Shame Me Not

My mom stood and came to me with outstretched arms. “Hey, baby.” She hugged me and pulled back, looking me over with a furrowed brow. “Did you run here?”

“I came as soon as Ana called. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Language, Kevin.” My dad issued a warning as he pulled me in for a back-slapping hug.

“Sorry. I just didn’t expect you guys to be here. What’s going on?”

“Natasha had a spill,” my mom answered. “I guess she cut herself before she landed and hit her head on the tiles. The nurse aide was worried that it took her a moment to wake up and called an ambulance. We were just coming home when it pulled up and decided to follow her here so she wasn’t alone. I wasn’t sure how long it would take for Ana to get here.”

“Okay. Okay,” I repeated, trying to process the information. My hand rubbed over my face and dug into my hair as I looked around, trying to think of what to do. Did I call Ana? Did she need me? How did I get to her? I was saved from answering when the doors to the rooms opened and Ana came walking out.

When her gray eyes locked on mine, she picked up her pace, slamming into me, holding on tight with her head buried in my chest. My arms circled her shaking body and I rubbed my hand up and down her back. “Shh. It’s okay, Ana. I got you. It’s okay.”

I didn’t know if she heard me, but I rested my head on hers, and pulled her into me as tightly as possible, as if I could shield her from her problems. Once she stopped shaking, I loosened my hold and leaned back to try and look at her. She lifted her head, and I hurt for her, seeing her red, swollen eyes. She looked tired and scared, and I wanted nothing more than to take it all away.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Of course I came.” I brushed the hair back from her wet cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Whenever you need me, I’m there. Now tell me what’s going on.”

My parents directed us over to the blue cushioned chairs in the empty waiting room. I made sure to sit next to Ana and keep her hand in mine, linking our pinkies. My parents didn’t say anything about how we acted exactly like we did in high school, even after three years. My mom had stopped asking about Ana by the time college picked up, but I don’t think she ever gave up hope we’d find each other again.

“Apparently, Mom was cooking and had a dizzy spell. Her chemo has been pretty aggressive and the doctor said that was probably the reason for her fall. It wouldn’t have been so bad except she managed to cut her arm on the knife she was using and hit her head hard enough to knock her out. She needed a few stitches on her arm and they said she had a minor concussion. They want to keep her for observation just to make sure it isn’t anything else.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” my mom said, reaching out to squeeze Ana’s knee. “If there’s anything we can do, just let us know.”

“Thank you. When I told my mom you all came, she said she wouldn’t mind visitors before visiting hours ended. If you don’t mind staying a little longer, I know she’d love to see you. You know how she is, always the social butterfly.” Ana managed to squeak out a laugh.

It was good to hear, even a small one, after watching her break down a few moments earlier.

I hadn’t seen Natasha since last summer when I was home for a visit, and I struggled to control my face at seeing her when I walked into her room. Ana’s mom had always been thin, but her face was gaunt and pale under the hospital lights. She had a brightly colored scarf tied around her head which brought out the same blue eyes as Ana’s. Despite the eye makeup she was wearing, I could see dark circles under her eyes. And as usual, a bold red lipstick highlighted her smiling lips.

“Oh, good,” she said as cheerfully as her tired voice would allow. I expected her to zero in on me with narrowed eyes. Ana’s mom had manners in spades and would never go so far as to be rude, but the blame she laid at my feet for Ana leaving had never been a secret. But instead, she turned to me with a smile, her eyes taking in my hand at Ana’s back. “I’m so glad to see you all. I figured I could use some company before I’m left all alone in this room for the night. Although, I think I can talk the nurse out there into playing cards with me,” she said with a wink. Turning to Ana, who had moved to sit beside her. She gave her a nudge and whispered, “He’s younger than me, but I think I can convince him.”