Shame Me Not
The lights over the vanity in the white bathroom seemed blinding from the dim hallway. I scrunched my eyes against the glare and looked around. Gwen sat on the floor, leaning against the bathtub with her head bowed over her bent knees. Her dark hair spilled over her arms and my chest pinched as her shoulders shook with sobs. Despite her angry attack and accusations, she was still my friend, and I hated to see her hurting.
“Gwen,” I whispered, not wanting to scare her or make her scream since she hadn’t heard me enter.
Turned out it didn’t matter.
Her head jerked up at the sound of my voice. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face blotchy.
“Get out!”
I jumped, unprepared for how loud she was. But I ignored her, stepping in and shut the door. I slid down the wall, her glare on me the whole time.
“Are you deaf? I said, get the fuck out.”
I infused some brightness into my voice and held up my offerings. “No, but I have tequila. And limes.”
Gwen rolled her eyes but still reached out to grab the bottle. She cracked the seal and took a swig, forgoing the lime. I was a mixture of worried and a little impressed as she drank it so easily.
“I figured you would have chased after your boyfriend by now.”
“He’s just my friend, Gwen.” I’d decided when I came into the bathroom to help her, and that meant being what she needed. Right then, she needed me to be a man-bashing, female-supporting enthusiast. “But so are you. And chicks before dicks and all that.”
My lame saying worked and pulled a laugh from her. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and took another swig of tequila. Staring at the wall, she shook her head. If she needed me to, I was prepared to sit there all night in silence, but didn’t have to wait long before she started talking. “God.” She choked out another laugh that held no humor. “A whole year. What a waste.”
“C’mon. It’s not a waste.” She gave me a fierce side-eye at that comment. “I’m sure you got something out of it. A lesson learned? Became a little wiser?” I offered. “Besides, it’s summer. You’ll have three months of not seeing his stupid face and all that time to find a new boy toy.”
Her eyes squinted. “Shouldn’t be too hard.” She shrugged. “I’m pretty hot.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Gwen passed the bottle, and I took the world’s tiniest sip and then sucked the shit out of the lime, trying my hardest to hold back my shudder. So gross.
“Sorry for being a bitch out there. You’re a good friend to come and get me drunk after all that.”
I passed the bottle back to her and shrugged, taking the opportunity to lighten things up. “It’s okay. I’m pretty hot too. It’s hard to imagine anyone who wouldn’t want me.”
My plan worked, and she choked on her sip of tequila, making us both laugh.
“Okay, let’s get you up off this floor and find you a ride home. The party’s dying down anyway.” I didn’t know if it was, but I knew leaving her there wasn’t a good idea. She was drunk and needed to get home before she ended up making any bad decisions in her frame of mind.
Once I’d detached Chloe from Josh’s face, I was able to convince her to leave and take Gwen home. No longer having the distraction of worrying about her, I was finally able to go see Kevin.
Then it hit me, almost making me stumble on the sidewalk, Gwen was no longer a distraction to Kevin either. She’d been a solid reason for me to stop thinking of Kevin as anyone more than a friend, but after tonight, she was no longer a valid excuse.
My steps picked up, along with my heartbeat, as I got closer to home to see how Kevin was doing. Originally, I’d wanted to chase Kevin down and see that he was okay.
After all, he was my friend.
My now without-a-girlfriend, friend.
Fuck.
Chapter Six
Kevin
I stretched out on the roof, feeling the rough grit of the shingles dig into my back. My hands rested on my stomach and I focused on the rise and fall of my chest. It took a while, but eventually my breathing began to calm down. Hearing Gwen screaming like that in front of all our friends, making a scene, and then dragging Ana into it, I had to get out of there. The fast-paced walk home hadn’t done anything to calm me down.
I hadn’t planned on breaking up with her there. But when she arrived, I could smell the alcohol on her breath. She clung to me for the whole hour I’d managed to stomach her behavior, but I became more and more irritated as her touches grew bolder. I shouldn’t have been bothered by my girlfriend rubbing on me, but there I was, imagining shrugging her off.