Teacher - Voyeur

“Well, I should—”

“Now that you’re back—”

We spoke at the same time, and he gestured for me to talk first.

I held up my stack of papers like a shield. “I should get these dropped off.”

He ran a hand through his hair and stepped back enough to be noticeable, but quickly covered it with a smile. “Yeah. Sure. Maybe I’ll see you around the lunchroom again. Missed those math puns.”

“You know what they say. Math puns are the first sine of madness,” I said, walking past him, giving an awkward laugh to go with the lame pun.

Still, he smiled, and all I could think was that it didn’t affect me like it did before. Not like Daniel’s.

I skipped the elevator and took the stairs, waving to Erik’s assistant, Laura, as I passed.

“He’s not in right now,” she said.

I almost sagged in relief at not having to face him.

“But Alex is in there. His meeting is running late, so she’s waiting.”

Shit. Alex was worse than Erik. She’d see through the best of masks I could create. I considered dropping the papers off with Laura and avoiding the office altogether, but deep down, I didn’t hate the idea of talking to Alex. She’d give me shit, but she’d also listen, and maybe that was what I needed.

“Hey,” I said, pushing the door open and closing it behind me. I’d need privacy and a sign if Erik was back. God forbid he overhear anything.

“Hey to you,” Alex greeted from behind Erik’s desk. “Long time, no see. How was your vacation?”

“Good.” And just like that, I blushed and smiled. “Great, actually.”

When I found the courage to peek up from under my lashes across the room, Alex had both eyebrows pushed high over wide eyes.

“What?” I asked, all innocence.

She blinked unimpressed.

“Come on. I brought Erik lunch, but he’s not here to eat it, and I have a feeling fries are going to be needed for this conversation.”

She grabbed the bag and gestured for me to follow her to the seating area. “It was just a trip,” I said, laughing awkwardly. I didn’t know why I continued pretending when we both knew I’d spill eventually.

“Where did you go? You look tan.”

“We went to Asheville and the Caribbean.”

“The mountains and the ocean. Not bad.” She nodded and shoved a handful of fries in her mouth. She considered me as she chewed. “Now, did you start having feelings for him before the trip or during?”

I choked on my drink, unprepared for her directness. I thought we had more time of innocence and beating around the bush. “What?”

“I mean, you’ve always stared at him with googley eyes, but who wouldn’t. He’s hot. But now, just mentioning your trip, I thought you’d melt into a puddle right before my eyes, and I didn’t even mention him yet.”

“Maybe I just enjoyed my trip that much.”

“The mountains and ocean aren’t that great. Unless there is a sexy man with you. Tell me,” she started, one brow cocked high. “Did you continue your lessons while you were there?”

Not even bothering to look away, I took a huge bite of my burger, buying time.

“So, you did,” she assumed correctly.

“It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It obviously does.”

“It doesn’t to him.”

Alex’s deviousness softened to concern, and she turned serious. “Are you sure?”

Flashes of Daniel above me, watching me so closely as he moved inside me. The way he held my hand like I was his haven when he fell apart in my arms. The way we made love anywhere and everywhere we could on our trip. The way he always made sure I knew I was safe. The way he kissed me and made me forget this wasn’t anything but a way to get me comfortable with touch.

Sometime over the trip, the lines blurred. I just didn’t know if they only blurred for me, or maybe they had for him too.

“We said no relationships.”

“Things change. Do you feel like they’ve changed?”

“For me, they have. But I can’t tell if it’s just for me. Maybe I’m imagining the way he looks at me because I want it to be more.”

“I understand. But maybe you’re not imagining it.” We both stopped to take a bite, thinking over the possibility. “What happened on the trip? What happened that made you realize it was more?”

Biting my cheek, I considered not telling her, pretending nothing happened, but why bother. I needed to tell someone. “We slept together.”

Her eyes grew comically wide before her jaw dropped and stretched into a smile. “Noice.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh my god. Stop.”

“Tell me about it? Good? Big? Long? Hooked to the left? Maybe right?”

“Stop.” I laughed harder, my hands covering my face.

“Oh, come on. I’ll tell you about Erik.”

“Ew. No. Please, don’t. I’ll tell you what you want to know, just please, not that.” She smiled victoriously and gestured for me to spill the beans. “It was great. More than great. It was perfect.”