houston tomorrow. I’ve finally got this deal back on track, but there’s a venture capital group down there I want to meet with face-to-face before I bring them onboard. I should be back early tomorrow evening. I can’t wait to see you, sexy girl!”

She’d resisted the urge to retort something extremely snarky, instead only replying, “Good luck with your venture capitalists.”

But now, alone in her apartment, she didn’t have to hide her true feelings. She didn’t need to put on a brave face or pretend she was as cool with all this as Nick seemed to be.

But underlying the frustration, her heart actually ached with the absence of him. She pressed her hand to her chest, as if that would ease the pain. She’d let down her guard, and Nick had come tumbling into her life, whether she wanted him there or not.

During their insanely brief but passionately intense connection, she’d finally found someone she could trust, totally and completely. He not only understood her need for dark, edgy erotic intensity, he embraced it along with her. Even within the BDSM scene, that kind of connection was as rare as hen’s teeth.

Now she was forced to ask herself—was what they’d shared something that could only exist in the rarified air of a place like Desire Island? Could that sort of intensity and passion continue now that they were back in the real world?

It takes two, Sophia, a voice whispered in her head. If you shut him out—if you’re too afraid to take the chance, then you’ll definitely be left with only memories.

Sophia sighed. The little voice was right. But it wasn’t only up to her.

Following Nick’s departure, the rest of her vacation had played out well enough. She’d refused to sulk. Instead, she’d flung herself into various seminars, especially enjoying the BDSM yoga relaxation and positions classes offered by a lively, friendly staff slave called Abbie. Though Sophia wasn’t at all flexible or particularly graceful, when she took the classes with the serenely smiling Abbie, she’d been able to fully relax, putting all thoughts of Nick aside, at least for that hour. And she’d had one more surfing lesson, which had been fun. She’d actually managed to stand up on the board, even if it had been for less than three seconds.

She’d gone to the dungeon parties each night as well, engaging in casual scenes with guys whose names she forgot almost before she knew them. While none of the scenes came close to the intensity of experience and passion she’d found with Nick, she’d managed to enjoy herself, more or less.

Nick had texted her perhaps a dozen times since he’d left the island. It was mostly sexy banter, mixed in with his continued apologies for cutting his vacation short, and excitement at seeing her again. She’d texted back light, breezy responses. She’d kept her stronger feelings under wraps, both the positive and the negative.

They hadn’t spoken on the phone, though he’d called and left voice messages a few times. Several times she’d picked up her phone, her fingers poised to return the calls, but she hadn’t followed through. She’d been afraid her anger would come out, and she would start making demands on a man who, despite their astonishing connection, she really had no claim on.

Now, she went into her bedroom, most of which was taken up with a wonderful Henredon dark ash sleigh bed she’d found at a barn sale in Pennsylvania Dutch country. Though she was in desperate need of a shower, the bed was calling her name, with its brightly patterned Mennonite patchwork quilt and pile of down pillows.

Giving in to temptation, she flung herself onto the bed with a contented sigh. There was nothing like your own pillows on your own bed, especially after having been away. She closed her eyes and fell almost at once into a deep sleep, too exhausted even to dream.

~*~

Nick had been working pretty much nonstop since he’d returned to New York, trying to salvage the teetering Cabot deal. Brian’s inability to cope on his own had made some things clear to Nick, not so much about Brian but about himself. While he’d brought Brian in with the intention of making him a full-fledged partner, he’d always held such tight reins on the business that Brian hadn’t really had a chance to get his feet wet and his hands dirty. With Nick always right there, he wasn’t used to handling crises on his own.