Teacher - Voyeur

Behind his bite was concern wrapped in misplaced guilt.

He blamed himself a lot for not being on the family vacation we’d taken—the one where Sofia and I snuck out to a bar and never came back. He’d bailed at the last minute because of work, and he never forgave himself. It didn’t matter how many times I told him we would have found a way to sneak out even if he was there.

So, now he was here. All. The. Time.

I loved him for it, but I’d hoped time would soften him around the edges. It hadn’t, and my irritation grew with each outburst when I was nothing but safe. Trust me, no one prepared for the worst-case scenario more than I did.

“Relax, Erik. The first stop on the trip is to Asheville at a super cute cabin. I’ll send you the address if it makes you feel better?”

“A cabin? In the woods? Alone?”

I had to inhale as deep as I could and walk away, not at all surprised when he followed. Knowing the next answer I gave would probably send him on the crazy train, I used my most innocent voice and avoided his eyes by folding another shirt. “No, I’m going with Daniel.”

“Daniel?” he roared. “Daniel? The owner of the sex club? Is taking you to a cabin in the woods?”

“It’s not a sex club.”

“You know what I mean,” he growled. “What are you even doing, Hanna?”

“He’s my friend. What’s the difference between this and going with Alex?”

He huffed a disbelieving laugh and threw his arms wide. “Alex doesn’t want to fuck you. Alex doesn’t claim friendship when all she wants to do is get in your pants.” Grinding his jaw, he dragged his hands over his face. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Throwing my shirt in the suitcase, I turned with my hands on my hips. “Erik, stop. I’m fine. We’re just friends.”

“Don’t be so stupid, Hanna. Don’t be so naive.”

I slowly pulled back, my brows joining my hairline, and glared in wide-eyed shock. “Excuse me,” I said dangerously low.

“That’s not…shit. That’s not what I meant.”

“No, no. Tell me how you really feel. Don’t stop now.”

“Dammit, Hanna,” he growled again, his palms slapping his thighs. “You know you’re smart. But you’re putting yourself out there for the first time. It’s new, and I don’t want someone to take advantage and hurt you.” His eyes pleaded with me to hear him, to understand, and I did, but it didn’t make it better.

“I know I haven’t done this before. I know how inexperienced I am. But inexperience doesn’t make me stupid.” I relaxed my posture and tone. “I know what I’m doing. If you think either one of us is going into this without knowing where the other one stands, then you don’t know me at all. I’ve analyzed every scenario and talked it through.”

“I just…I love you, Hanna. I don’t want you to get hurt or not be taken care of.”

He didn’t want someone who didn’t know what I’d been through to be careless and put me in a position that could send me into a panic attack.

“He knows.”

Erik stopped pacing and turned to me; his jaw dropped. “What?” he whispered.

“He knows. He knows my fears, and he respects them. We both wanted to travel—hell, it was my idea. We’re both getting something out of it that has nothing to do with each other. We’re just partners in our trip—traveling companions.”

“You told him?”

“I mean, he knew enough just being around us. It’s not a secret among our circle, but yeah, I’ve talked to him about it. He’s actually been teaching me self-defense classes.”

Erik swallowed. “I would’ve done that. We tried. We can still try. All the resources at Haven are always open to you, Hanna. No questions asked. And I’m always here.”

“I know.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. Erik was a giant pain sometimes, but he’d saved me. He’d moved heaven and earth and risked his life to bring both of us home. I loved him more than anyone and knowing he was always on my side, centered me more than anything else. “I know you would have. I wasn’t ready then. And, honestly, I didn’t realize I was ready now.”

“He’s not forcing you, is he?”

“No,” I laughed. “If anything, he’s overly cautious, while also not babying me. It’s kind of nice. But he always lets me know we can stop at any moment.”

I didn’t mention that that was for more than just the self-defense. If Erik knew what else Daniel taught me, nothing would stop him from blowing a gasket, and Alex would be super sad if I made her boyfriend have a heart attack before she could marry him.

“Good. I’m glad. I wish it was with someone else, but I’m happy you’re happy. I guess.”