Shame Me Not

I’d almost moved to Louisville to be with him and was glad when I’d followed my gut and held off. It would have been a waste of our time, and my mom had taken a turn for the worst only a year later. I would’ve had to move back anyway.

When our relationship ended, a part of me wanted to contact Kevin, and I kept my eyes glued to his house anytime I went home, but I never saw him, and I feared seeing him with a woman or a family of his own. Then I would remind myself of all the reasons I’d walked away in the first place.

I taught at a high school and was happy at my job, well-respected there. I didn’t want to jeopardize that or make anyone question my character.

“Jesus, did you keep every band T-shirt you ever owned?” Kevin asked going through the three bottom drawers of my dresser.

“Just my favorites.”

“So, all of them.”

I laughed. He knew me so well. Knew how much I’d loved collecting band T-shirts. He’d even added to the collection when he could for birthdays and holidays.

“Oh, I remember this one,” he said, holding up my threadbare Coheed and Cambria shirt. “Fuck, you didn’t wear a bra with this shirt, and I jacked off to that image for months.”

“Kevin,” I shouted, shocked.

“What? You were hot.”

“That was back when I first moved next door. I had no idea you thought of me like that then.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me and pinched his lips, looking at me like I was an idiot to not have known. I’d had no clue. “I was always into you.”

“Oh . . . I just thought it was because we were,” I paused to think on my words, “we were into the same things.”

“Ana.” His serious tone called me to stop looking at the floor and up to him. “I’d always liked you. You were hot, funny, gave me shit, and you were my best friend.”

“Oh, were you into Sean too since he was funny, gave you shit, and was your best friend,” I joked.

“Ha. Ha.”

“Did he know just the right way to please you?” I taunted him more, making a blow job motion with my hand and mouth. His eyes heated and he let out a low growl.

The ringing doorbell saved me from seeing where our conversation was heading.

I ran down the stairs and opened the door to the sexy blond-haired girl I hadn’t seen since I got back from Tennessee so long ago.

“Gwen,” I exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.

“Hey, girl, hey.” She air-kissed my cheeks and stepped into the house carrying two pizza boxes. “Hey, Kevin. Long time no see.”

“Hey, Gwen,” he gave her a side hug and took the pizzas from her hands.

She pulled me back into a hug and whispered, “I’m sorry I couldn’t make the funeral.”

“It’s okay. It’s good to see you now.”

“Yeah, I saw your car in the driveway on my way out and decided to take a chance to bring pizza and crash your party. Didn’t know I would get to see both you and Kevin.” She winked at him. “Looking good, Kevin.”

Grinning, he gave her a simple “thanks,” and I had to fight the urge to growl at her to back off. Gwen had no reason to flirt with Kevin other than to mess with him. She had married a guy she’d met in college and been happy ever since. We didn’t keep in touch too much other than Facebook, which I broke down and got at her urging.

“What would you have done if we weren’t here?” I asked.

“Then I’d eat this whole damn pizza by myself. Shamelessly.”

“God, I missed you, Gwen,” I laughed. “Come on. We can take a break and eat.”

We walked to the kitchen and gathered paper plates since I’d already packed up the dishes. Kevin ran upstairs to grab his shirt.

“So, what have you been up to all week?” she asked with a mouth full of food.

“Kevin has been helping me pack up. I need to get the house on the market.”

“I’m sorry, Ana. I know that must be hard. Are you staying here?”

“She’s staying with me,” Kevin interjected, having come back from collecting his shirt, thank god.

“Oh really?” Gwen turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “So, are you guys . . . together?”

My laugh came out a little forced. “No, no. He’s just helping me out so I’m not here alone.”

“You always were so devoted to her, Kev.”

“What can I say? She’s my best friend.”

I took a bite of pizza to hide the smile I couldn’t hold back. We’d been around each other for only a week after a long time apart, and I loved that he still thought of me that way. I’d truly missed him.

“So, what’s happening with you, Gwen?” Kevin asked.