One Bride for Three Firemen
Reluctantly, we allow her to wedge herself between us. But there is no way we are going to let this guy be alone with her. He looks unhinged.
“You just left!” he yells out. “You didn’t say anything! You just left! That’s illegal!”
Olivia stands up straighter, crossing her arms in front of her chest and tapping her elbows with her fingertips.
“You told me to leave,” she says in a sassy voice.
“You have a lease!”
She just shrugs. I can feel her shoulder moving against my elbow.
He begins to pace back and forth, running one hand across the back of his head over and over again. Silently, I dare him to come a little bit closer so I can swat him back to the front door like a soccer goalie.
“Olivia,” he starts again in a low voice, “you still have three months left on your lease. I could sue you!”
“Fine, go ahead,” Pete shrugs.
Roger glares at him, furious. Then he stops and narrows his eyes suspiciously.
“What the hell does it have to do with you?” he spits. “Seriously… Who in the living hell do you think you are?”
Nobody answers him. We all know who we are.
Footsteps overhead start and then accelerate as Stephan rushes into the room. He looks around for a moment to decide whether we are in an emergency situation or not. Apparently, he realizes quickly that Pete and I have it handled, and he simply comes over to stand with us and front him off as a team.
Roger takes us all in with a look of arrogance and disgust.
“You have got to be kidding me,” he scoffs. “Jesus, Olivia, you are some special kind of slut. I bet you are banging all—”
“Did you pay that ticket yet?” Pete interrupts.
Roger sucks his teeth. “You didn’t give me a ticket,” he crows.
Pete rubs his chin thoughtfully. Stephan looks at him and nods.
“Did we forget to give this guy a ticket?” Stephan asks. “He clearly had a violation.”
“A four-hundred-dollar ticket!” Pete says. “Did we forget to give him a copy? Stephan, can you go grab that for him? I’m sure he will want to take it with him when he leaves.” He turns to Roger. “You can pay it by mail or online. Very convenient these days.”
“This isn’t fair!” Roger bawls.
Stephan struts toward the desk near the overhead door and makes a big show of rustling the papers there. I know they didn’t actually write Roger a ticket, so he’s going to have to do it right now.
“I want my security deposit back,” Olivia suddenly says. I can see Pete turn away to hide his laughter.
“Excuse me?” Roger says, outraged. “You don’t get your security deposit back if you break a lease!”
“Don’t forget about the other apartment! The one across the hall!” Pete yells out.
“Roger that!” Stephan yells back
Roger tips his head back and stares at the ceiling, trembling with rage. I love it when little guys tremble with rage. They’re so cute. Like a barn kitten that is all puffed up.
“I want my security deposit back, and I want my last month’s rent back too. Since you kicked me out. And I left just like you told me to.”
Stephan jogs back with the papers in his hand: two yellow slips with official-looking carbon writing on them. He hands them to Pete, who takes a step forward.
“Are you going to give the woman back her deposit?”
“Hell no!” Roger insists.
Pete thrusts the tickets toward him.
“Up to you,” he shrugs. “We will be by next week to check your property for more violations. And the week after that, and then periodically after that, you know, by surprise.”
Roger’s eyes go wide. His face goes completely white. “That’s outrageous! That’s illegal!”
“I don’t think so,” Pete answers. “I mean, I’m the fire chief. I think I know the law.”
Roger stares at the papers then stuffs his hands under his armpits.
“Fine!” he finally growls.
“Fine, what?” Olivia asks sweetly.
“Fine! You can have your goddamn deposit back!”
“And my last month’s rent?” she continues, all innocent and sweetness.
“Fine!”
“Do you have your checkbook with you?” Pete asks sternly.
“Do I have my…” Roger just stares at him, incredulous.
Without another word he turns on his heel and leaves the room. He returns in about forty-five seconds, holding out a check toward Olivia which she takes with a gracious smile.
“You know what? You were always a b—”
I step forward. He gasps and looks up at me. I don’t have to say anything.
He doesn’t say anything either. He just turns around and leaves.
Olivia stares at the check, holding it between her fingertips.
“Now, you just put that away,” Pete says, all fatherly and bossy again. “It will be a nice start to your firehouse salary.”
“Wait… I get a salary too?”
“Hell yeah, you get a salary!” Stephan says. “What, did you think we were just firemen out of the goodness of our hearts?”